101 Ways to Kill off Willie (POST IDEAS ONLY) funny reads

Henry W Jones

New member
When she is running around the campfire the monkey grabs her and slams her head into the ground then breaks her neck. Or she gets to close to the fire. Her blanket catches, she panics, falls into the brush which catches. And the wildlife had cooked meal that night. Or the snake could wrap around her throat and choke her right after Indy says "Biggest trouble with her is the noise" After her death that they watch Indy says, "Huh, you know Shorty I might have to reconsider what I think about snakes"
 

Daley

New member
I actually love Willie, but these are hilarious..and a tad sadistic - it's great lol!!:p
How about these:

1. Indy chucks the cymbal at Willie's head and she spreadeagles on the floor...then the melee of people stampede, trampling her to death.
2. Indy invites her back to his room, then when she least expects it, he cracks the whip around HER neck and it flies up into the fan, hanging her.
3. This one's easy - Indy pushes harder on the fork, making much, much more than two holes in her dress from Paris!
4. One of the jealous tap dancers oils up the black ramp at the end of Anything Goes, and Willie slips and breaks her neck.
5. Kao Kan actually shoots her after he's been impaled - he was never a fan of her singing and wasn't going down alone.
6. Indy and Shorty push her over the little ledge during the first Thuggee ceremony - if she hasn't died from the fall, the Thuggee will soon finish her off.
7. During the ski-jump on the mine tracks, Indy doesn't push her head down. So basically she dies mid-scream.
8. Shorty doesn't translate Indy's command, so Willie goes flying off the bridge once it's cut.
9. Captain Blumbertt was still pissed that she ignored him at dinner, so he chucks her off the cliff.
10. Indy, Shorty and the rest of the gang at the alter just watch the Willie's cage go down. That one was also easy.:whip:
 

DaFedora

New member
While Indy hurriedly moves another lever to lower the cage when he's fire-shocked out of trance, Willie wrestles with 2 thugges trying to keep her in place. Indy throws hot coals in the Thuggee's faces and they lose balance and fall in the pit. One of them tries to grab Willie and pulls at her skirt end and she almost joins them but now she's kinda depantsed.

Then, Zalim the young Maharadjah gets up and stings Willie's voodoo puppet in the but, causing her to scream in agony and grab her ass. Indy throws her a shovel for defensive means but she fails to notice, it hits her in the stomach and she trips into the volcanic pit .

Another:
During the mine car chase Indy and Short Round get jettisonned out of the cart as a large crane lever swings down accidentally. Indy yells Willie to hit the brakes... the brake brakes and she runs down a sidetrack tunnel filled with TNT :gun:
 

Palaceslave_82

New member
I love Willie,but if I didn't,here are a few suitable demises:

Willie goes for the diamond during the nightclub melee; a fat Chinese woman (presumably the one she kicked in the script) also spots the gem and throws herself on the singer's back ass-first,crushing her flat. The woman's heeled shoe jams down Willie's throat,choking her as the last of her air leaves her body through her broken ribs and the hefty woman collects her sparkling prize.

Shorty is tired of Willie's constant complaining, and jealous of the attention Indy is devoting to her; with a gentle nudge,he urges his baby elephant to forge ahead and bump into Willie's,spilling her to the ground,where she is smashed to a pulp underfoot. The elephant requires little in the way of convincing.

Zalim Singh is terribly insulted by Willie's dinnertime theatrics,and orders her executed, (a dip with the crocodiles sounds fair).

While walking barefoot toward Pankot Palace,Willie stumbles on a pebble and does a face-plant,cracking her skull on the courtyard stone. Unbeknownst to Indy,a couple of Kali devotees rush to capture the American hussy's streaming blood in a chalice, to pamper their dark mistress during a later ritual.

With the mine cart careening wildly along the tracks, Indy declares, "There's too much weight-one of us has to go!" After a moment of considering,he decides that he is the adventurer whose name is even in the title,("Its not like the #$@%ing movie is called 'Willie Scott and the Temple of Doom"),and the death of a kid will earn an R rating at best,plus remove a required multi-cultural stereotype from the film. With a bump and a shriek,Willie eats track,her body upending the last of the Thuggee carts.
 
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