My Indy 4 script.

Ayrun

Moderator Emeritus
Great? :)

But I find it a pity though, that there will not be any "magical spiritual occurrences".
I mean? you bring back a lot of the previous characters ( maybe a bit to many ) to link it with all the other films.. but why leave the magic out?
 

Joe Brody

Well-known member
Jokingly -- maybe it's a magical occurence to take a wrong turn into a major Soviet miliary parade. Have you ever seen the photos of the crowds around Red Square for one of those May Day like Parades?

Seriously though Gear01, great stuff. I really enjoy reading it.
 

gear01

New member
Escape From Moscow Part II

Indy leans out the window and looks back behind the truck, all he can see is armored tanks thundering down all around them, ?Dad what ever you do, don?t stop!?
The street lined crowds collectively gasp as the lowly garbage truck joins the procession. Stalin now spots this abomination meandering through the ranks of his mighty army. The generals at his side appear as if nothing is wrong, and hope that Stalin won?t notice for great fear of invoking his wrath. But Stalin?s blood is beginning to boil as he starts pounding the podium in front of him. Stalin yells down to an officer mounted on horseback twenty feet below at street level. The order is clear, ?Arrest those imbeciles.?
The mounted officer gallops out into the parade and into the columns of slow moving tanks. He quickly catches the garbage truck as Henry drives in complete sync with the tanks. Henry and Indy have a stoic look about them, as if perfectly natural to be part of the ceremony. The officer screams to Henry and motions him out of the parade. Henry cups his hand to his ear as if he can?t hear a word the officer is saying. At that, the officer un-holsters his side arm and raises it toward Henry. ?Dad, step on it!? Indy stomps down on Henry?s foot causing the truck to lurch forward in a great burst of speed. Henry is now weaving in and out of the tanks with the rider in hot pursuit firing his automatic pistol; One tank commander in seeing this, gives the order and the forward machine guns are brought to bear onto the garbage truck. A short burst of hot lead sends garbage and sludge spraying out from the back of the truck. ?Dad you better lose these guys!? Indy grabs the steering wheel and spins it loose from Henry?s grip just as more shots are fired. The truck squeals around in a fast turn nearly dumping its cargo. The officer on horse momentarily looses sight of the truck, which is now traveling the opposite direction and head first into the columns of tanks. The rider quickly pursues the truck, which is now on fire and choking the air with a plume of thick black smoke. Henry yells out ?We?ve been hit!? and is frantically steering to avoid oncoming tanks. More tanks open fire with their forward machine guns but can?t seem to hit the truck which is now driving in big circles around them. Instead the bullets are bouncing off other tanks and a few are heard whizzing over Stalin?s head; he ducks for cover. As Henry circles, he and Indy desperately look for a way out of the parade route. The only thing working to their advantage is the huge volume of smoke filling the air.
They seem to have reached the trailing end of the tank column when Henry hits the brakes hard and they skid to a stop.
As far as one can see, hundreds of Russian soldiers now stand in formation directly in front of them. The moment of standoff is short lived when a sergeant blows his whistle and the troupes scramble to load their rifles. Indy leans out the truck door to see if they would have better chances going back through the smoke. Just then the horse gallops to a halt and the officer points his sidearm at Indy. Indy jumps from the truck as the bullet hits the open door shattering the glass. Indy storms the rider and pulls him hard to the ground. The troupes start to engage but choking smoke is blowing in their faces. Indy mounts the horse and yells, ?Dad, get out of there.?
Henry grinds the shifter into reverse and guns it. The soldiers fire haphazardly into the smoke.
The tanks have all ground to a halt because of poor visibility and the crowds growing unease. Police are scrambling to hold the spectator?s lines. Henry in reverse goes flying by a parked tank and the opened passenger door is ripped off.
