View Full Version : I feel horrible
indifan101
02-28-2009, 11:43 PM
I told myself I would never cheat on a girl but as of friday february 27th I broke that vow. I go to a community college currently and I've been tutoring a girl in political science for two weeks now. Now I won't lie she's very pretty beautiful brunette and a very athletic and attractive body. Anyways when we first met she was shy and didnt talk much but as the sessions continued she grew to like me and we started to commuincate like old friends. But this week she went from friendly chat to last call flirting. Playing with her hair smiling at me constantly laughing at stupid jokes and moving her foot near my leg under the table. I told her I was in a relationship and she said she understood and started to take it down a notch which was nice. On friday campus was closed because president's day was moved to the 27th so instead of meeting at the library we met at her house. When I arrived there she was wearing the most flirt like outfit I'd ever seen. A tight body top, thong riding her hips and tight sweatpants. I knew this meant trouble but my duty was to help in this subject and I wasn't going to leave. We studied for an hour in her living room and things were going great untill we started after the break. As the second hour got underway she started to move a little closer near me and look at me more. Then she made a move she started to glide her fingernails across my face softly and I had to admit I loved that feeling and I knew what she was up to. But I couldn't stop her, my emotions took over my common sense and soon I fell into temptation. She moved her body to lay on top of me and we started to make out which lead to yes (sex) After we were done I felt so mixed up. I didn't know what to do I decided to go to a party get drunk and try to forget it but I can't I feel so ashamed of myself. I mean what would you have done?
jamesdude
02-28-2009, 11:44 PM
life goes on......
indifan101
02-28-2009, 11:47 PM
I don't know what to do. I think I'm starting to really like her now after that
DocWhiskey
02-28-2009, 11:57 PM
How long have you had your girlfriend?
That's the thing with us guys, it's hard to resist temptation. We love our girlfriends, but when a sexy brunette is suddenly on top of you telling you she wants you,well, resistance is our downfall. But that doesn't mean we CAN'T resist. I told girls to back off a couple times when I was in a good relationship. You screwed up, You're only human. Even though now your gf will probably think you're the antichrist.
Assess the situation. Do you like this "student" gal more then a friend? Or did you just want to have sex with her? There's a difference. Do you like the relationship you're in now? Frankly your study pal just sounds like th type that sees "doing" you as a goal. Once she has achieved it she's done. If you're not happy with your current gf, tell her and leave. She at least deserves honesty. If you are happy with your gf and want to continue having a relationship with her, talk to your study gal pal and tell her to find another tutor. My advice may not be ethical but it's practical. Nobody likes the truth. Never mention it to her if you want to stay with her. You'll get over the guilt.
jamesdude
03-01-2009, 12:08 AM
lets face it, guys need Sexual Healing all the time.....
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Hmm. Spiritus quidem promptus; caro vero infirma.
The fact is - if you can't find sympathy for yourself, you shouldn't really look for it anyplace else either.
Perhaps you should consider letting the problem solve itself, which happens by being open about it - to both of the girls. The results may not initially feel flattering to you, but it's always better than trying to hide what happened, because in that you might end up even selling out the rest of your principles.
The healing starts once you've done everything you could so that you can look yourself in the mirror again.
While this piece of advice seems to be the total opposite of DocWhiskey's, I consider it highly circumstancial too. You're still young and have no serious material commitments to your current girl... and there's plenty of fish out there in the sea.
DocWhiskey
03-01-2009, 12:17 AM
I like Finn's advice better :up:
Don't listen to me. I'm unstable.
Violet Indy
03-01-2009, 05:27 AM
I feel sorry for your gf- because I know what it's like on her end. I was cheated on in high school and the girl he cheated with, she knew he was spoken for. When I found out from another source, he offered me a free kick to the groin, which I refused. He left me for her. They broke up after I moved town. Years later, he tried to be my friend on MySpace- I disapproved and you know, he sent me a message and he still didn't sound sorry about it.
It seems you're sorry for what you did, but to me, if you really had any love for your gf, you wouldn't have let that happen. And the brunette is not good news at all, if she banged you knowing you were taken. She isn't worth taking up as a steady. To me, I think you should break it off with your girl and tell her the truth and be single for a while if you really just want to sow wild oats for lack of a better phrase or to heal and forgive yourself for what you did. I'm not saying it is completely your fault- it was the brunette's too.
