here are a few I hope you like.
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This one might be a little on the line of PG-13, if it is to bad you have my permission to delete it Mods. I don't think it is any worse than the post by Shane. It is hilarious though.
One day a Wife and Mother of 2 was cooking dinner for her family. She was making Mashed potatoes when she accidentally spilt some bb's into them. Not wanting to start over she decided to leave the bb's in the potatoes.
So her family comes home and they sit down to eat. Everyone eats and compliments the mother on a job well done other than the potatoes were a little strange.
So a little while later while the mother was washing the dishes, her husband comes running to her and says "Wife, Wife I was in the bathroom when i pee'd a bb." The wife replied "It's ok, you will be fine"
So a little while later the daughter comes running to her mom "Mommy, Mommy i just pp'd a bb." Mom says "It's ok, you will be fine"
So a little while later the son comes running in and the mom says "wait let me guess, you pee'd a bb." The kid said "No, I was playin with myself and accidentally shot a bb and killed the cat"
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A blonde, a burnette, and a redhead escape from jail. The police are chasing them when the 3 convicts come upon 3 potatoe sacks. They decide to hide in them and when the police come, to make an animal noise.
So the police come up the the 1st bag containing the burnette and poke it. Bark Bark they hear and they go to the next one believing it was a dog. At the second one containing the red head they poke it and hear "Meow Meow". Believing it was a cat they go to the third bag containing the blonde. The police here a very strange sound from this bag. "POTATOE POTATOE"
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What is black and white and red all over.
A newspaper DUH!!!
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2 men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.
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Person 1 Knock Knock
Person 2 Who's there
Person 1 Interupting Cow
Person 2 Interupting......(Person 1) MOOOOOO!!!
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Sorry if the one is a bad. i found it hilarious.
Over and Out,
Kris"Indy_Jones88"