In parallel and a couple of rows over, Indy is galloping slightly ahead of the slower moving garbage truck still traveling in reverse. Indy overtakes the last line of tanks and contemplates his next obstacle, a slow moving line of fifteen motorcycles side by side each with a tall flagpole and a red Soviet flag furrowing behind. Indy trots up to the motorcycles intent on passing through, but each time he tries, the riders swerve to cut his path and the flags are spooking the horse. Indy looks back to see Henry?s burning garbage truck emerge from the smoke filled columns of tanks. The bed of the truck is engulfed in flames now and Henry has no clue where he is headed. The smug motorcycle rider smirks back at Indy just in time to see the flaming mass hurtling from behind. The riders quickly part to make way for the truck, but do it so abruptly that their front wheels turn and collide with the next motorcycle over. The two motorcycles wreck and their awkward flagpoles cause a domino effect toppling every last rider. The flaming heap whizzes past Indy and breaches the line of motorcycles.
Henry tries to spin the truck around but at this point he?s nothing more than a flaming comet. The crowd leaps out of the way as Henry buries the burning heap into some bleachers. The sudden jolt sends all the burning debris into the stands, which quickly catches on fire and spreads to a building sized portrait of Stalin.
People disperse into the streets in total pandemonium. Henry flees the burning wreck and disappears into the moving crowd. Indy gallops past and tries to turn back but the fleeing crowds are pushing and spooking the horse. Some of the armed troupes have just emerged through the tank columns and are making their way over the motorcycle heap.
Indy on horseback is a clear target and a handful of soldiers have spotted him. Indy spins the horse around to bolt and looks forward just in time to steer clear of a parked mobile missile launcher. He gallops up between the column of launchers continuing to look back over his shoulder to where Henry was last seen, ?Come on Dad, come on.? Just then a couple of warning shots crack above Indy?s head, he looks forward and his path through the column of missile launchers is blocked by soldiers brandishing machine guns. Indy slows and looks behind to see troupes closing in from the rear. He?s completely boxed. Indy guides the horse along side the missile launcher and climbs up the side. The troupes close in. Indy leaps over two missiles mounted to the top of the launch vehicle and then jumps to the platform of another vehicle parked along side; then he hops to the next. It?s a cat and mouse chase when one soldier in frustration fires a short burst toward Indy that peppers the side of a missile. Liquid oxygen steams out as the adjacent soldiers run for cover for fear of an explosion. A comrade slaps the ?trigger happy? soldier across the back of his head and the order goes out, ?NO SHOOTING!?
Indy is now trapped atop one of the missile launchers as troupes climb up from all sides. Indy punches one in the jaw and the soldier tumbles down the side flailing his arms and grasps a red handle to break his fail. Suddenly the missile platform lurches upward. Indy loses his footing and falls off the back. A couple of soldiers break his fall and Indy hobbles around the side of the vehicle. The soldier he punched seconds early is lying on the ground and grabs Indy?s legs as he moves by. The soldier yells out in Russian, ?I got him!? Indy struggles as another soldier runs up and proceeds to rifle butt Indy in the face. Indy ducks and the butt of the rifle whizzes by his face and cracks into the missile launch control panel. Just then a loud blast ignites the air and missile #1 goes screaming off the mobile launcher. The soldiers immediately behind the vehicle are toasted. Two hundred yards away and across the Red Square the onion shaped dome spire of Saint Basil Cathedral is blown to smithereens. The remaining onlookers gasp in horror as burning debris rains down. The soldier responsible for the missile firing is frozen motionless. Indy grabs the automatic rifle from his hand and runs away. He climbs the service ladder on another vehicle in hopes of spotting Henry in the crowd. People are everywhere in total chaos. Just then Henry yells out, ?Junior? and Indy spots a lone motorcycle making its way up through the crowd but too far away to reach, no worries, just then a large Soviet Flag hoisted over the heads of at least fifty students crosses by as they are swept away by the crowd. Indy makes his way across the top of another abandoned vehicle and steps out unto the moving flag as it cruises by. He crosses the floating carpet of red and reaches the other side just as Henry?s commandeered motorcycle rolls by. Indy leaps down and saddles the back of the bike. ?Junior, nice of you to drop in.? The two glide through the sea of people and funnel into an adjacent street, which leads directly to the river. They ditch the bike and proceed out onto a low causeway just a few feet above a passing coal barge. They jump and the slow moving mountain of coal breaks their fall. They roll and slide and are completely covered in black soot, all the better to blend in as they slowly sail west.

