Mason Association: Part II

What!!?? :confused: That´s pretty, i dunno how to say it, pretty impossible, least probable, stupid affirmation (not trying to insult anyone), I think Indy IV wasn´t delayed just for pleasure, it was delayed because these guys have more work than just Indy (even though we would have liked they didnt) so you have to think that they are busy doing other movies and promos, and there was the script thingy too. :(
 

Pale Horse

Moderator
Staff member
Again, Deadlock is proving his worth as he stands at the edge of that black hole called my logic. The Knights Templars used the 33 different degrees in the ancient King making process. Each time a Knight was brought into the room, to "graduate" is you will, the room was adorned differently, depending on which "degree" was being conferred.

Luisiana, it's okay that much of this won't make sense to you. Many of the mysteries being discussed here are not what society would call "common knowledge". Joe can be quite the tongue-in-cheek man, but it takes time to undestand his humor. He is one of the better Jedi's participating in this thread.
 

Joe Brody

Well-known member
Deadlock said:
I don't get it. :confused:

In a traditional sense, purple is the color of royalty. In a Catholic sense, purple is the color of times of waiting (Advent and Lent). Joe, you're Pope/Lucas connection went right over my head... (and smacked into a bunch of Pale Horse's stuff that has also gone over my head.) :)

Palehorse is right. I wasn't trying for a direct link to the Pope (he wears white). I think Bishops wear purple and Cardinals wear red. I may wrong but I locked in on Palehorse using the word 'thread' and took it as a literal hint. Who wears purple? I could only come up with Bishops . . . that got me thinking Catholic and that let me to an absurd explanation for the delay in Indy IV.
 

Deadlock

New member
Okay, I'm still not getting the connection Pale Horse.

I don't think we're reading the same stuff about the Templars. I'm aware of some rumors that remnants of the Templars eventually founded the Freemasons. But I'm thinking that that is mostly unlikely as what was left of the Templars got absorbed into the Hospitallers (and the Order of Christ in Portugal and the Order of Montesa in Aragon). I also know that the validity of the "confessions" of the Templars are widely debated because of the use of torture.

However, barring a direct connection (Templars=Freemasons), I can see a certain similarity in the initiation rites of both organizations. But that's about it... I haven't come across any reference to Masonic symbol interpretation that I would put any stock in because it seems that the Mason's make it purposefully misleading (or perhaps there's no true meaning at all, and it's just interpreted on an as-needed basis). Pike says, "Masonry jealously conceals its secrets and intentionally leads conceited interpreters astray". [Morals and Dogma of the A. A. Scot. Rite of Freemasonry 5632 (1882)]

The principal advantages of this symbolism, which is not peculiar to Freemasonry but refers to the mysteries and doctrines of all ages and of all factors of civilization, are the following: (1) As it is adaptable to all possible opinions, doctrines, and tastes, it attracts the candidate and fascinates the initiated. (2) It preserves the unsectarian unity of Freemasonry in spite of profound differences in religion, race, national feeling, and individual tendencies. (3) It sums up the theoretical and practical wisdom of all ages and nations in a universally intelligible language. (4) It trains the Mason to consider existing institutions, religious, political, and social, as passing phases of human evolution and to discover by his own study the reforms to be realized in behalf of Masonic progress, and the means to realize them. (5) It teaches him to see in prevailing doctrines and dogmas merely subjective conceptions or changing symbols of a deeper universal truth in the sense of Masonic ideals. (6) It allows Freemasonry to conceal its real purposes from the profane and even from those among the initiated, who are unable to appreciate those aims, as Masonry intends.
 

Pale Horse

Moderator
Staff member
Deadlock said:
Okay, I'm still not getting the connection Pale Horse.

I don't think we're reading the same stuff about the Templars. ...

However, barring a direct connection (Templars=Freemasons), I can see a certain similarity in the initiation rites of both organizations. But that's about it... I haven't come across any reference to Masonic symbol interpretation that I would put any stock in because it seems that the Mason's make it purposefully misleading (or perhaps there's no true meaning at all, and it's just interpreted on an as-needed basis). Pike says, "Masonry jealously conceals its secrets and intentionally leads conceited interpreters astray". [Morals and Dogma of the A. A. Scot. Rite of Freemasonry 5632 (1882)]

...

I am suggesting that the artifacts that the trilogy has cinematicly produced can be tied to the ancient Rites of Passage needed to cofer a King. Each one can be tied to a different degree.

As far as Pike goes, he is a bete noire figurehead in the context of the Knights Templars. In fact, he is a bastion of destruction to the ancient Rituals. He even stated so himself in his book Morals and Dogma. As a result, Pike went about reforming the (more well known) rituals along with Reverand Whitaker to the more "Christian" demonstrations we find today.

