My Indy 4 script.
Hello fellow Indy fans,
I've been a long time observer of this forum, and now a first time poster.
For the last 2 years I've been working on an Indiana Jones sequel that would be worthy of the original, in my opinion the best of the trilogy.
I am currenty trying to market this story and I realize that the odds are against me.
I would love to post the script here for your reactions, but if the plot were published, I'm afraid that would doom my chances.
I will reveal this, the story takes place in 1953 and the adventure spans five continents for reasons crucial to the plot.
I know from reliable sources that the official INDY IV script is NOT finished, and I sense that there are fundamental problems with its plot. My mission is to get this script in front of Steven Spielberg, and if he gives it the thumbs down, then the entire world can read it and judge for themselves who had the better idea.
I am confident Steven will be blown away.
I'm sure a lot of people will read this and think I'm full of it, but just think, any person can stumble across a totally intriguing idea, and if they are willing to devote practically every waking minute to refining that idea and mentally punishing themselves until the plot is solid as a rock and the action sequences are truly spectacular; Then they too will have accomplished what I have.
My script is currently in the hands of an agent, and a little Internet buzz could go a long way in furthering this cause…. to help make the best Indiana Jones movie ever.
I for one would like to see that movie.
Welcome to the Raven gear01.
We have been through a similar situation befor...with merancapeman..but If the script is as good as you say...I would love to see it get the chance
unfortunally, there is about a 0% chance that it will be indy 4, but if it truely is a winner, then MAYBE, just maybe, it has a shot in getting Indy 5. I am doubting that we can get this done, I think the only way that steve won't shrug it off is if it gets recommended all the way to the top.
If we can do this and prove that you are serious, only then will he look at it. If you send it with no recommendations, he will think it's just some crazy fan suggestion and shrug it off because it's too long or something...perhaps
if it can be done, we will do it, we have been willing to do this befor and are willing now, and by god, we are willing to do it again.
anyone who has a suggestion, post it here, I'm also ganna talk to Aaron G, the webmaster over at TIE.C, perhaps he can help
and of corse, as you have probubly witnessed befor:
Welcome to the Raven, Where Paths Cross
we're not here to critique his Idea...we're here to try to get that script to Steven
Visit WGA.org before posting your script. Pay the fee to get it copyrighted. Then you can post knowing that the rights to your script are secure. Just know that even though you have a copyright, small insignificant chages can be made and only a lawyer will be able to fight it for you.
gear01, I know exactly how you feel. I too have been working on an INDY 4 script for the past few years. I have the story finished, but at this point I still have a few pages to write on the script. I've sent letters to Speilberg, Ford, Lucas, and even Karen Allen, along with the intro of my script. So far I have gotten only one reply- that from Lucas's staff but apparently no one read it. I would be willing to hitch hike to Hollywood if I thought I had a chance to get someone to read it, but alas I'm not too confident.
What motivates me is all the rumours I hear about INDY 4 and the trouble finding a story everyone likes. I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks that the Almighty (or some other diety) is trying to say to me "Hey, I'll hold them off while you make your move". I have a little hope, not much buy a little.
Anyway, I would love to let people look at my script but as y'all say, someone smart enough could make it their own. I have it notarized, but I guess a full copyright would be better.
About my script: What I can tell you is my story is a meld of Raiders and Last Crusade, and whether INDY 4 or INDY 5, my script is written as to be the last of the INDY movies.
It takes places in 1955, and there are two main characters, shadowing the style of Last Crusade, but the story itself is kind of dark, like that of Raiders. I feel I should mention that this is the very first script I've ever written, but I have shown it to published writers and they say it is an incrediblely well-written story.
Good Luck to you Gear, and anyone else who dreams of getting their story made into film.
Hey gear01, could you email me a copy of this? I won't steal any of your ideas, as writing an Indy script is more than demanding of me. But for some strange reason I believe you when you say it'd be the best.
E-mail it to me if you can, would you? And if you can't. no biggy. Thanks.
Also, I have spoken to Darabont on a number of occassions through email. I will try and forward it to him if you can send it to me.
Wow, thanks for all the encouraging words.
To answer a few questions.....
Yes my script is registered with the Writers Guild of America.
2. If I posted the script or plot it would be all over the Internet in a week.
Why would the producers then make that movie if all of the plot twists and surprises were known in advance of the movie's premiere.
3. Using my script for Indy 5 would be great, providing Indy 4 took place prior to Spring 1952. The events of my story are locked to some specific world events. I don't think anyone would want Indy 5 to be a prequel to Indy 4.
