Gypsy's Kiss

hffan2000

New member
just wanted to send a shout out to monkey. i love the gypsy's kiss adventure and can't wait to see what happens next. keep up the good writting buddy :)
 

Tennessee R

New member
Me Too!!!!!!
I love the detail you put into it.
Not enough people write heavy, lots of details, anymore, like Jules Verne.
Great story!
 

monkey

Guest
Thanks so much Hffan and Tennessee. Your kind words are very much appreciated, and are an inspiration.
 

Finn

Moderator
Staff member
That text is some quality reading. Maybe little too rich in description and turn of events to actually fit in a novel... but perfect for an adventure serial. Keep it up Monkey Man.
 

Tennessee R

New member
Yes, it is "a little too rich in description and turn of events to actually fit in a... modern day novel, but that's exactly the way I like it.

Please try to end chapters with less suspense, or I might go wild. :D
 

Katarn07

New member
Tennessee R said:
Please try to end chapters with less suspense, or I might go wild. :D

Yeah, when do you expect it to be done? I'll read it all through then. I stopped after the 'Rats' chapter because the suspense was killing me! :p
 

monkey

Guest
Well Matthias, if I told you that.......where would the suspense be????

No actually I think today chapter 38 posted, so at 3 chapters per week there is about 5 weeks left.

Thanks again for your great feedback!!

Jules Verne??? Have I been compared to one of my all time heroes, and one of the greatest writers ever????

Pinch me.

No actually you need to stick a pin in my head...to deflate it.

You made my day Tennessee!!!

Thanks.

And thanks Finn for your feedback. I very much appreciate it.

Hope you all like the rest of the story.
 

Canyon

Well-known member
I would just like to say that Monkey, as always, has done an exceptional job with Gypsy's Kiss, and it's an absolute joy to read.

Monkey, you rock! :D

Kind regards




Canyon
 

Tennessee R

New member
You're welcome, Monkey, (Jules Verne is high on the list of favorites for me, too) but seriously, though, you can be compared to some of his works, and I think you need to begin on another book as soon as you get through with this one. (Not giving you a brake, am I? :D )

Great work.
 

Finn

Moderator
Staff member
There is something about Indy I like to point out that has bothered me in fact. Monkey, you seem to show Indy's knowledge about German language quite minor, as I have, after mingling with all kinds of other IJ fiction, learned that Indy does know quite a deal of German (I might be off the marker here, but I even recall McGregor stating out Indy being "nearly fluent").

But since there appears to be no official word in this, so in that case if your Indiana Jones does not know much of this language, it's really not a nuisance that big... if at all, knowing that different authors may handle the same character in quite a separate ways. So if your Indiana Jones does not know much of German, then he doesn't.

*Pulls out a dart and throws it towards Monkey man's head.*
Nice writing, amigo. Not quite professional level, but work of a very skilled amateur nevertheless.
 
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monkey

Guest
Yeah, you're absolutely right about Indiana Jones' knowledge of German. I goofed there. Somebody else pointed that out to me earlier as well.

Whoops.

Oh well, even "Raiders" had that scene where you could see the cobra's relflection in the protective glass. If Spielberg can screw up a little bit, then so can I.

But it demonstrates one of the pitfalls of writing an Indy fiction work. The character is not 100% mine. There is a pre-existing BIO, and you've got to do your homework. In this case I didn't.

Well, I guess when George Lucas contacts me and offers me a seven figure contract to write three more Indiana Jones fictions over the next year.......I'll go back and correct that error in Gypsy's Kiss.

"Wake up Monkey!!! Wake up!!"






"What happened?"

"You fell asleep at your computer. Your nose was pressing down the space bar. You were having some kind of a ....dream."
 

hffan2000

New member
Monkey,
i have a small question regarding a character in gypsy's kiss. is the john allenby featured in that story the same allenby featured in the film lawrence of arabia?
 

monkey

Guest
No, no connection there at all. Coincidence.

I have varied ways of coming up with some of the fictional names in my writing.

For this particular character I just wanted a kind of distinguished, very British sounding name.

If I'm not mistaken Allenby was the name of a famous British General in World War Two. Since I am very much a World War Two history buff, that name was kicking around in one of my brain cells somewhere.
 

Finn

Moderator
Staff member
I noticed something too I'd like to ask if it's an intentional easter egg, or just a close call.

The Nazi guard in the train. Could he be the same dope Captain Miller's unit meets in <i>Saving Private Ryan</i>? And even if he isn't, I'm pretty sure you at least picked "Betty Boop" from there.