That is not to say that I am not impressed. It appears that Deadlock has been joining Dr. Jones...in the library. :D :p

I too have been researching, and the Rituals and history that I am referring to can be traced much further back, to Sir Robert Moray in Newcastle in 1641, Abram Moses from Rhode Island in 1656, and William St. Clair (of the Rosslyn Chapel). Check out "Jacobite Scottish Degrees" next time your in a converted church. ;)

Who knows, maybe we'll bump elbows researching something else altogether.
 

Pale Horse

Moderator
Staff member
bob said:
Now I can believe and have suggested that there is something sinister in the establishment American figures in the Indy trilogy (Army intelligence guys, and even Donovan whose pursuit of the occult and Nazi links may not be confined to him) Now they could be part of a secret organisation.....

A new exhibit may shed some light on the "establishment American figures" bob speaks about here. Anyone close to THIS who could give us an update on what is there? Don't worry, no secret handshake needed.
 

Joe Brody

Well-known member
Pale Horse said:
A new exhibit may shed some light on the "establishment American figures" bob speaks about here. Anyone close to THIS who could give us an update on what is there? Don't worry, no secret handshake needed.

Palehorse

You truly have the initiated eye . . . .

Just missed it. I spent the weekend before last in DC with my wife for our 13th wedding anniversary -- I ran right by the Octagon while jogging. So between having just been there and having another wee one due first week of August, I don't know if I'll be able to make it to DC this summer but I'll certainly try. It looks like a great exhibit.

I checked out the site and noted there are a of lot lectures coming up -- you should see if they are being taped. It sounds really interested.

Apropos of another discussion, what kills me is that I suspect that there's great material in the exhibit that could have been used to make a film like National Treasure much, much more interesting. It breaks the heart . . .
 

ROTLA

New member
First, kudos to Pale Horse for - to use his words - stimulating the grey matter. (OT - who decided it was OK to spell it "grey" or "gray" and either was acceptable?!?) There's nothing wrong with the everyday posts, but it's always great to come across something that will not only be entertaining but also allow one to grow (whether it be mentally, ethically, creatively, whatever...).


Pale Horse said:
As much as people like to think that Indy is an independant archeologist, the truth is he is constantly pushed into/around/through all of his adventures. Sure he may tell Elsa "You like the way I do things" but the fact remains, he is the reluctant professor that would rather escape through the window, than deal with the responsibility of actually grading papers. He does not seem the type to seek out responsibility, he only satisfies it when he is forced into it. It makes him very similar to a pawn on a chess board.

I don't know if I see things that way. Yes, Indy does shirk the responsibility of grading papers and facing his students, but I don't think it's simply because he's hesitant to take the responsibility. Nor do I think he only acts when forced into it.

I think Indy bounces on the students because he's really just not an office/desk kind of guy. It just happens that it goes along with what he wants to do - be an archaeologist working in the field. But teaching is a means of funding his searches and staying in the academic loop. Similarly, I think Indy often takes responsibility when it comes to seeking artifacts. I don't think he was forced to go after the Cross of Coronado. He probably didn't need much persuasion in his attempt to recover the Idol. These are things which he did because of passion and desire. Sure, you can make the case that the others (Ark, Grail, Nurhachi, Sankara Stones) were the result of outside forces, but I think those are extreme cases for Indy. We just weren't shown the numerous other "adventures" he went on because they weren't entertaining and wouldn't make a good movie!!

As for Indy being a mason, I'm not sure it fits. While he definitely has his positive traits, I think it's safe to say he isn't the guy you want to go to for moral guidance. Perhaps he was once part of the freemasons, but I don't think their principles are the main factors influencing his decisions and actions.
 
Last edited:

ROTLA

New member
Pale Horse said:
btw, isn't interesting the choice of avatars by some of the more respected minds of this board...interesting
Deadlock said:
Here's my guess: with the exception of YOU Pale Horse, the "respected minds" at the Raven prefer avatars of morally ambiguous characters (or just straight up evil ones.

Perhaps - and this is just a random thought - it's because some of the deeper thinkers have come to the realization that there's an evil side to all of us, though it doesn't mean we're all evil.

Those who are truly evil just don't have the mental strength or desire to avoid the easy trip down the path to (forgive me) the Dark Side. It's probably human nature to take the easy way and the easy way is often that of sin and corruption. If you need money, is it easier to find a job and work for it or is it easier to smack an old lady in the head and swipe her purse? Of course, taking the dark path can ultimately be more work. Eventually the quick fix runs out and you need more. The cycle continues until you're constantly looking for the next score or the next high, whatever it may be. If you're deep enough into evil, you now have to avoid being caught (whether it be by your victims, the law, etc.). But these things aren't necessarily apparent to the person who initially gives in and falls victim to their evil impulses. In order to be "successful" in this type of lifestyle, it would seem one must be intelligent (though not strong-willed) and resilient. There may also be other elements which lead someone to make the choice to follow such a path.