Hawkeye
03-01-2009, 09:16 AM
This brunette reminds me of my ex-girlfriend. She was only interested in sex, and when I made it clear that I wanted to wait, she left me. Oh, and not to mention that she cheated with an old friend of hers, told me about it and expected me to act as if it was nothing. Now, she's considered by many to be the easiest girl on campus. In other words, I'd be surprised if this girl was serious about a relationship.
Now, as for your current gf, yes, if and when she finds out (these things have a tendency to leak) she will probably hate you. But face it, if you didn't want her to hate you, you should have put an end to this fling with the brunette before anything happened. I can't tell you exactly what to do to come to terms with what you did. Just do whatever you feel necessary to get to the point where you can live with yourself and say "What I did was wrong, but I'm only human. Next time I'm in that situation I'm going to do it differently. Life goes on". Good luck, man.
Dr Bones
03-01-2009, 06:15 PM
I mean what would you have done?
Well too late for the obvious but not cheat would have been the best idea. Secondly not putting it out on an internet forum might not have been the second good idea you had.
You cheated and that sucks...I know.... But that means there may be something wrong in your relationship in the first place. I would also strongly point out thay this brunette may not be the next relationship material either. She knew you had a gf...you aksed her to cool it...she still pursued you. Don't be surprised if she dumps you for someone else too. How can there be trust in a raltionship built on a foundation of cheating?
If your original relationship is worth saving...don't tell her it will only hurt her and likley end what could be a good thing. Carefully borach the subject with thw brunette...seh may have only be interested in a one nighter and hopefully she will casue no trouble. If she seems like the bunny boiler type...it's time to pre-empt her and perhaps come clean.
Be prepared to be subject to some Cr@p flinging and your rep may be shot for a while.
Learn from a stupid mistake..we all make them...let this be the point in your life that you decide this will not become a cycyle of behaviour or your character trait.
Your young and relationships will come and go..often they don't end well...but those that don't start well don't go well either if you catch my meaning.
Go with your gut..you know these people and how they will react. Just don't play with their feelings to ease your own. If a relationship is going nowhere. tell them straight and think with your big brain!
If your original relationship is worth saving...don't tell her it will only hurt her and likley end what could be a good thing. You don't definitely hurt anybody else by this method, that's true. But what about yourself?
If you think the benefits of your current relationship beat the feelings of guilt, this is the way to go.
Nurhachi1991
03-01-2009, 06:59 PM
I wish I was as cool as you :(
Dr Bones
03-01-2009, 07:07 PM
I wish I was as cool as you :(
Cheating isn't cool. It's cowardly.
It's cooler to end a bad realtionship porperly and honestly or resist temptation when in a good relationship (but when in a good relationship it's easier to resist)
You don't definitely hurt anybody else by this method, that's true. But what about yourself?
If you think the benefits of your current relationship beat the feelings of guilt, this is the way to go.
The guilt will be there which ever route he goes...unless he's complete scum which obvioulsy he's not from the way he describes his feelings.
But you raise a good point.
You are going to have to deal with your guilt and decide if the relationship is worth saving.
You have been weak...accept it....now man up.
Attila the Professor
03-01-2009, 07:09 PM
I wish I was as cool as you :(
As Finn? Yeah, he's a stand-up guy with a fair deal of wisdom to share.
Nurhachi1991
03-01-2009, 07:14 PM
No as indifan101 I mean the only way that scenero would happen to me is in a dream.
And yes Finn is a very wise man
Dr Bones
03-01-2009, 07:17 PM
No as indifan101 I mean the only way that scenero would happen to me is in a dream.
And yes Finn is a very wise man
That's what I thought you meant...like I said not cool.
Dreams can turn into nightmares and will for indifan101.
And if Inifan101 posted his story for praise....not cool. I don't think he did.
Nurhachi1991
03-01-2009, 07:26 PM
That's what I thought you meant...like I said not cool.
Dreams can turn into nightmares and will for indifan101.
And if Inifan101 posted his story for praise....not cool. I don't think he did.
I was being sarcastic but I know it's impossible to tell on a forum so that is my bad.
