Funniest Line in Crusade?

[JediIndy]

What is your funniest line in crusade?

Mine would have to be the Tickets please...

"No ticket"

waahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhaahahahahha!!!!!!!!! :D

[Webley]

"Well they dont get any closer than that!"

[bosco]

So many to choose from...

'Look what you did. I can't BELIEVE what you did'

'It tells me that goose-stepping morons like yourself should try reading books instead of burning them'

'The floor's on fire... see... AND the chair'



Last crusade is funnier than most so called comedies.

[Moedred]

"Sallah, I said no camels! That's five camels. Can't you count?"
and
"Helmut, another volunteer!"

Jeffrey Boam also wrote Lethal Weapon 2 that year. The man was on fire.

[Katarn07]

Henry: "Those people are trying to kill us!"
Indy: "I know, Dad!"
Henry: "It's a new experience for me."
Indy: "Happens to me all the time...."

[IndyBuff]

"It's disgraceful dad, you're old enough to be her grandfather."
"I'm as human as the next man."

"How did you know she was a Nazi?"
"She talks in her sleep."


The Indy films have so many great lines and I could probably go on for hours listing my favorite lines from each film. The Last Crusade definately had some great dialouge.:)

[Johan]

I'm getting the impression the only thing you like about the Indy trilogy is the comedy...Maybe you should change your choice of genres.

[roundshort]

Everybodys lost but me

[temple of john]

I lke "No Ticket!", especially after Kevin Smith used that line in "Dogma".

[roundshort]

I lke "No Ticket!", especially after Kevin Smith used that line in "Dogma".

Kevin Smith is the best quoter in the biz! That and "No time for Love Dr. Jones in Clerks! Always makes me chuckle

[Canyon]

Henry: "I'm sorry about your head son, but I thought you were one of them."
Indy : "Dad, they come in through the doors..."

Indy: "How did you know she was a Nazi."
Henry: "She talks in her sleep".

"Dad!" "What?" "Dad!" "What?" "Head for the fireplace!"


and a line that is not supposed to be intentionally funny:

"He chose.....poorly."

[indyt]

"Sallah, I said no camels! That's five camels. Can't you count?"
and
"Helmut, another volunteer!"

Jeffrey Boam also wrote Lethal Weapon 2 that year. The man was on fire.

Thats the one!:cool:

[indyt]

Sallah, I said no camels! That's five camels. Can't you count?"


Thats the one!:cool:

[Violet Indy]

Here's one of my favourites, I love quoting...

"If you are a Scottish lord then, I am Mickey Mouse!!!"

"How dare he?"

Indy punches the Butler out....

[Tennessee R]

"Last photograph I had of you, you were ten."

"I've rehearsed this speech a thousand times in the chance we should meet.
Jade, I'm not an evil man. If you can believe that...... It's a start."

"You must never hesitate"

"Your BEST!?! Loosers always whine about their best"

"...Is a sheer act of lunacy, Captain Sir"

Oh, wrong movie....
But don't you just love those?
I'm listening to 'Jade' from the soundtrack, as I speak.

Everything about that movie, inspirational.

[indifan101]

"That was my brother's car" The flamed wheel rolling down the hill.:D

"You call this archaeology?" Indy's dad popps up from the tank hatch!

"It tells me, that goose snipping morons like yourself should try reading books instead of BURING THEM!" Furiously said by Henry as he grabbs Vogoel's hand right before he delivers a third slapp! :D This is the best Henry line in the whole movie! I love doing my impression of this line!:D

[Indyologist]

Henry (laughing): "Well, they don't come any closer than that..."
After which a Messerschmidt drops a bomb in front of the car, making a nice sinkhole that they "park" in. Obviously Henry Sr. has never adventured with his son before...:rolleyes:

[indifan101]

"That was my brother's car" The flamed wheel rolling down the hill.:D

"You call this archaeology?" Indy's dad popps up from the tank hatch!

"It tells me, that goose snipping morons like yourself should try reading books instead of BURNING THEM!" Furiously said by Henry as he grabbs Vogoel's hand right before he delivers a third slapp! :D This is the best Henry line in the whole movie! I love doing my impression of this line!:D

"Sorry son, they got us!" Henry shoots out the tail wing!:D

[Grizzlor]

The DOG? You are named after the Dog? HA AHAHAHAHAH

[ankrueger]

"Dad, we're well out of range."

[Indy4ever]

Indy: "I like the Austrian way better."

Henry: "So did I!"

