View Full Version : My web comic makes Indiana Jones refrences
07-05-2007, 12:01 AM
Hello all! I am a huge fan of Indiana Jones, and have been doing a daily web comic called Tourist Trap USA for a few months now. It's mainly about stupid stuff people do on vacation from the perspective of the front desk clerk. Now Since I made it, I had to add a few geeky references, and besides Star Wars, Comics, and Video games, I LOVE INDIANA JONES. So I make a few tributes/references to the awesome man that is Indiana Jones.
you can view the most recent here (http://touristtrapusa.blogspot.com/)
and all the Indy references here (http://touristtrapusa.blogspot.com/search/label/Indiana%20Jones)
Please stop by, read a few, and let me know what you think!
Is constructive criticism allowed or can we just make comments like "cool comic, keep it up?"
Well... even at the risk of getting chewed up by fanboys of niceness:
The basic idea is just cool. Unique. I have a feeling it could be a setup for some great gags. Also, the art is hip (rule #567, never critisize the art if you personally can't draw even prettier stick figures). But man... do you need a writer. Joke buildups, punchlines... they're pretty much nonexistent.
If you allow me to rant a bit more, I can make a few suggestions.
1) The balance between Normal and Bizarre is key. The joke buildup and punchline should have that contrast. If everything seems usual 'til the last panel, something REALLY weird should happen in the end. And vice-versa. If there's something strange going on since beginning (like a guy with a hat and a Chinese kid arriving on an elephant), in the punchline panel one of the chars should act like it happens every day, world moves on. Or if it's raining, they shouldn't be happy about customers not coming in but about something really over the top, like "flooded street also means flooded shark pool" (and then have a fin going up the street in the last panel possibly accompanied by some yells of horror). Okay, maybe not the best idea, but you get the picture.
2. Color up the language. The characters lack wit. They should be a bit more sarky, even in situations that would make "normal" customer service people lose their jobs. Also don't forget the normal - bizarre rule.
"Hey... they arrived on an elephant? Those things take up DOUBLE parking space! Why didn't I charge extra?"
3. References are cool. They add extra spice. But they DON'T make up for the lack of an actual joke. You can fill it up with lines from Star Wars, Indy, Matrix, Firefly or whatever (boy was I proud to actually get most of those) but if it's all there is... well, they don't necessarily equal funny. (See pointer #1. If you add a Jaws notion in the shark scenario, it works because there is a joke even without it.)
4. Balance between text & visual cues. Sometimes there is something described in dialogue that would be rather funny to actually see. Like when the place is flooded and one of them talks about fishing... funny, kinda. But what about instead of just two talking heads mushing about fishing you actually PUT some fish in there? (Or even better, add a shark, a reference to an earlier joke, a retake, is always funny.) On another notion some panels have some really weird visual things going on (like lightsabers) but then dialogue fails to keep up, effectively killing the joke.
But in the end, eh... what do I know. Good thing you have something to do to pass the time. Nice comic, keep up the good work. I'll go hide from fanboys now.
07-05-2007, 07:28 AM
I like the input! The reason for the simple art sometimes is time. I know it would be cool to do some wicked drawings some times, but I like the idea of a daily comic... and that takes a lot of time! And I am definitely not a writer, I just take most stories from my real life, and want to show how stupid people can be. I will take a lot of these ideas in, and I am so happy you checked it out!
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