My only question is why would you post something this personal on an Indiana Jones forum?
The guilt will be there which ever route he goes...unless he's complete scum which obvioulsy he's not from the way he describes his feelings.
Well, I was referring to a different kind of guilt. The one that comes from dishonesty. Not only does he has to feel bad about what happened, but also for acting as it never did.
As I said, if the benefits feel like worth it, then I'm not going to moralise. But I sure know that it doesn't make dealing with the thing any easier.
Niteshade007
03-01-2009, 09:17 PM
If your original relationship is worth saving...don't tell her it will only hurt her and likley end what could be a good thing.
Don't tell her? Seriously, that's your advice? Are you nuts?
He has to tell her, regardless of whether or not he wants to stay with her. The only way he has a chance of the two of them staying together is by being honest. Keeping this from her isn't going to work out. She'll find out eventually. It'll be better if he's honest now, as opposed to getting caught later.
If she leaves you, indifan101, unfortunately you have no one but yourself to blame. If a girl comes onto you, that doesn't make it okay for you to sleep with her if you're with someone else. It drives me crazy when people blame the girl in situations like this. She saw someone she wanted and went after him. It's not her fault if he can't keep it together.
Pale Horse
03-02-2009, 09:22 AM
It's all good, that's what us moderators are here for. I forwarded this thread to the victim in question.
Sharing is caring.
indifan101
03-02-2009, 11:01 AM
Anything but praise. I talked to my proistemenos yesterday and I confessed my sin. I spent all day on sunday alone and to make matters worse she's planning on coming down to see me this weekend. I don't know if I should tell her or not, because she seemed so happy when I talked to her and she kept asking why I seemed upset. I used a lie saying my dog was ill which in a way he is he has an enlarged heart. I didn't post this for praise and if I did may god cast my soul to the 8th layer of hell. I posted this cause I didn't want to tell my dad mom friends or anybody that was friends with my girl. Nurhacci you might think this an adult fantasy come true but when your in a relationship it's the worst thing to have happen. When you single it's great when your not it's wrong.
I don't know if I should tell her or not, because she seemed so happy when I talked to her She's probably happy because she thinks she's got a good and honest boyfriend.
Unfortunately, that's not true. Since ignorance is bliss, you can still keep on being good, but that means you can't be a honest one. Or alternatively, if you tell her, you remain honest, but won't probably be much of a good one to her anymore.
I've no comment on which one you should be, it's your choice.
When you single it's great when your not it's wrong. Why it's utmostly important that your next action is the right thing, whatever you believe it might be.
<small>As a side note, anybody wanna get in on a little betting pool? I've got 20 bucks riding on him chickening out and not telling her.</small>
Pale Horse
03-02-2009, 12:04 PM
She's probably happy because she thinks she's got a good and honest boyfriend.
...oh SNAP! :whip:
And I'll throw 20 in the pot too. Of course, when we all throw in money, he'll tell her, take the cash, and blow it all on strippers.
And I'll throw 20 in the pot too. Of course, when we all throw in money, he'll tell her, take the cash, and blow it all on strippers. Hey, at least there's no reason to think those wouldn't be honest earnings.
Niteshade007
03-02-2009, 03:14 PM
If he felt anything for his girlfriend at all, he'd be honest with her. Continuing to lie about your mistake is not exactly a step in the right direction.
roundshort
03-02-2009, 03:41 PM
Dude,
Your what 18, 19, have fun, go out drink and bed as many as you can. Don't be in a relationship until over 30! Enjoy your 20's, I know I did! just be safe!
Pale Horse
03-02-2009, 03:43 PM
tucker max, to the rescue. Married at 35, myself.
adventure_al
03-02-2009, 03:57 PM
What sort of guy are you!? how old are you? get them both pumped!
What are you stressing about, grow some balls get over it.
Dr Bones
03-02-2009, 03:58 PM
Well, I was referring to a different kind of guilt. The one that comes from dishonesty. Not only does he has to feel bad about what happened, but also for acting as it never did.
Yes i know...it will eat at him...but he has to choose what he can live with and what he wants.
Don't tell her? Seriously, that's your advice? Are you nuts?
He has to tell her, regardless of whether or not he wants to stay with her.