Really, how do Austrians say goodbye? ;)

[indy_123]

"No ticket gets" me :D

[Doc Savage]

"You shall have camels, desert vehicles, provisions, an armed escort, and...thanks."

(Not necessarily in that order, mind you.)

[Violet Indy]

"No ticket gets" me :D

It gets me too....

[DaFedora]

"It's disgraceful dad, you're old enough to be her fa... her grandfather." "I'm as human as the next man."
You forgot a piece - Indy replies after this: "I WAS the next man." :p

Hilarious moments..


Awkward that noone finds the scene funny in Brunwald Castle were the Jones Boys are caught in Henry's confinement, and the Nazi officer asks:
"Dr. Jones?"
To which both of them reply "Yes?"...

Would be funny to have the officer reply in a maffia Jersey accent:
"Allright, you smartasses, cut it out! Don't play games with me. What? You gonna tell me you two are related in some kind? Pfwah! You two look like you don't differ more than 10 years from each otha... You expectin' an inheritence from this hatted owl or what?"

Sorry, I've been playing Godfather the game a bit too much recently (and have been reading up on the Mario Puzo novel) - please excuse my insolence...

[ankrueger]

"Ahh...Venice." :whip:

[ROSLEE]

Henry: "I'm sorry about your head son, but I thought you were one of them."
Indy : "Dad, they come in through the doors..."

Indy: "How did you know she was a Nazi."
Henry: "She talks in her sleep".

"Dad!" "What?" "Dad!" "What?" "Head for the fireplace!"


and a line that is not supposed to be intentionally funny:

"He chose.....poorly."


Haha that was mine favorite quotes as well. I thought it was funny when he came threw the window. lol

-R-

[Laserschwert]

Yesterday I've been to an Indy triple-feature at a local cinema, which still has me all fired up. So here we go (in no specific order):

"I should have mailed it to the Marx Brothers!"
"Of course you can see my papers... run..."
"Water... water... water... wa... WATER! WATER!!"
"Asps... very dangerous... you go first."
"The floor's on fire... and the chair... I'm observing the table..."
"Our situation hasn't improved." (and a very nice ironical idea to have the fire-place being the ONLY place in the room NOT on fire)
"I'm sorry Junior... they've got us."
"Maybe he likes older women...?"

"Does anybody here speak English?"
This line got a HILARIOUS twist in the German version of the film. Since they couldn't have Marcus hoping for someone to speak English (after all the movie was dubbed in German), he was asking "Does anybody here speak ancient-greek?" Which just shows him knowing all kind of USELESS historical stuff.

And I just love this dialogue:

Indy: Fräulein — will you permit me?
Elsa: I usually don't.
Indy: I usually don't either.
Elsa: In that case, I permit you.
Indy: It would make me very happy.
Elsa: But I'm already sad — by tomorrow it will have faded.
Indy: Tomorrow I'll steal you another.

By the way, did you ever notice in "Temple of Doom", in the scene where Indy is fighting the big guy on the conveyor belt, after Shortie has pulled the needle from the voodoo-doll, Indy keeps punching the guy, and the music keeps repeating itself in that part with every hit... very very funny musical idea.

[ROTLA]

Quite possibly my favorite:

Elsa: What's that one?

Indy: Ark of the Covenant.

Elsa: Are you sure?

Indy: Pretty sure.


That cracks me up each time I see/hear it.

[Laserschwert]

Quite possibly my favorite:

Elsa: What's that one?

Indy: Ark of the Covenant.

Elsa: Are you sure?

Indy: Pretty sure.


That cracks me up each time I see/hear it.

And did you notice that John Williams' "Ark"-theme from "Raiders" is played for a few seconds during that moment? Very cool.

[TombReader]

'No,thank you...fish make love in it'

I never even heard that in the film until I got the DVD.

[Doctor Jones'89]

Yes ROTLA, that's my favourite line too:)

[temple of john]

Indiana Jones: I said no camels, thats 5 camels. Can't you count??

Sallah: Compensation for my brother in-law's car.

[indifan101]

"Look what you did! I can't believe what you did!" Henry disgusted about the shooting. "Don't call me JUNIOR!";)

[Doctor Jones'89]

Also very funny:
Indy: "Dad, you gonna have to use the machine gun. Get it ready....Eleven o'clock!"
"Indy: Dad -- eleven o'clock!!"
"Henry: What happens at eleven o'clock?"

