Such anger issues. Tisk Tisk. Why young man, more of this behavior and no ice cream after supper.
Please, no need to throw out insults. I'd play your immature little insult game, but your "Faith Hill" trophy wife comments do that enough. How exactly would she respond to you calling her a trophy wife anyway? I can’t help but be curious. I see it as rather chauvinistic, but in your love life, who am I? Trophy wife's implying you show her off, as if you’d make others covetous. If it makes you feel any better to think so, by all means, but I’ve never had much taste for blondes. They all seem to look the same, dime a dozen. Forgive me if I want something a bit more unique. Thing that gets me, though, is this claim that your wife looks like Faith Hill! You’re calling me the idiot? Hah! Honestly, Faith Hill? If you say so, but I proclaim delusions of grandeur. Not that she’s Quasimodo, mind you, I’m above resorting to wife cracks, but the love struck always put their mates on a pedestal.
I’ve got a question. What's made you so arrogant? I’m eagerly awaiting your next inevitable “I’m so wonderful” attention-whorish post. It just makes even the politest sides of my personality want to punch you in the throat. You make me positively livid. Thing is, the ones that tend to boast the most usually are the most insecure. Self-conscious at all? Fishing for complements that otherwise wouldn’t grace your ears? It’s okay mate, you’ve got my shoulder to cry on. Daddy never hug you? It’s basic psychology - I’m not falling for the bragging routine, nor are you making me envious whatsoever, although your ego probably has convinced yourself otherwise.
And I’m always quite amused when you knock my brains. It’s as if you know me, my outside life, and IQ score. You're not psychic...are you? It’s made all the more humorous by the fact that, quite honestly, compared to my writing, it would appears you gave up on English in sixth grade. To be openly honest, I sometimes wonder if you even understand some of my so-called big words. Have you yet grasped that I’m ridiculously sarcastic? You’re really not that thick, are you? Now I’m not a grammar whore, nor am I immune to a typo here and there, but common…I’m an idiot because I don’t openly brag about my love life? It's stupid because I'm confident and pleased enough with my sexual life that I don’t feel a need to blow my own horn? I'm not a man because I don't kiss and tell? Who I’m banging is in direct connection to my intellect? This is your logic? So you're absolutely right, I'm the idiotic one. If this is your mindset on display, I'm an idiot only in your self-consumed and psychotically padded world.