Standard advice from many relationship advisors! Seriously!
Do you throw away a good long term relationship for one indescretion just to appease your own sense of guilt?. It's really your own feelings you are trying to subdue...but it's a whole can of worms.
Trust me...you will feel a lot guiltier when you crush her whole world and tell her that she wasn't good enough and worthless to the extent you jumped on the next girl available. That's not how you will say it but that's how she will hear it.
Then you go down the whole "it's not you it's me" BS. :sick:
But if you want to end the relationship, tell her because you will be extremely lucky if she doesn't dump you then bad mouth you to everyone.
I am guessing you are teenagers and have no commitments or ties like a house or kids. Therefore she is more likley to try and save face and drop kick you around town.
Be prepared for every girl in your social circle to treat you like a leper for a looooong time and hope her dad/brothers aren't a lot bigger than you.:dead:
Whatever you decide...you messed up and you are gonna have to live with it.
This ain't gonna be easy. :(
That said....you are young...you'll live. Maybe too you to be tied down.
Live a little before you get all relationship heavy?
Goonie
03-02-2009, 04:05 PM
:whip: Ménage à trois?
Hey you never know, some people are into that kind of thing.:eek:
PS: What's with all the sex threads lately? there's the Sex with Indy? thread, there's the thread where jamesdude is trying to get advice on getting laid. What's up with that? Is is something to do with the economic situation? People too depressed?
Yes i know...it will eat at him...but he has to choose what he can live with and what he wants. As I've stated numerous times, it's all the same to me what he does. I'm not one to judge. I'm just telling the poor sod what he might have to live with it. If he can suppress those feelings, I don't really care.
There are people who won't think much of it, and you're obviously one of them... and thus telling the fella here what you think is the smart thing to do. Despite strongly arguing for it like a blind mule, your advice really isn't any better than mine. It's just the alternative. Besides, who knows if she doesn't think much of it either?
...only one way to find out, though.
And I still got twenty bucks on it.
there's the thread where jamesdude is trying to get advice on getting laid. Girlfriend. There's a difference. If you need to get laid, all you have to do is to go to the right place and say those magic words...
"Excuse me, miss, but does this handkerchief smell like chloroform to you?"
Pale Horse
03-02-2009, 05:40 PM
"Excuse me, miss, but does this handkerchief smell like chloroform to you?"
I was always fond of: "F--- me if I'm wrong, but don'cah wanna kiss me?"
roundshort
03-02-2009, 05:56 PM
I was always fond of: "F--- me if I'm wrong, but don'cah wanna kiss me?"
"Around the world is HOW MUCH?"
Jorbex
03-02-2009, 06:05 PM
If I can throw in my 2 cents, I'm also of the idea that confessing won't accomplish much beside getting his gf to hate his guts. I know you think it'll make you feel better, but it won't. I know it's the honest thing to do, but I doubt it'll improve the situation in any way.
And yes, you're lucky you're not married or engaged; that's when the real trouble starts.
So judging by what we've heard this far from a bunch of cynic bastards, the best option seems to be dumping her without confessing.
"Sweetheart, I'm sorry but I think we've just grown apart."
Jorbex
03-02-2009, 06:26 PM
So judging by what we've heard this far from a bunch of cynic bastards, the best option seems to be dumping her without confessing.
"Sweetheart, I'm sorry but I think we've just grown apart."
I, for one, never gave any opinion on wether he should dump her or not; that's a question only he can answer.
I'm only saying that a confession, in itself, will not achieve anything.
Dr Bones
03-02-2009, 06:44 PM
So judging by what we've heard this far from a bunch of cynic bastards, the best option seems to be dumping her without confessing.
"Sweetheart, I'm sorry but I think we've just grown apart."
:eek: Harsh. We are entitled to an opinion too and I wasn't arguing...I agreed you made a good point!
I'm only saying that a confession, in itself, will not achieve anything.
Ditto and Finn I'm only offering an alternative to what some of the others have advised. I respect your advice and you're bang on that mine is no better..but it's from one who's been down that road.
I didn't say dump her or to save the relationship...merely what his options and likely outcomes of those options are.
His choice. his mess..he asked for advice and it would be remiss of us to give one opinion only. JEEZ!!
