Dr. Gonzo
New member
Indy's brother said:
I remember reading something like this from someone on the board and thinking this was clever... (I could have sworn Pale Horse or Atilla suggested something like this as well) but since I can't find it anywhere else I'm gonna give "props" to Indy's Brother. I was bored last night and wrote this scenario in about ten minutes...
Code:
FADE IN:
THE PARAMOUNT LOGO
A DISSOLVE transforms the logo into:
THE PARAMOUNT LOGO (CIRCA 1940'S)
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. ISLAND IN THE SOUTH ATLANTIC - FROZEN BEACH - DAY
An ICEBERG shaped like the Paramount logo is drifting off the
icy shore of an island, a frozen wasteland. A light snow is
falling. The setting almost seems FAKE.
CAMERA PANS to the right of the iceberg.
A snow covered beach. A shelf of thin ice stretches out to
the Atlantic Ocean. There are THREE SETS OF FOOTPRINTS in the
snow. They lead from the ice crusted shore to a small opening
in the frozen rocky surface. A cave. A man made cave.
A STRIKING SILHOUETTE enters view. A man with a LEATHER
JACKET AND A WORN GREY FEDORA has his back to us. He examines
the unnatural hole in the frozen rock. TWO MEN follow closely
behind him.
The first man is heavy set in a late Marlon Brando sort of
way. His face is chapped red by the cold, and from this we
can tell he has no business out here. This is ORSON.
The second man is much more accustomed to this weather. He
seems to be an Eskimo or a Sherpa of some kind. This is
AGUTA.
Orson appears to be nervous, he'd be sweating if it weren't
for the freezing temperatures.
ORSON
(to man in fedora)
Yes. This is it. I told you I would
take you, but I am not going in
there.
The man in the fedora ignores him.
AGUTA
Very dangerous.
ORSON
(to man in fedora)
Did you hear me Jones? I'm not
going in there! Indiana?
The man in the fedora finally reveals his face to us -- it's
CHARLETON HESTON!?!?
CHARLETON HESTON
That's Doctor Jones to you Orson.
INT. MOVIE THEATER - SAME
It is apparent now that WE ARE WATCHING A MOVIE of some kind
based on Indiana Jones' adventures. Heston's face fills the
BLACK AND WHITE SCREEN.
The theater is only a quarter full of viewers. Some TEENAGERS
MAKE OUT in the back. Others watch quietly. But some one is
quietly GROANING AND GRUMBLING.
DOLLY DOWN THE AISLE TO: A MAN WEARING A GREY FEDORA, his
back to us. He casually takes a snork from a SMALL BOTTLE OF
WHISKY. He doesn't seem to be enjoying the show.
ON THE SCREEN
"Indiana Jones" doesn't seem too happy with Orson.
ORSON
I'm not going in there Doctor
Jones.
CHARLETON HESTON
Oh yes you are.
The three make their way into the man made cave.
IN THE CAVE
A TORCH IS LIT. Orson holds the torch as "Indy" leads them
deeper into the cave. Aguta holds the rear.
ORSON
It's so dark in here.
CHARLETON HESTON
Hold your tongue and hold the
light.
IN THE AUDIENCE
The man in the grey fedora shakes his head in disgust.
MAN IN FEDORA
(sarcastic)
Great line.
ON THE SCREEN
The three press on into the darkness. Finally a small light
at the end of the tunnel.
ORSON
(borderline bad acting)
I seriously am not going in there.
AGUTA
(melodramatic serious)
Nobody is.
Aguta pulls out a PISTOL and cocks the trigger hammer back.
Without turning, "Indy" hears this, unfastens his BULLWHIP,
then with lightning speed turns around and WHIPS THE GUN OUT
OF AGUTA'S HAND!
THE GUN GOES OFF, TRIGGERING AN AVALANCHE! The tunnel
collapses on Aguta and Orson! "Indy" makes a run for his
life! The collapse is hot on his heels.
(Boulder scene from "Raiders of the Lost Ark" anyone?)
IN THE AUDIENCE
The man in the fedora isn't buying it.
MAN IN FEDORA
(surly)
That's not how it happened!
The man in the fedora is becoming a nuisance to those around
him. A THEATER USHER takes notice. "Not in my theater!"
ON THE SCREEN
Charleton Heston makes his final bolt out of the tunnel and
leaps just as the tunnel collapses behind him. Safety.
IN THE AUDIENCE
The man in the fedora takes another quick swig.
MAN IN FEDORA (CONT'D)
That's not what happened at all. If
you people only knew.
A LIGHT SHINES on the back of the man's head.
THEATER USHER
Sir, there is no drinking allowed
in the theater. I'm gonna have to
ask you to leave.
The man in the grey fedora turns into the light revealing
himself to be INDIANA JONES.
INDY
I was just leaving anyway.
Indiana Jones, famed archeologist, obtainer of rare
antiquities, drunk, picks himself out of the seat and drinks
what is left of the bottle. He tosses it at the feet of the
usher and casually walks out.
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