[Edited by gear01 on 01-22-2004 at 12:00 am]
 

Joe Brody

Well-known member
Gear01, more great stuff.

One suggestion though, I was never in a military parade where live ammo was issued or was anywhere near at hand. . . . .and I assume that would have been the case in Soviet Russia. The last thing any army wants in a Parade-type situation is for some conscript to go crazy and unload into a crowd. For a parade, I stuffed socks in my ammo pouches. The only soldiers that I could see with live Ammo would be Military Police. I'm sure that the other vets on this board like MP3 or Cain/Venture can weigh in on this subject with more authority than me.

With respect to your scene, I don't think this is a problem -- but rather a strength that could be worked into your story. For example, you could add an exchange between Henry and Indy where Henry, who upon realizing that he's surrounded by countless seemingly armed soilders, starts to stop the truck with the intention of giving up. Indy freaks out, leans over and puts his foot on the gas and asks Henry "Are you crazy? We can't stop."

Henry responds, "But we'll be shot. We have to surrender."

Indy smirks, "It's a Parade Dad. None of those soldiers will have ammo . . . ."

. . . .and then the MP's or someone opens fire. . . .



[Edited by Joe Brody on 01-22-2004 at 09:32 am]
 

monkey

Guest
Push the "I believe" button

JB,
You make a good point about the paraders probably not having live ammo. However, that's part of the suspended belief of fiction. You just have to push your "I believe" button. It's located right next to your popcorn bowl.

The movie going audience would have absolutely no problem with the loaded weapons, they wouldn't even think twice. Besides, this is Stalin's Red Army....you can't be too sure about those guys.

All three of the Indiana Jones movies have lots of suspended belief sequences. Compared to a lot of them, loaded weapons in a parade is minor.
 

Joe Brody

Well-known member
monkey,

I totally agree with you about the suspended belief sequences and their important role in the IJ films -- it's a great part of the franchise's appeal.

The purpose of the dialogue I suggested is to signal to the audience that the filmmakers know that what is happening (and about to happen) onscreen doesn't necessarilty conform with reality. Packaged as a fleeting joke (Indy, relying on convential wisdom, assumes no one will have ammo) at the beginning of the sequence, it's easier for the audience to absorb everything that happens after that. Note, I closed the proposed exchange by stating ". . .and then the MP's or someone opens fire. . . . " gear01 can have the rest of the scene unfold as written with rifles and machine guns ablazing. I note that I wasn't very clear in my earlier post.

However, I have to disagree with you when you talk about the marchers in Stalin's Red Army. These grunts were all conscripts and I'll bet my last dollar that old paranoid Joe Stalin -- given Russia's history of peasant revolt and assasinations -- wouldn't take a chance of being in the effective range of the marchers's weapons if the marchers had live ammo. You may recall that this is exactly how Anwar Sadat met his maker. But again, I don't think this history is a fatal deterrent (sp?) to a funny and effective scene.



[Edited by Joe Brody on 01-22-2004 at 03:40 pm]
 

monkey

Guest
Point well taken JB. And I like your idea of IJ saying the "Don't worry Dad their weapons aren't loaded" kind of line, and then having the rest of the scene unfold.

I get what you mean. Good idea. Maybe G01 will consider it.

I just hope that GL takes a look at this script. I don't know what Darabont is doing, but I don't know if it can top G01's script.
 

Joe Brody

Well-known member
I wish gear01 all the best as well and I hope he gets his shot. As for Darabont all I know is that Shawshank is a damn fine movie and I have a lot of faith in his work.

. . . and thank you for keeping me straight -- I love this kinda stuff and I wish we had more of it going on here.

What are the odds we get another excerpt?
 

gear01

New member
Live Ammo?