Does it echo in here? I've said it's a choice between his conscience and his relationship since post #11, and one that he can only make alone. One option, he saves his conscience but probably loses the girl. The other option, he gets to keep the girl but has to suppress the guilt the best way he can. It's a s***ty deal either way.
And for the record, when I said "cynic bastards", I was definitely including myself into the bunch.
It's weird how some people get worked up while I'm in fact only reminding them of the principles of impartiality.
Dr Bones
03-02-2009, 07:10 PM
Does it echo in here? I've said it's a choice between his conscience and his relationship since post #11, and one that he can only make alone. One option, he saves his conscience but probably loses the girl. The other option, he gets to keep the girl but has to suppress the guilt the best way he can. It's a s***ty deal either way.
And for the record, when I said "cynic bastards", I was definitely including myself into the bunch.
It's weird how some people get worked up while I'm in fact only reminding them of the principles of impartiality.
Ditto what you said...I just said it differently :D
indifan101
03-02-2009, 10:20 PM
Today was rough even at work and for all of you who bet against me you just lost. My consicense has won the fight and I'm going to be brutally honest about what happened. But as for the brunette I learned some things about her. While I was walking into class today she pulled me aside and asked to talk to me. When she did her eyes stared to well up and she put her hands over her face as her shoulders shook. She couldn't stop apologizing for what had happened on friday appearantly her boy friend recently broke up with her for one of her best friends and it hurt her pretty bad. I didnt know what to say at that point I told her how sorry I was about what happened to her. But as for the affair part I didn't say anything except "look I think your a very good looking girl but right now I'm in a real mess and I think it'd be best if we don't talk to eachother for a while. I'm sorry but your going to have to find a new tutor. She agreed and apologized again. We hugged cause she wanted to and I walked away. For now I'm just thinking about what I'm going to tell my girl friend. And no ass hole remarks ok I feel worse enough as it is.
Pale Horse
03-03-2009, 09:26 AM
I feel worse enough as it is.
"The internet....it's not just for diary's anymore....."
Attila the Professor
03-03-2009, 11:16 AM
Today was rough even at work and for all of you who bet against me you just lost. My consicense has won the fight and I'm going to be brutally honest about what happened. But as for the brunette I learned some things about her. While I was walking into class today she pulled me aside and asked to talk to me. When she did her eyes stared to well up and she put her hands over her face as her shoulders shook. She couldn't stop apologizing for what had happened on friday appearantly her boy friend recently broke up with her for one of her best friends and it hurt her pretty bad. I didnt know what to say at that point I told her how sorry I was about what happened to her. But as for the affair part I didn't say anything except "look I think your a very good looking girl but right now I'm in a real mess and I think it'd be best if we don't talk to eachother for a while. I'm sorry but your going to have to find a new tutor. She agreed and apologized again. We hugged cause she wanted to and I walked away. For now I'm just thinking about what I'm going to tell my girl friend. And no ass hole remarks ok I feel worse enough as it is.
Well, you handled that part pretty well, I'd say. It must was mostly her, I guess, but still.
Dr Bones
03-04-2009, 05:44 PM
For now I'm just thinking about what I'm going to tell my girl friend.
Good luck. I hope it goes as well as it can and that the posts people have put on here have given you food for thought.
indifan101
03-04-2009, 11:26 PM
Well news has been released to her and I must say it wasn't as bad as I expected it to be which was good. But for right now I'm single and she's thinking about what she should do now. I told her how sorry I was and how guilty I felt after I left that night. I must of left a hundred apologies on her email and phone. I am truly sorry and dissapointed in myself for doing what I did and I've stressed upon the re-evaluation of my moral values. I skipped class today and stayed at home thinking to myself about what I did. It's just a suck situation. guys learn from me, don't make this mistake and I'm sure most of the girls on this message board think I'm trash now and so does everyone else probably
Niteshade007
03-04-2009, 11:54 PM
Well, for what it's worth, I think you did the right thing by telling her. You showed her that you respect her enough to be honest with her, as opposed to risking her finding out later...and then you would have REALLY been in trouble.
So, you made a mistake. I don't really believe in true love or anything like that, but I do think that things happen for a reason. It's possible that you two just weren't "meant" (for lack of a better word) to be together. And that's fine. There are lots of people out there for both of you.