4. It would be great to speak with Frank Darabont. It's my understanding he's on vacation as is most of Hollywood. The town literally shuts down until after New Years.
I do appreciate all the suggestions, and in the next couple of days I will
post the opening scene from my script, and a few more hints about the story.
May the chance be with you!!!!
Welcome to the forum. I'd be interested in reading your script too, but I understand you desire to keep it kind of under wraps.
I too am an aspiring writer. In fact, I've got an unfinished novel posted on this site that I'm still working on.
I too used to have aspirations for writing the script to Indy IV, but I doubt I'd have a chance. I wish you the best of luck.
Anyway, I used to worry about posting stuff on the internet too, and having ideas stolen. But after thinking about it a while I changed my philosophy.
My idea is that the best way to get noticed, and make a name for myself, is to post it on the internet. My philosophy is that if someone steals something from me then no matter, there's more where that came from.
I would be interested in seeing your Indy IV script
But i hate to say this but i just dont think that is stands much chance with the big three simply because it is a fan script and it is very late in the process.
Perhaps more realistic would be to try and turn it into a novel and then it may stand more chance and then who knows....Indy V?
More on My Indy 4
As promised here is some more.
My story begins much like the others, with a mini-adventure. We catch up with Indy just prior to a monumental discovery. His jubilation is short lived when everything turns disastrously wrong, and the experience leaves Indy at a crossroads. Maybe it’s time to hang up the Fedora. But before he can, someone emerges from his past with a desperate plea for help. The table is set for Indy’s last and most personal adventure that places him unwittingly between a source of fantastic energy and a superpower bent on abusing it.
Here is an exert from the opening scene…
Two old wood shutters with the image of a mountain carved into them, are slowly opened by a beautiful Tibetan maid. It is early morning and like the sunlight, we enter the room; a rustic lodge filled with heavily carved furnishings. We come to a table where a MAN is standing in the shadows gathering his things. He reaches for a pocket watch.
All we see is his strong but aged hand at the end of a tattered leather coat sleeve. He looks at the watch, winds it a bit, and tucks it away.
We follow his hand to an old photo lying on the table. It’s a picture of the man and his father in earlier years. The edges are torn.
He gazes at the photo for a moment, then places the picture in an equally weathered book. He moves to a whip, fastens it at his side, then reaches out for the Fedora. He carefully straightens the rim, brushes off some dust, and places it on his head. These are the things that are endearing to INDIANA JONES, Each with its purpose and history. Let the adventure begin! Wait, the pistol, where did he leave the pistol... And finally the shadow of the man crosses a mirror, too fast to see his face, and heads toward the door. He tips his hat to the beautiful maid who enters the room with a stack of linen.
Outside in the courtyard and from a distance, a round man wearing a fez greets INDY. It is SALLAH, Indy’s long time confidant. The men gather with a crew of mountain guides and pack mules, and leave the protection of the Tibetan Outpost. It is the mountains at hand that hold the object of Indy’s quest.
The team traverses many ridges and valleys ever climbing higher. The journey is arduous, but finally a plateau is reached.
The silhouette of Indiana Jones pales to the mountain he now stands before; an ice covered glistening majesty. Indy scans upward, soaking in the mountains brilliance. He removes his hat as the light illuminates his face, and for the first time we see the face of Indiana Jones. The same man we have traveled with on so many adventures, only aged by years and slightly thinner hair, this is our hero. With his sleeve he wipes the sweat from his forehead and instructs the guides to set up camp.
It is “1952, Tibet Border” and 14 years have passed since we saw Indy last.
Next time I'll reveal which characters return, and what I think should be borrowed from previous films and what should be avoided.
Well judging by the number of responses to my last post some ten days ago, it seems no one is interested enough to comment. So for my amusement alone I’ll conclude by listing the returning characters to my story and what my story shares with its predecessors.
First off of course Indy returns, only now in his fifties his knuckles sting a little each time he cracks someone in the jaw.
Marion Ravenwood returns, less prominent than the original but none the less pivotal to the story. This is definitely NOT a cameo appearance.
Henry Jones Sr. plays equal time to the last film and is an integral part of the story.
Willie Scott is back in true form as Indy battles enemy agents, trashing her nightclub in the process. Although not scripted Short Round could make an appearance here, maybe as a junior Jackie Chan bartender jumping in when Indy needs it most.
And how could you make a last Indy picture without Sallah being involved somewhere.
There is one NEW main character and two prominent villains making first appearances to the franchise as well as scores of injured and dead.
I think the tone of my story is most similar to Raiders of the Lost Ark, and in every sense a true adventure film. Unlike the other films there is no magical spiritual occurrences, but don’t feel cheated, there are lost artifacts to be found and a great many near impossible action scenes, and true to form Indy does save the world again.