Maybe the "more respected minds of this board" appreciate the depth and complexity of such people and, as such, become fans of those characters. They are intrigued by them. It's also possible that these same posters may see this as their opportunity to put forth their evil side in a non-harmful way, by simply using a face of evil as their avatar (or, in the case of those characters whose tendencies we do not truly know, the picture of someone possibly caught in the struggle between good and evil).

As for Pale Horse's avatar, perhaps Indiana symbolizes a desire to not be locked into one or the other. It would seem a dog has no true concept of what is right and wrong and, in turn, it can lead a "free" life of random choices, never locked into one way of acting.

OK, maybe that makes some sense. Then again, maybe I just had my ticket punched for membership in the least respected minds group.
 
Last edited:

roundshort

Active member
Am I the only person who sees Indy as an old west gun fighter. A quiet misunderstood figure who roams around from town to town looking for work. Not that a gunfighter enjoys being a gun fighter, but enjoys the fight, the thrill and most of all the challange.

Couldn't Indy just dig up dinosaur bones? No the main objects are (not the little side objects like the fertillity god or the Cross or Coranado) are major power objects, the wratih or God, the cup of Christ (hell could you imagine all the Nazis drinking that, well the Marines would have delt witht hem anyhow), and the stones witht he power to feed or strave a whole village (I admit the stones are a streach). Indy is in it for the fight, the cash and the adventure.

Lets not make him more than what he his. I really can't picture Indy being part of any tpe of organization, is he even a social person?

Well, hopefully G.L. and S.S. wont mess up Indy IV, Gray Davis if you are out there please, advise Steven very closely on this one, I for one will never forgive you . . .
 

Moedred

Administrator
Staff member
As a Freemason myself, I can tell you Deadlock's posts on the parallel thread are most accurate. Though I do know enough Catholic Masons. Most Christian denominations would probably discourage membership (some louder than others) because the lodge competes for one's time and philanthropy.

Here's a pretty good overview. The grand secret of Freemasons, as brother Benjamin Franklin once said, is that they have no secret at all. They may have a nice collection of old books though, if nothing like a local Ashburnham library. And they don't observe or test prospective members. They can't. Most local lodges will merely display on their sites the bumper sticker, Ask12B1.

Wish I'd found the thread sooner, but now that I'm here, I'll answer what I can. And that's Sir Moedred to you. ;)
 

Pale Horse

Moderator
Staff member
The reason I started stretching my brain on this many moons ago had to do with the Robert Lomas books I was reading. Have you had a chance to read them? If so, do you find thir research to be credible or fantastic?
 

Moedred

Administrator
Staff member
I've just read the summaries. I think the connection between the Knights Templar and York Rite Masonry is flimsy at best. The wearing of fezzes and other ornamental hats is a recent tradition. Morocco and Tunisia became westernized in the 19th century, which inspired the Shriners and others. The York Rite, like the Knights of Columbus, wear a feathered bicorne chapeau. Oh, I love the hats.

It's amusing Lomas is considered by some the model for Robert Langdon. Originally Dan Brown was going to make a trilogy, but now the series is indefinite. I think he was going to finish with something like Another Roadside Attraction, a final thumb in th eye to Christianity, but these last few years he's been wondering how far he could or should go.
 

ProfessorChaos

New member
I wonder if there is a connection, to a degree, between Indy and Freemasons.
For example: the Royal Masonic School for Girls in Rickmansworth, England was used in the filming of both Raiders of the Lost Ark and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. The use of a historically masonic location could have just been a coincidence, but it also could have been by design. It is very curious.

I think, with Indy 4, the Masonic connection to the artifacts becomes more possible than before it. Here is why, and truly this is an interesting theory:

1. The Ark of the Covenant
ark_covenant.gif

The Ark is the symbol for the Holy of Holies in the Temple of Solomon, and is probably one of the most sacred symbols in Freemasonry for that very reason.
(Masonic Symbol: The Ark of the Temple)

holiness.jpg


2. The Headpiece of Ra
pp-headpiece1.jpg

An emblem found in every well-furnished lodge, and which is unnecessary further to explain. Literally, this is the one symbol that speaks for itself.
It's origins can be traced to the ancient Egyptian Eye of Ra, or Eye of God.
(Masonic Symbol: The All-Seeing Eye)