AND

Indy: "Dad, are we hit?"
Henry: "More or less......Son, I'm sorry, they got us"

[temple of john]

Also very funny:
Indy: "Dad, you gonna have to use the machine gun. Get it ready....Eleven o'clock!"
"Indy: Dad -- eleven o'clock!!"
"Henry: What happens at eleven o'clock?"

AND

Indy: "Dad, are we hit?"
Henry: "More or less......Son, I'm sorry, they got us"

There were alot of funny lines in that movie.

[EvilDevo]

"Dad, we're well out of range."

I love this scene. I love the way Indy says it so casually, and how he is so condescending towards his dad :rolleyes: ... only to have the situation literally blow up in his face. Then Sallah's "That car belonged to my brother-in-law..." as a flaming wheel rolls by.
Hilarious.

[indyrcks]

my favourite quotes from Crusade are

When Henry said I should have mailed it to the Marx brothers

[whipcracker666]

Quite possibly my favorite:

Elsa: What's that one?

Indy: Ark of the Covenant.

Elsa: Are you sure?

Indy: Pretty sure.


That cracks me up each time I see/hear it.

You beat me to the punch, thats my favorite line also. Probably because of the smart-ass way Ford delivers it. Its not just the tone in his voice that makes me laugh but also the look on his face when he says it. Nobody can deliver cynnical/ smart-ass one liners quite like Ford.:)

[The Golden Idol]

I love Sallah's whole brother-in-law's car dialogue. :D

[The Golden Idol]

'No,thank you...fish make love in it'

I get a kick out of that line.

[Cagefighterkip]

Henry SR: Those people are trying to kill us....
Indy: I know Dad!
Henry SR: It's a new experience for me!
Indy: Happens to me all the time...

====

Indy: How'd you know she was Nazi?
Henry SR: She talks in her sleep.

[Bvance]

http://upload.moldova.org/movie/movies/i/indiana_jones_and_the_last_crusade/thumbnails/tn2_indiana_jones_and_the_last_crusade_3.jpg

"I should have mailed it to the Marx brothers!"

[The_Raiders]

Henry "I supose this is just another typical day for you, huh?

Indy "NO! But better then most."

Henry"What aobut the boat? We're not going on the boat?"


Lots of funny things but pretty much everyone mentioned the others I like :D

[Nurhachi1991]

" Oh the papers.........run Egyptian King Running edition.......run" -Sallah


"Where Marcus" -Henry Jones Sr. (He said the line right after Marcus gets elbowed in the face off of the tank)


"Germany has declared war on the Jones boys" - Walter Donavin

[The_Raiders]

I just have to say the whole thing :p

Sallah, "Papers, of course!...run Just finished reading it myself.. run, Egyptian King running edition.."

Marcus "Yes,, uh did you say..."

Sallah "RUN!"

[IndyAJA77]

I agree with everyone's suggestions, but I wanted something original to add. The scene in the tank with Marcus and Henry is pretty funny---"...the pen is mightier than the sword."

Also, I know it's not a line, but the father/son glances and expressions on the motorcycle are very funny---without them saying a word. Indy is proud of himself and dad just isn't having any of it.

[Benraianajones]

"You said go vetween 'em!"

[DocWhiskey]

I love the scene where the street vender asks Marcus if he wants water and he replied, "No thank you, fish make love in it."

:up:

[IndyAJA77]

Indy telling his class that "X" never marks the spot and then to have it do so is amusing. The librarian with the stamp and Indy breaks through the "X" really adds the humor to the scene.

[Benraianajones]

I find Indy's comment in lecture about not following maps to long lost cities, in relation to 19 years later him off looking for Akator!

[Marionfan706]

all r funny my favorite
"They come though the doors dad"

[Indy~Annie]

i love them all!! but nobody mentioned the 2 Marcus parts which i adore..

Marcus-How does one get off this thing??..."falls off tank. ha ha!!!

Marcus-I know the way HYA!!! starts falling off horse... (i cant remember if he said Indy and Sallah,or Indy and Henry....cant remember...)

[bonoferox]

My favorite isn't really a line as much as the non-verbal gesture made by Marcus as Indy steals the flower for Elsa from the street vendor.

[singsingjohnny]

"I should have mailed it to the Marx brothers!"

My favorite too...HILARIOUS! :D

[AnythingGoes93]

"No ticket"

"If you are a Scottish lord, then I am Mickey Mouse!"

Vendor: "Water?"
Brody: "No thank you, fish make love in it"

"More of less....I'm sorry, son. They got us."

[Indy~Annie]

^ hey cool name!!!! :D

i wonder why none of us thought of it.hehe