So that’s it for now, as I said at the start of this thread my mission in life right now is to see this script on the big screen.
Comments are appreciated,
Interesting. I care less about the returning characters though than the story. Indiana Jones is the only really important character. But that's another discussion.
Anyway, in the previous post you describe the opening of the story. It sounds fascinating! And it's apparent that you posess writing skills. My question is this: Have you written the whole thing already? Is it in screenplay form? or novel form?
Would like to read more.
Yes the story is completed in screenplay format and mirrors the opening as posted, complete to its final scene where Harry Truman awards Indy a special medal for valor at a White House ceremony.
I mentioned the returning characters and there screen time to suggest that these exceptional actors should be included in what may be the last sequel, and that the producers don't have to take the easy road and degrade them to cameo status just to appease the fans.
Also, if anyone is interested my background is advertising. I have written and produced over 300 Radio and TV commercials.
Even though my small studio is in central California, in Hollywood circles I might as well be on another planet. None-the-less I'm still trying to pitch this script.
Sounds good G01.
I wish I was disciplined enough to finish my writing projects. I'm trying.
But I'd love to see some more of your work here on the Raven. What I've seen is excellent. I think you could put some more out without worrying about giving it away.
I'm sure that you more than most know the value of Advertising.
Whatever you choose to do though, good luck with it.
Your script sounds very interesting Gear01. It sound s like you have some good ideas. Glad to see that you included a few of the old characters.
Escape from Moscow
The following is one of six action sequences from my screenplay. I decided to post it because it really doesn’t give away much of the plot. I also changed the format so it wouldn’t take up as much space. This sequence happens mid way through the film. As cool as it is, you haven’t seen anything yet. Enjoy.
Escape from Moscow
Indiana tries hard to shake the fog. He has spent half the night being interrogated by the cold hand of the KGB. As much as he would like to stop and let Henry fill-in the blanks as to how he managed this particular jailbreak, there will be plenty of time for that once they get as far away from Moscow as possible.
The two move along a dank alleyway. The morning is now in full swing and the shadows in which to hide are becoming shorter. On the street corner ahead two men from a sanitation crew are spotted propped-up against their broom poles, a short distance away their truck is parked.
A plan is quickly hatched. Indy reaches down and borrows a liquor bottle from a passed-out Muscovite in the alley. The bottle is empty but a brown paper bag conceals the fact. Henry proceeds on toward the truck just around the corner while Indy rather loudly breaks into a drunken rendition of a Russian folk song. When the two sanitation workers turn to look, Indy waves them over for a mid morning Salute. All too happy to oblige, the two comrades burst into jovial song. As they approach, Indy extends the bottle to one of the workers. The worker takes the bottle thanks Indy and says, “Salute.” Indy embraces his comrades still in song, with one hand on each other’s shoulder. The worker tips the bottle and soon realizes it‘s empty, it has come to that moment in the folksong when Indy uses their heads like two Russian cymbals. With a crash the two are laid–out cold.
Indy places the bottle in a conspicuous place, takes a hat from one of the workers and looks up to see Henry backing the truck up to where the alley connects the street. Henry gives a quick wave and Indy cautiously makes it to the cab of the truck. Indy shuts the door and is quickly overcome by a foul stench, “Dad, what is that smell?” “Junior, I’m fairly certain we have just commandeered a garbage truck.” Indy pulls out a cap from inside his coat, “then here, you better wear this.”
The truck pulls away with its eight barrels of rubbish and a swarm of flies in tow.
Indy sinks low in his seat, “Dad you know where you’re going right?”
“You forget, I spent two semesters lecturing at the Moscow Academy, we turn left here”, Henry steers the truck in a new direction, “and proceed south out of the city. Simple.”
“Dad we’re headed north!” “North? Are you sure?” “Pretty sure Dad.”
Indy starts fumbling around the cab of the truck and notices a folded map clipped to the overhead sun visor. He unfolds the city map and quickly verifies their wrong direction.
“So now where?” quips Henry. Indy studies the map that is now spread out across most of the dashboard and windshield “Hold on, okay, okay, right here, turn!”
Henry turns right, and into oncoming traffic. Cars are honking their horns and swerving. “Dad we’re going the wrong way” “You said turn right!” “No I didn’t, I said turn. This is clearly a one way street, look at the signs!” “You think I’m blind boy?” “Just turn Dad.” “I distinctly heard right!” Henry turns at the next intersection and the truck is now traveling on a less busy street.