You see, it's little things like that a person with knowledge of various fiction craves for.
 

monkey

Guest
Finn, you nailed that one!

Yes, I stole....er, borrowed that "Betty Boop" line right out of Private Ryan.
 

Joe Brody

Well-known member
Betty Boop -- nice gams . . . .

[It's Friday and I couldn't resist.]

Monkey,

I confess that I haven't kept up -- will a single/central file ever be made available? I really enjoyed the first few installments and just haven't had a chance to keep up.
 

monkey

Guest
...."nice gams"... I forgot that part of the line, shoot, now I've got to go back and edit that chapter.

Hey no problem Joe. I'm just glad you're interested in the story.

Actually I think it would probably read better if you get to pick it up and put it down when you want to, instead of the 3 chapters per week. So if you want, you can just wait until it's all done, which should be about a month from now, and then read it straight through.

It reads better on paper than a computer screen too. So if you work somewhere where you can clandestinely waste reams of paper after hours (like I used to do where I used to work {no, I wasn't fired}) you can print out a hard copy.

But seriously, thanks for your interest, thanks for everyone's interest in Gypsy's Kiss. I appreciate it.

It's been a labor of love. I wrote it for the Indy community. I disabused myself (is that something dirty?) long ago of the notion that George Lucas was going to publish my Indy novel(s). The hard reality is that if and when George Lucas wants to publish any more Indiana Jones fiction he will simply find an established writer, write him a check with a bunch of zeros on it, and tell him what to write.

Writing Gypsy's Kiss was a chance for me to experience a little adventure, and live my life vicariously through the exploits of the greatest Action Adventure Hero of all time.

I hope you guys do the same by reading it.

Thanks.
 

Finn

Moderator
Staff member
Monkey man, there is something I'd like you to answer, this time it's not directly associated to the story at hand, but writing in general... and you appear to be a type who might give an interesting answer.

It's about the response to feedback and "writer's ethics". It appears to be that if you ask for comments on your works for example in a place like this, I don't know if it's the general athmosphere or what, but they tend to be positive, even praising for most of the time. Now, what do you think an author should reply if there happens to be something inbetween that criticizes or says something negative (and I don't mean any "man you suck" -comments here, those are to be left alone in all cases) his or her works? I don't know if all the praising comments cause an author's head to "inflate" or what, but some of them tend to get really divaic about critique and tell the responser that it his or her works, and there is no critizising one's artistic decision.

Now, how does this go with you? Do you appreciate negative points of view... since they more likely tend to tell you how to pick up your skills in writing even more than positive feedback does. And what do you think an author should response in common if there happens to be any comments that are all the way civilized, but off the positive line of feedback?
 

monkey

Guest
Finn, to be honest I appreciate the negative feedback just as much as the positive, for exactly the reasons that you put forth.

First off, I don't have an ego. I'm not a 'tempermental artist', I am by nature a humble guy.

I don't think Gypsy's Kiss is great by any stretch. I don't think I'm a great writer. I don't even think I'm a writer at all, though I have some aspirations to be one.

However, I think Gypsy's Kiss is a pretty darned good little story by a non-writer, and it thrills me that some people enjoy reading it. Kind of like when I used to play in a garage band, and the other neighborhood kids would come around and listen, and tell us we sounded great. That's a nice feeling. Were we great? No, but we were good.

But I know that not only is Gypsy's Kiss not up to professional level, it has huge faults with mechanics, and scene shifts, and pace, and dialogue.....and I could go on and on.

I know all of that. That's why I would welcome any comments concerning its faults just as much as I appreciate the positive.

In fact, when it is completed I was planning to find some literature grad student somewhere, and pay him or her to read it through and red line it for me.

For me Gypsy's Kiss was an excersize in writing a novel. But I don't think I'll write another Indy novel. Indiana Jones is great, but he's not mine, and there is no future in Indy fiction. I have ideas of my own for novels with my own characters.

So don't worry, the Monkey's head is not going to swell from the positive comments, and he's not going to turn into a gorilla if there's negative feedback.
 

Finn

Moderator
Staff member
monkey said:
In fact, when it is completed I was planning to find some literature grad student somewhere, and pay him or her to read it through and red line it for me.
Now, I've actually had a few courses of that... so if I can be of any assistance, I'm glad to help. Of course I'm far from a pro and you can probably dig out even better than me with little effort, but I can give you some preliminary feedback... and besides, I'm cheap (read: I'll do it for free, mate).

And if you ask for my credentials... just check out the last question by me and ask yourself if just a regular redneck would have asked something like that.
 
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