It's certainlly the case with most Lovecraft(ian) writing that you need to read it multiple times to understand what was going on. Or at least wait for the italics at the end which reveal that "...the writer had been dead the whole time!"

My critiques:

* the transition from Nazi escape/jungle setting/"traditional Indy adventure" to secret base/high tech/robots is very abrupt. I feel that reveal should happen more slowly to ease the reader in. Don't get me wrong - the end of part 1 / start of part 2 look great. But everything that happens while Indy is tied up is exposition, and it's not pay-off for anything. There is no mystery being solved beyond "what am I looking at?". IMHO an interstitial scene where Indy fights Dreizehn without knowing what it is, escapes - continuing the mystery - then encounters other inexplicable tech before getting captured would improve the flow of the story.

* The robo-Nazis are too extreme. There is no intermediate form between "boring human" and "wtf is that?". Again, I think a bit more gradual reveal would improve things. For example, one resembling the Toht designs with just one augmentation. (Also, I couldn't help but think of the web comic "Romantically Apocalyptic")

* The rescue team's arrival seems like deus ex machina... and they are seemingly gratuitously multicultural. It's like the A-Team crossed with G.I. Joe crossed with... The Village People.

* The story lingers on the violence too much, both in the jungle and in the base. While the Indy films do contain a lot of death and especially Nazis getting killed (technically just German soldiers, but in the Indyverse they're all Nazis), the story doesn't linger on this. The comic's focus on each violent act is a bit disconcerting.

But hey, you have a story with Indy and the Shining Trapezohedron and alien/nazi/zombie/robots, so keep it up!

^Interesting points.

Perhaps scaling back a bit on the extent of the sci-fi stuff might have made it more digestible to some.

I agree, it does feel a bit like overkill. Compare to the concept Toht - that was just the arm. Or HB's Kroenen - that character was the exception, not the rule. He was the ONLY Nazi (in the film, not the comics) with a weird tech appearance.

Obviously, the comics contain some really nutty stuff, like the head in the jar robot dude, but that stuff would have been just too out there for the Hellboy films.

You have Battle droids, an unmodified Moff Trachta figure, and a Nazi officer who is more machine than man. Perhaps just the commandant as part robot would have been enough? Or putting the Trachta head on a regular Nazi body?

As I said, an interesting opinion. Perhaps a more subtle approach would have been more palatable to some folks.

But I'm still very eager to see where things go from here!

@Lance: No need to apologize, Lance, as I can also be quite brusque in my posts.:cool: Like Drifter, I already complimented Dark Horse before throwing out a negative. It's just that this thing started off so well and I'm constantly on the lookout for a perfect, high-quality Indy fan work (as elusive as they may be).

@Dark Horse: I am TRULY looking forward to seeing more of your efforts but will skip any panel that has a robot in it.:) (And this is coming from someone who started a thread on Toht/Belzig's robotic arm! Toht's Robotic Arm.):D

Lance, there is no need to apologize to me. I'm sorry that I misread your intentions in that post.
I think Dark Horse is doing a marvelous job, but I just dislike sci-fi mixed in with my Indy. That's the only complaint that I have, and that in itself should show him what great work he is doing if that's the only thing that I can nit-pick at. :p
I will continue to follow this thread and hope that DH will not let my opinion keep him from posting more of this story. It has caught my attention.

Like I said, I'm glad you guys even took the time to reply further than "Cool" Or "I don't like it" :)

Hopefully you'll warm to the whole thing as chapters wear on.

The reveal of the robot guys had to be stark and blunt. It's supposed to show Indy really, really being in over his head right from the get go. The same can be said of the rescue. I don't think the gang are Village people types; it's only Ackbar that is dressed differently than the others. :confused:
The whole vibe of the Cthulhu mythos is hopelessness. I want Indy to convey that, and to show how he deals with it throughout the story.

Even with the Sci Fi stuff, I hope you guys can look past the fact that they are Star Wars parts and not associate it with that type of Star Wars Sci Fi itself. The designs are supposed to be steampunky, like they would be what you could come up with if you had the knowledge and not neccessarily the materials. Think Tony Stark building the MkI armour in the cave ;)
I know it's almost an unadultered battle droid, but I hope you guys don't actually think it is a battle droid. Think more a big iron clockwork bastard or something.

Belzig only has a gas mask and goggles; that's not even Sci Fi.

Stahl and Dessler were originally going to be veterans with the updated limbs originally blown off. I rejected that idea because it might have given them a bit of sympathy. I just wanted them to be stereotypical Nazis, just with the twist.

As for the violence, I don't think it's different from the films that much. I was going for a rougher Indy.
We're still so early in the story also ;)

Well, they had a Hell-holegenerator that could cross dimensions, Rasputin's Mecha glove, and cyborg scientists. That was all in the first five minutes.

And don't be surprised if you don't see Von Klempt in HB 3 ;) He's loved by a lot of fans :)