YAY!!!
The following has been copypasta'd...
"The final book in the series, and much more important than any other. This is because at least 100 characters died in this book, increasing the lulz potential tenfold. Naturally, spoilers were released days before the global release, and the trolls came out from their mothers' basements in full force to ruin everyone's fun. Here are those spoilers now, representing the ruination of Potterfags worldwide:
* Voldemort kills Burbage on pg. 12
* Hedwig gets fursecuted by an unnamed Death Eater on pg. 56
* George Weasley loses an ear
* Mad-Eye is shot in the face with a killing curse and falls off his broom, confirmed dead on pg. 78
* Ron cockblocks Harry on page 99.
* Scrimgeour is confirmed dead on pg. 159
* Wormtail becomes an hero when his own silver hand chokes him to death on pg. 471
* Ted Tonks (father of Nymphadora Tonks) dies
* Dobby gets shanked on pg. 476
* Snape gets bitten on the neck by Nagini, dies on pg. 658. Turns out he was good all along.
* Fred Weasley gets blown up, dies on pg. 637 (Percy cries like a *****)
* Harry is pwned by Voldemort on pg. 704
* Hangs out with Dumbledore, comes back to life on pg. 724
* Voldemort's own spell backfires on him (WHAT A ****ING NUB), unintentionally making him an hero on pg. 744
* Tonks, Lupin, and Colin Creevy have their deaths confirmed on pg. 745
* The Sword of Griffindor can destroy Horcruxes.
* Ron Destroys the Locket.
* Hufflepuff's cup was in Gringotts.
* Ravenclaw's Crown was in the Room of Requirement.
* HARRY WAS THE LAST HORCRUX OMFG!!!
* Neville cuts off Nagini's head.
* Tonks and Lupin have a son.
* Bill and Fleur have a daughter.
* Ron has married Hermione, their two children are named Rose and Hugo.
* Harry has married Ginny, their three children are named Lily, James, and Albus Severus.
* Draco Malfoy has a son named Scorpius
* The final lines are, "I looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air."
* Harry, a grossly fat middle-aged man who looks like Pruitt Taylor Vince, wakes in his cell at a psychiatric institution, discovering that the whole thing was only a dream, and begins to self-mutilate his forehead with a zig-zag cut."
My work here is done! Thank you and goodnight!
Oh, and don't get butthurt either.