Indiana Jones facts

ROB98374

Active member
I found this list of Indiana Jones facts. If anyone has heard of any other ones, feel free to add them to this list.

1. Indiana Jones can divide by zero


2. Indiana Jones doesn?t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.


3. Indiana Jones knows the last digit of pi.


4. They once made a Indiana Jones toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn't take crap from anybody.


5. Indiana Jones played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.


6. Indiana Jones ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.


7. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Indiana Jones allows to live.


8. Google won't search for Indiana Jones because it knows you don't find Indiana Jones, he finds you.


9. Indiana Jones once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.


10. The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Indiana Jones. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.


11. If you spell Indiana Jones in Scrabble, you win. Forever.


12. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Indiana Jones.


13. Indiana Jones is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.


14. According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Indiana Jones can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.


15. Indiana Jones sleeps with a pillow under his gun.


16. Indiana Jones has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.


17. When Indiana Jones does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.


18. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Indiana Jones could use to kill you, including the room itself.


19. Indiana Jones doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.


20. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Indiana Jones.


21. Indiana Jones invented black. In fact he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.


22. It takes Indiana Jones 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.


23. When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Indiana Jones.


24. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Indiana Jones.


25. Indiana Jones CAN believe it's not butter.


26. Indiana Jones never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.


27. Human cloning is outlawed because if Indiana Jones were cloned, then it would be possible for an Indiana Jones roundhouse kick to meet another Indiana Jones roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.


28. Indiana Jones uses a night light. Not because Indiana Jones is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Indiana Jones.


29. Indiana Jones does not sleep. He waits.


30. When Indiana Jones plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.


31. Indiana Jones' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.


32. Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Indiana Jones is on.


33. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Indiana Jones has allowed to live.


34. When Indiana Jones wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.


35. Indiana Jones played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.


36. Indiana Jones crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.


37. Indiana Jones once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Indiana Jones re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.


38. Indiana Jones once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"


39. Everybody loves Raymond. Except Indiana Jones.


40. Chuck Norris is only afraid of one thing. Indiana Jones.
 

Dr.Jonesy

Well-known member
If Indiana Jones is late, time better slow down.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Indiana Jones has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

Indiana Jones was once in a knife fight. The knife lost.

Indiana Jones doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

Indiana Jones is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Indiana Jones.

Indiana Jones counted to infinity. Twice.

Indiana Jones got a blow up doll pregnant.

Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Indiana Jones while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.

Indiana Jones once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.

Indiana Jones does not plan. He makes it up as he goes.

Indiana Jones isn't as human as the next man. The next man is as human as Indiana Jones.
 
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He doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he drinks Budweiser, he washes his hair with Dos Equis.

He's been known to cure narcolepsy by just walking into a room

His organ donation card also lists his beard

He's a lover not a fighter, but he's also a fighter so don't get any ideas

The police often question him, just because they find him interesting

His blood smells like cologne

People hang on his every word, even the prepositions

He could disarm you with his looks, or his hands...either way

He can speak French...in Russian

His reputation is expanding faster than the universe

He once had an awkward moment just to see how it feels

He lives vicariously through himself

His personality is so magnetic he is unable to cary credit cards

Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact number

He never says something tastes like chicken...not even chicken

His charm is so contagious, vaccines have been created for it

He is the only man to ever ace a Rorschach test.

Every time he goes for a swim, dolphins appear

Alien abductors have asked him to probe them

If he were to give you directions, you'd never get lost, and you'd arrive at least 5 minutes early

His legend precedes him, the way lightning precedes thunder
 

XanaduEli

Member
Indiana Jones can cut the cord on a cordless phone:D

the satellite navigator doesn't tell Indiana Jones where to go, he tells it where to go
 
Indiana Jones, he has God on his side, LITERALLY, if you doubt it he can have his dad slap you for blashemy.
 
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ROB98374

Active member
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Indiana Jones out. It failed miserably.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Indiana Jones.(y)
 

michael

Well-known member
My favorite one of all time:

Chuck Norris (err...Indiana Jones ;)) once ate a whole birthday cake before his buddies could tell him that two strippers were inside.
 
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