“Okay, Okay Dad, my mistake.” “I should say so.” Indy brings the map up again determined to find the best way out, “Believe me, the last thing I want is to attract any unnecessary attention.” Just then a lady screams, and Indy pulls down the map that has been covering the windshield. Directly ahead is a large group of people blocking the road. Henry starts swerving and the crowd begins to part like the Red Sea. People are running about when Henry crashes a wood barricade and swerves hard right as the truck intersects a column of Russian tanks.
They have no less then steered right into the middle of a Soviet Military Parade in full regalia. Complete with armored tanks, mobile rocket launchers, hundreds of troupes, and Joseph Stalin standing proudly over the entire event.
Tune in tomorrow for the exciting conclusion to Escape From Moscow.
[Edited by gear01 on 01-19-2004 at 06:25 am]
This is great stuff G01. The way you write it makes it very easy to visualize.
And what a great scene! Henry and IJ driving a garbage truck into a Soviet military parade!! Right under Stalin's....nose.
But I find it a pity though, that there will not be any "magical spiritual occurrences".
I mean… you bring back a lot of the previous characters ( maybe a bit to many ) to link it with all the other films.. but why leave the magic out?
Jokingly -- maybe it's a magical occurence to take a wrong turn into a major Soviet miliary parade. Have you ever seen the photos of the crowds around Red Square for one of those May Day like Parades?
Seriously though Gear01, great stuff. I really enjoy reading it.
Escape From Moscow Part II
Indy leans out the window and looks back behind the truck, all he can see is armored tanks thundering down all around them, “Dad what ever you do, don’t stop!”
The street lined crowds collectively gasp as the lowly garbage truck joins the procession. Stalin now spots this abomination meandering through the ranks of his mighty army. The generals at his side appear as if nothing is wrong, and hope that Stalin won’t notice for great fear of invoking his wrath. But Stalin’s blood is beginning to boil as he starts pounding the podium in front of him. Stalin yells down to an officer mounted on horseback twenty feet below at street level. The order is clear, “Arrest those imbeciles.”
The mounted officer gallops out into the parade and into the columns of slow moving tanks. He quickly catches the garbage truck as Henry drives in complete sync with the tanks. Henry and Indy have a stoic look about them, as if perfectly natural to be part of the ceremony. The officer screams to Henry and motions him out of the parade. Henry cups his hand to his ear as if he can’t hear a word the officer is saying. At that, the officer un-holsters his side arm and raises it toward Henry. “Dad, step on it!” Indy stomps down on Henry’s foot causing the truck to lurch forward in a great burst of speed. Henry is now weaving in and out of the tanks with the rider in hot pursuit firing his automatic pistol; One tank commander in seeing this, gives the order and the forward machine guns are brought to bear onto the garbage truck. A short burst of hot lead sends garbage and sludge spraying out from the back of the truck. “Dad you better lose these guys!” Indy grabs the steering wheel and spins it loose from Henry’s grip just as more shots are fired. The truck squeals around in a fast turn nearly dumping its cargo. The officer on horse momentarily looses sight of the truck, which is now traveling the opposite direction and head first into the columns of tanks. The rider quickly pursues the truck, which is now on fire and choking the air with a plume of thick black smoke. Henry yells out “We’ve been hit!” and is frantically steering to avoid oncoming tanks. More tanks open fire with their forward machine guns but can’t seem to hit the truck which is now driving in big circles around them. Instead the bullets are bouncing off other tanks and a few are heard whizzing over Stalin’s head; he ducks for cover. As Henry circles, he and Indy desperately look for a way out of the parade route. The only thing working to their advantage is the huge volume of smoke filling the air.
They seem to have reached the trailing end of the tank column when Henry hits the brakes hard and they skid to a stop.
As far as one can see, hundreds of Russian soldiers now stand in formation directly in front of them. The moment of standoff is short lived when a sergeant blows his whistle and the troupes scramble to load their rifles. Indy leans out the truck door to see if they would have better chances going back through the smoke. Just then the horse gallops to a halt and the officer points his sidearm at Indy. Indy jumps from the truck as the bullet hits the open door shattering the glass. Indy storms the rider and pulls him hard to the ground. The troupes start to engage but choking smoke is blowing in their faces. Indy mounts the horse and yells, “Dad, get out of there.”
Henry grinds the shifter into reverse and guns it. The soldiers fire haphazardly into the smoke.
The tanks have all ground to a halt because of poor visibility and the crowds growing unease. Police are scrambling to hold the spectator’s lines. Henry in reverse goes flying by a parked tank and the opened passenger door is ripped off.