Good luck.
I must of left a hundred apologies on her email and phone. I think this was actually a mistake. You should just let her process it in peace. I've pissed off enough women to know that you're most likely just making matters worse.
I mean, you seem awfully apolectic now, try to prove her that you care so and so much, but what good is that if you didn't offer much thought towards her when that siren was onto you? I've no doubts that you feel awfully bad and are genuinely sorry, but to a woman this kind of behavior might reek of despicable hypocrisy.
Another thing is that now that you've got a clean conscience it might be the time to re-evaluate your feelings towards her. I'm not in a position to question anything, but I can speak for myself. You see, now that I look back to some of the relationships I've had (especially in my teens), I've kind of come to notice that I've been in a few more for the sake of having a girlfriend than the girl itself.
And for clarification, while I have managed to keep myself away from this particular sin, I've done few other things I'm not particularly proud of...
Pale Horse
03-05-2009, 09:08 AM
... I've done few other things I'm not particularly proud of...
Yes, but the ones we are proud of, boy we're proud. :D
|ZiR|
03-05-2009, 09:21 AM
http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o314/BloodyThesis/michael20jackson20gif.gif
This thread rules. It's like an addiction; I keep hitting F5. Don't stop, boys.
Pale Horse
03-05-2009, 10:10 AM
gobsmacked....!
Michael Jackson was black?!? Where have I been....
roundshort
03-05-2009, 10:38 AM
Would Indifan101 pork Michael? That is the question. And would he feel bad about it?
Pale, watch the thread drift!
Violet Indy
03-05-2009, 06:34 PM
^ Very funny!
.... guys learn from me, don't make this mistake and I'm sure most of the girls on this message board think I'm trash now and so does everyone else probably
Let me just clarify that I don't think you're trash- true be told, you're still young and being young means you make stupid mistakes. Sure, I wouldn't have cheated on someone because that's against my morals, but if I wanted someone else over a theoretical boyfriend, I would break up to take time out to realise what I really want- anyway, my point is yes what you did was wrong, BUT.... you now have realised in a very big way why it was wrong and chances are, if you really are sorry, you'll never do it again. It sounds like you learnt from your mistake and as long as you do your best not to let it happen again, you're not trash.
I think my ex is trash because he still wasn't sorry years later. He didn't see what was so bad. And that's the real difference between you and him.
Nurhachi1991
03-05-2009, 07:08 PM
No Indifan101 your not trash and I apologise for making light of the subject earlier that was not right.
indifan101
03-07-2009, 09:17 PM
No Indifan101 your not trash and I apologise for making light of the subject earlier that was not right.
Thank you for your apology it's ok I guess some can see a comic relief in it, where I don't know but I recieved a text from her today asking me if I was ok. I said I've been doing a lot of thinking and taking time to just go step by step and working out some problems at class and home. I said to her "I'd do anything to make right what I did wrong." Her response was quiet but she said "I really have to keep thinking" but she didn't say that she was not going to talk to me. She wants to still talk but as for getting back together I can't guarantee anything. I told her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. I think the apology and the sincerity made her feel better. I just wanted her to know how much I care about her and never meant to hurt her. I just want to make things right again but I'm not sure if I can.
adventure_al
03-10-2009, 11:49 PM
Thank you for your apology it's ok I guess some can see a comic relief in it, where I don't know but I recieved a text from her today asking me if I was ok. I said I've been doing a lot of thinking and taking time to just go step by step and working out some problems at class and home. I said to her "I'd do anything to make right what I did wrong." Her response was quiet but she said "I really have to keep thinking" but she didn't say that she was not going to talk to me. She wants to still talk but as for getting back together I can't guarantee anything. I told her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. I think the apology and the sincerity made her feel better. I just wanted her to know how much I care about her and never meant to hurt her. I just want to make things right again but I'm not sure if I can.
Heres a story:
Similiar to yourself (but done properly ;) I can look back and laugh now :p )
Best girlfriend I ever had, this girl was awesome. Anyway to cut a long story short I got 'tempted' by this other girl. Made a 'video' with her and it got uploaded to the internet, only for my girlfriend stumbled across it. (what are the chances!?) It is like something straight out american pie!