First of all, thanks for the positive feedback and suggestions. The question was raised as to whether the Soviet Army would parade with live ammo. I actually thought about this while writing but could not find much info on the particulars of those parades. I?m sure someone knows but for the sake of keeping the action flowing I just took that artistic liberty. The soldiers could just as easily mount their bayonets or just storm the truck with shear numbers. As to whether I?ll post more of the story, I may post one more action scene that I eluded too in an earlier post.

I sincerely appreciate the feedback.
Thanks
-Gear01
 

monkey

Guest
Hey G01, been reading the news? Looks like the chances for your script just got a whole lot better.
 

Pier 1981

New member
Hi Gear01, congratulations for your fine work.

I've got a question for you: I read in the previous posts that u consider this the final draft of your script, but I attended a screenwriting course and I know that the form of a script is really different from the one of a novel...maybe I misunderstood and the excerpts u published here are a part of the "treatment"?

Bye!
 

gear01

New member
A small glimmer of hope.

Thanks Monkey,
I?ve been following the recent events closely and I must say there may be a glimmer of hope for my script. Anyone who has tried to get a screenplay sold will know how the odds are stacked against them. It doesn?t matter if you have the best Indy story out there, which I think I do, if no agent will even crack open the first page, the idea will never be realized. When you try to deal with people at the level of Spielberg and Lucas, you can?t just walk in and hand them a script. You can?t mail it in; it just comes back with a nasty letter from their attorney. The only shot is if you know somebody who?s connected with the actor or producer etc., or you have an agent solicit your material. Unfortunately I?m enduring the agent route and so far after finding two agents willing to accept my script neither one has even read it yet, and this is after two months! I?m hoping that with the latest news they will finally get motivated.

To all the people who have read the portion of story I posted, thanks, I hope you can all visualize how exciting and fun that scene would be on the big screen. I sincerely hope someone involved in the current Indy IV production would see that potential and believe me when I say, there?s plenty more where that came from.

Thanks again,
gear01


To answer Pier 1981?s question, I chose not to post excerpts in screenplay format just to save space on this forum. My finished script was written in Final Draft.
 

Tennessee R

New member
Wow, Gear01, This is the first time I've read this thread, and now I'm glad! This is great! Those exerpts you posted are absolutely wonderful. I love the way you keep the flow going with Henry and Indy. It makes me wish I was a prducer, or director, or someone who could get your script made into a movie.
Great work. Wish you could put the whole thing on a post, and more! The trouble with the Darabont script may be you answer.
Your stuff is great!
 

andywalktalk

New member
heres my ideas

in response to the guy who's dillusional,habouring any hopes that his script will be made into indy 4 i pitty you. I dont mean to be nasty bout this but as someone else said you have a 0% chance of this happening and your childish stance "i have some really good ideas but i cant share them" makes me laugh.

Anyway heres some ideas of my own, steal at will and give us some feedback as to whether you think there any good or a load of s***e.

the paramount pictures logo should be used in a transition with a broken head stone, in a gothic graveyard(pere lachaise for example)where marcus brodys funeral is taking place.

We should first see indy as a silhoute from the lowered coffins point of view standing over the grave, when we eventually see indys face he should have tears in his eyes.

i also think natalie portman should play the role of his daughter, but one who he doesnt know about, (marion kept it a secret or somthing) she pays him a lot of attention during lectures, but indys thinks shes attracted to him even tho he's now an old man

snakes, bugs, rats, piranahs? i have no idea for this one

Sallah? i love the charactor but this is indiana jones not indy and friends and no charactor thus far has appeared more than twice. (correct me if im wrong?) therefore a name check maybe in order but im not sure about an appearance.