In parallel and a couple of rows over, Indy is galloping slightly ahead of the slower moving garbage truck still traveling in reverse. Indy overtakes the last line of tanks and contemplates his next obstacle, a slow moving line of fifteen motorcycles side by side each with a tall flagpole and a red Soviet flag furrowing behind. Indy trots up to the motorcycles intent on passing through, but each time he tries, the riders swerve to cut his path and the flags are spooking the horse. Indy looks back to see Henry’s burning garbage truck emerge from the smoke filled columns of tanks. The bed of the truck is engulfed in flames now and Henry has no clue where he is headed. The smug motorcycle rider smirks back at Indy just in time to see the flaming mass hurtling from behind. The riders quickly part to make way for the truck, but do it so abruptly that their front wheels turn and collide with the next motorcycle over. The two motorcycles wreck and their awkward flagpoles cause a domino effect toppling every last rider. The flaming heap whizzes past Indy and breaches the line of motorcycles.
Henry tries to spin the truck around but at this point he’s nothing more than a flaming comet. The crowd leaps out of the way as Henry buries the burning heap into some bleachers. The sudden jolt sends all the burning debris into the stands, which quickly catches on fire and spreads to a building sized portrait of Stalin.
People disperse into the streets in total pandemonium. Henry flees the burning wreck and disappears into the moving crowd. Indy gallops past and tries to turn back but the fleeing crowds are pushing and spooking the horse. Some of the armed troupes have just emerged through the tank columns and are making their way over the motorcycle heap.
Indy on horseback is a clear target and a handful of soldiers have spotted him. Indy spins the horse around to bolt and looks forward just in time to steer clear of a parked mobile missile launcher. He gallops up between the column of launchers continuing to look back over his shoulder to where Henry was last seen, “Come on Dad, come on.” Just then a couple of warning shots crack above Indy’s head, he looks forward and his path through the column of missile launchers is blocked by soldiers brandishing machine guns. Indy slows and looks behind to see troupes closing in from the rear. He’s completely boxed. Indy guides the horse along side the missile launcher and climbs up the side. The troupes close in. Indy leaps over two missiles mounted to the top of the launch vehicle and then jumps to the platform of another vehicle parked along side; then he hops to the next. It’s a cat and mouse chase when one soldier in frustration fires a short burst toward Indy that peppers the side of a missile. Liquid oxygen steams out as the adjacent soldiers run for cover for fear of an explosion. A comrade slaps the “trigger happy” soldier across the back of his head and the order goes out, “NO SHOOTING!”
Indy is now trapped atop one of the missile launchers as troupes climb up from all sides. Indy punches one in the jaw and the soldier tumbles down the side flailing his arms and grasps a red handle to break his fail. Suddenly the missile platform lurches upward. Indy loses his footing and falls off the back. A couple of soldiers break his fall and Indy hobbles around the side of the vehicle. The soldier he punched seconds early is lying on the ground and grabs Indy’s legs as he moves by. The soldier yells out in Russian, “I got him!” Indy struggles as another soldier runs up and proceeds to rifle butt Indy in the face. Indy ducks and the butt of the rifle whizzes by his face and cracks into the missile launch control panel. Just then a loud blast ignites the air and missile #1 goes screaming off the mobile launcher. The soldiers immediately behind the vehicle are toasted. Two hundred yards away and across the Red Square the onion shaped dome spire of Saint Basil Cathedral is blown to smithereens. The remaining onlookers gasp in horror as burning debris rains down. The soldier responsible for the missile firing is frozen motionless. Indy grabs the automatic rifle from his hand and runs away. He climbs the service ladder on another vehicle in hopes of spotting Henry in the crowd. People are everywhere in total chaos. Just then Henry yells out, “Junior” and Indy spots a lone motorcycle making its way up through the crowd but too far away to reach, no worries, just then a large Soviet Flag hoisted over the heads of at least fifty students crosses by as they are swept away by the crowd. Indy makes his way across the top of another abandoned vehicle and steps out unto the moving flag as it cruises by. He crosses the floating carpet of red and reaches the other side just as Henry’s commandeered motorcycle rolls by. Indy leaps down and saddles the back of the bike. “Junior, nice of you to drop in.” The two glide through the sea of people and funnel into an adjacent street, which leads directly to the river. They ditch the bike and proceed out onto a low causeway just a few feet above a passing coal barge. They jump and the slow moving mountain of coal breaks their fall. They roll and slide and are completely covered in black soot, all the better to blend in as they slowly sail west.
[Edited by gear01 on 01-22-2004 at 12:00 am]
I thoroughly enjoyed that.
I like it, you've got the Indy-Henry chemistry of Last Crusade just right.
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