I know I messed up and that girl was perfect for me.
Obviously I came clean and 'fessed up everything telling her exactally how it was and apologised. She didn't except that and was still bitter about it (who'd have thought? :rolleyes: )
but now I've got over it. Just have to let it go and learn from your mistakes. (don't film it!:p ) :hat:
The Magic Rat
03-11-2009, 07:49 AM
Link ?
Hahahahahahaha. Oh, man, you made me spit out my coffee.
I'll be sitting in a meeting today and probably start laughing again.
indifan101
03-25-2009, 12:25 AM
As many of you know I posted a thread about my confession of having an affair with another girl and it causing my single status. Well after much talk and absolute honesty with ourselves my previous girlfriend and I gave a very in depth talk and decided to get back with eachother. She admitted aslo to kissing another guy while she was with me and that honesty that we both gave has developed a new sense of trust between us. We've re written our vows and rules to eachother and for the last three weeks we've gone on great terms. I think we both knew what happened was a mistake and as humans we are tempted and sometimes fall short some of our goals in committment. But I feel so much better and this mistake I made will never happen again. Learn from my mistake fellow raveners and always remember the key to a successfull relationship is always honesty. Never lie and keep secrets from him or her cause in the end it eats you up even worse.
|ZiR|
03-26-2009, 12:55 PM
No, see, the minxy brunette should come back into the picture now, pregnant.
That'd be a good twist.
Also,
Link ?
Pale Horse
03-26-2009, 01:00 PM
Link ?
jamesdude
03-26-2009, 01:06 PM
Link ?
"somebody called for me?"
http://zs.ffshrine.org/album/twilight-princess/art/zelda_2005_link.jpg
Violet Indy
03-26-2009, 08:43 PM
^ To the above, hahaha.
Alright, now I'll be serious for your sake, indifan101:
She kissed another guy while she was with you? Everyone makes mistakes I guess. I'm probably not best to say anything other than, good luck to both of you.
Though right now, I'm feeling kind of left out.:p I'm single with no action in sight :rolleyes: .
I'm single with no action in sight :rolleyes: . You know, all you have to do is say the thing above on an Internet forum with male majority and you'll soon notice that... no wait. You already... never mind. Silly me.
And boom goes the dynamite.
monkey
03-27-2009, 06:46 AM
Indifan 101,
Hmmm..............
OK, well, I read your first post in this thread, and then skipped to the last page.
That said.
Relax. Man, you're not Married!!
So you "cheated" on your Girlfriend (Not officially cheating, because she's your Girlfriend, NOT your wife).
Big deal.
You're a young male. You're supposed to seek out as many females as you can,........that's nature.
My advice: Don't worry about it.
Move on.
Attila the Professor
03-27-2009, 07:20 AM
Indifan 101,
Hmmm..............
OK, well, I read your first post in this thread, and then skipped to the last page.
That said.
Relax. Man, you're not Married!!
So you "cheated" on your Girlfriend (Not officially cheating, because she's your Girlfriend, NOT your wife).
Big deal.
You're a young male. You're supposed to seek out as many females as you can,........that's nature.
My advice: Don't worry about it.
Move on.
How is that "not officially cheating"? Are we not supposed to have any sort of commitments to people that aren't set down contractually? Yeah, because we <I>really</I> need to work even harder than we do now to treat every relation as either one of business or of law. That's not a very attractive view of human society, if you ask me. It also doesn't seem easy to switch from an "ah, it's not marriage, who cares?" to an "oh, it's marriage, can't go outside of it!" It's all about freedom, and never about obligation, and what we've got to recognize is that in so many cases like this, freedom is really just a bit of sham selfishness.
Now, I think indifan101 was not necessarily selfish, but rather just weak, as he himself suggests; he would have preferred to have, and <I>should</I> have, fought against his biological nature, not simply given into it.
monkey
03-27-2009, 07:42 AM
I disagree.
Indyfan 101 is a normal healthy young male.
He is compelled to seek out, and mate with as many females as possible.
That's it. That's Nature. You can't go against Nature.
Even married men seek out other females.......and that is nature too.
Once again, you can't fight Nature.
Just my opinion.
Attila the Professor
03-27-2009, 07:44 AM
Even married men seek out other females.......and that is nature too.