Indy should die! i know what your thinking sacralidge but i believe its the only way to book end the franchise. i hate bond films because i know exactly whats goin to happen and there unbelievably tacky (by the way im brittish). Also people will say this doesnt fit in with young indy? i dont care young indy has nothing to do with the feature films as far as im concerned. And in my mind only 2 people are indiana jones Harrison Ford and River Phoenix and if the latter where alive now i feel we'd be seeing or have seen 3 more indy features. I do like the idea of him walking off into the jungle (ala raiders) however but only if we know he aint coming back. Maybe he places his hat on natalie portmans head in the final scene before he walks off (he's not lost it in the past)to do somthing heroic and ths signifies his death.

i think the only way this film will be better than the others is if its unique dont get me wrong i wanna see the recuring features as well but im hoping this film will be something special.
 

gear01

New member
Then call me dillusional.

______________________________________________
andywalktalk wrote:

in response to the guy who's dillusional,habouring any hopes that his script will be made into indy 4 i pitty you. I dont mean to be nasty bout this but as someone else said you have a 0% chance of this happening and your childish stance "i have some really good ideas but i cant share them" makes me laugh.
______________________________________________


Hello Andywalktalk,
Maybe I'm "delusional" because in the country where I live, there is still hope for the little guy. Because this land was built on the ideals that if someone had the right idea and was persistent enough, they would ultimately prevail.
My childish stance for not posting the plot of my story is a sound business reason that I explained early on. I feel that the scenes I posted are evidence of my creative abilities. I'm sure you would also consider George Lucas childish for not posting the episode III script on his website or even Frank Darabont for not sharing "his" screenplay with all of us here.

-gear01
 

andywalktalk

New member
Yeah all brits could be deamed pesimists or should that be realists?

I bet you had your hand on your heart and where singing your national anthem after that first paragraph.
Sorry, im thinking of the american stereotype and i bet you think your talking to hugh grant.

Didnt mean to offend you, i have no problem with you harbouring these thoughts, im a dreamer myself and i do sincerly hope you've enjoyed writing your screenplay, or at least make some money by it. I just think in this case its never going to get made.

Correct me if im wrong, your not paul Schrader or francis ford coppola are you? Coz if so youd have a realistic chance of getting your screenplay noticed by lucas etc, Its not what you know, its who you know in this buisness. I therfore do not consider proven proffesionals who's work at the moment is going to be Indy 4, childish for not posting there screenplays.

As far as your creative abilities go, there not bad, but you give off the impression that you have a bit of an ego problem in your belief in them. Im currently in my last year of a film production degree and have done my share of creative writing, so i have an fair idea of what im talkin about. This doesnt mean to say im going to write in a version of a jones scene so we can flop our todgers out and measure up.

Im also all for the little man prevailing, it does happen a fair bit in your country, military intellegence seems to be a big recruiter. Heres an example: You got a gun ho pilot, with a name like, 'Lance Powers' just dying to unload his tank busting machine guns, and im sure by the amount of allied troops your boys have killed over the years, the order he gets from his superiors is "Just shoot anything that moves Lance".
Anyway enough politics before i start on your president.


enjoyed the banter
 

monkey

Guest
Hey Andy,
I detect a bit of anti-americanism there, but I won't hold it against you, I like Brits. But that's enough politics.

I want to know about flopping my Todger out? And when measuring do we use the metric system?

You guys have got some great words......

I'm trying to think of a way to use that in one of my Indiana Jones stories.....I don't know though, might be difficult.

But a lot of what you say is right on the money. It's too bad but it does seem to come down to who you know doesn't it.

But Gear01 has some good ideas, and I admire his efforts and I like what I've read from his script.
 

Pale Horse

Moderator
Staff member
monkey said:

But a lot of what you say is right on the money. It's too bad but it does seem to come down to who you know doesn't it.

But Gear01 has some good ideas, and I admire his efforts and I like what I've read from his script.

Andy certainly critiques like a writer, that's for sure. I can say from my own personal expirence, it isn't who you know, it's how you pitch. From the recptionest to the hairdresser, if you meet someone here in Hollywood, how you direct the conversation can mean everything. You don't have to have a cousin who is a production assistant for most sports themed films (As I have), you have to sell yourself and your idea to each person you meet.
 
Top