And do you want to crown these men with laurels for their infidelities, just because it was natural of them to commit them?
monkey
03-27-2009, 07:57 AM
Wow!
Not sure I want to crown any man, for anything.
But I certainly can understand.
And I don't jump on a High Horse, and condemn.
Jesus Christ Himself even said: "He who is without sin, cast the first stone".
But maybe there are Holier than thou individuals who can sit in judgment over us all.
Maybe we even have them on this forum.
Attila the Professor
03-27-2009, 08:07 AM
See, the whole hypocrisy tack never really persuaded me that much, for precisely the sort of thing you cite here - we're <I>all</I> guilty, and so why should we have to shut up over offenses that we see? There's no moral progress otherwise.
So I'm not up on some high horse, monkey, but to try to write off infidelities as just some natural form of freedom? As a son of a philandering husband, I can't help but find that disgusting.
Once again, you can't fight Nature. I always was under kind of impression that one of the things that make us human is the ability to fight our carnal desires, as opposed to other animals.
I don't mean one always wins (and shouldn't even), but we sure still can go down kicking if we choose to.
Besides, the nature's aim for arousal is the continuation of species... something that usually does not happen when we give into our temptations. So it might not be as natural as it seems to begin with.
monkey
03-27-2009, 08:27 AM
Sorry that you find me disgusting Attila.
I don't feel the same about you.
I respect you, and your moral standards.
I'm just trying to say that ............there are situations that you might find yourself in where you might not be able to comply fully with what you seem to think are moral absolutes.
I am a good Husband, and Father. And will always be.
However, I have traveled in those parts of the world where sex is not viewed through the prism of Western Civilization. I have been to places where sex is quite free and easy.
Walk a mile in my shoes before you condemn me.
Attila the Professor
03-27-2009, 08:49 AM
I never said that I found you disgusting, monkey, and neither do I find you such.
And I fail every single day to live up to the sorriest of standards that I might set for myself, so I'm sorry that I don't fit into the Puritanical mold that would be so convenient for your rhetoric. There are damned few things we can be sure of in this world, but the morality of fidelity to a partner is one that I'm more than willing to take a gamble on.
How about you try a bit of empathy for the victims of failed commitments, romantic or otherwise, before being so quick to say that being untrue is just a natural impulse that we can't fight?
So, no, I don't condemn you. But if we're going to play the hypocrisy game, than I'd suggest considering just how generous you are to those you discuss things with, because I suspect you could find a heck of a lot of room for improvement too.
monkey
03-28-2009, 06:39 AM
Point taken Attila.
And let me please apologize for my previous posts. Not necessarily for their content, but for the way I presented them.
If the truth be known, I was a bit off kilter last night, and perhaps that came out in my posts. Sorry about that........(I'm constantly fighting my demons, and sometimes they win).
I have the greatest respect for you, and all here on this website.
Thanks for having me here.
Monkey
Attila the Professor
03-28-2009, 07:10 AM
Apology accepted. And if I came off more harshly than I might have wished, I apologize as well.
monkey
03-28-2009, 07:38 AM
No need for you to apologize Atilla.
Yours is the voice of reason, and wisdom.
And I appreciate where you are coming from.
Perhaps we don't share the same history and experiences, no two people probably ever do, but I very much appreciate what you are saying.
thanks again,
Monkey
jamesdude
03-28-2009, 05:35 PM
No need for you to apologize Atilla.
Yours is the voice of reason, and wisdom.
And I appreciate where you are coming from.
Perhaps we don't share the same history and experiences, no two people probably ever do, but I very much appreciate what you are saying.
thanks again,
Monkey
(insert Brokeback Mountain music here)
DocWhiskey
03-28-2009, 06:04 PM
I wish I could quit you....
Goonie
03-28-2009, 06:08 PM
Though right now, I'm feeling kind of left out.:p I'm single with no action in sight :rolleyes: .
Same here. :( Too busy looking for work and because of this there is likely a relocation happening in the future.:hat:
monkey
03-29-2009, 06:14 AM
(insert Brokeback Mountain music here)
Very funny.
You guys are lucky I have a sense of humor.
You guys are lucky I have a sense of humor. And that is what separates you from jamesdude.
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