1296030118mmy6.jpg


3. The Holy Grail
433373_f248.jpg

The importance of the Grail in Masonic tradition can be traced back to the Knights Templer, who were said to be guardians of the Holy Grail. It is often speculated that the Templars influenced early Freemasonry to some degree.
(Masonic Symbol: The Reverse Triangle a.k.a The Cup)

masonic_symbol.gif


4. The Crystal Skull
indy_alien.jpg

The Skull and Bones are used most famously during the initiation ceremony of certain masonic lodges to indicate where an initiate is to "die" prior to being reborn as a brother in the masonic order. It is a reminder of one's mortality.
(Masonic Symbol: The Skull and Bones)

1204209298445-479688434.jpeg


5. The Cross of Coronado
LC%20-%20M%20-%20Cross%20of%20Coronado.png

In the various Concordant Bodies of Freemasonry crosses are used as part of the regalia or symbolism. Different shaped crosses have different meanings.
(Masonic Symbol: The Cross and Crown)

croscrown2.gif


6. The Sankara Stones
pp-small-sank2-1.jpg

Three stones each with three lines upon them. What do three lines form?
A pyramid. How many lines are there in total? Nine. "If the number three was celebrated among the ancient sages, that of three times three had no less celebrity" according to a Masonic dictionary of symbols I've been reading.
What is the pyramid in Masonic symbolism made from? Stones, of course.
A three sided polygon, being the first enclosed shape possible with straight lines, the Triangle is important in Masonry due to its connection to the sacred number three and also because it has long represented the concept of the Deity in geometrical form. The Triangle and Pyramid are the same.
(Masonic Symbol: The Pyramid)

Masonic_Coin_Commemorative2.gif


7. The Urn of Nurhachi
TOD%20-%20M%20-%20Nurhachi%20Urn.png

In Freemasonry, the cinerary urn has been introduced as a symbol having reference to the burial of the Temple Builder, which is an important concept.
(Masonic Symbol: The Urn)

14urn.jpg


8. The Golden Idol
664.jpg

An allegorical symbol for the ideal Mason shows the Golden Sun with it's face. This is an important Masonic symbol which can be traced back to ancient Egypt according to some scholars. By itself the Golden Sun is a divine symbol.
Notice the Golden Idol-like image of one of the Master's Jewels shown below!
(Masonic Symbol: The Golden Sun)

Mason_Sun_Worshipper.gif


the_masters_jewel_1.jpg


Masonic Symbols in Indiana Jones and the Emperor's Tomb:

9. The Heart of the Dragon
There is a legend in some of the advanced Degrees and in Continental Freemasonry, that the heart of Hiram Abif was deposited in an urn and placed upon a monument near the Holy of Holies, where it was revered as a relic.
(Masonic Symbol: Heart of Hiram Abif)

Other Masonic Symbols in the Indiana Jones Movies:

10. The Swastika:
An imortant symbol in German Freemason coats of arms as you can see here.

arms_masons_germany.jpg


11. The "Cruciform Sword":
Called also the Pontifical Cross, because it is borne before the Pope. It is a cross, the upright piece being crossed by three lines, the upper and lower shorter than the middle one. It is the insignia of the Grand Master and Past Grand Masters of the Grand Encampment of Knights Templar of the United States. The same cross placed on a slant is the insignia of the Sovereign Grand Commander of the Supreme Council of the Ancient and Accepted Scottish Rite of Freemasonry. The Red Cross was always a Templar symbol.
(Masonic Symbol: The Cross of Salem)

pp-bropin1.jpg


12. The Column:
Remember this movie poster for Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom?

G-164-161~Indiana-Jones-and-The-Temple-of-Doom-Posters.jpg


In Freemasonry, columns have a symbolic signification as the supports of a Lodge, and are known as the Columns of Wisdom, Strength, and Beauty.
Notice the similarity between Indy's column and this one from Rosslyn Chapel:
(Masonic Symbol: The Column)

rosslyn3.jpg


13. The Light:
Light is an important word in the Masonic system. It conveys a far more recondite meaning than it is believed to possess by the generality of readers. It is in fact the first of all the symbols presented to the neophyte, and continues to be presented to him in various modifications throughout all his future progress in his Masonic career. Ironic, isn't it, that Indy encoutered a light-based trap in the very beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark, during his own neophyte days? And such perils are presented to him in later adventures!
(Masonic Symbol: The Light)

Masonic Concepts as the Ultimate Goals in the Indiana Jones Movies:

Raiders of the Lost Ark: Faith
From "talking to God" to closing your eyes because someone says to, this is a movie about literally blind faith, which is a very important Masonic tenet. In fact, in initiate is blindfolded during their initiation to teach them blind faith.

Temple of Doom: Charity
When you're helping the poor, freeing slaves, and going through Hell nearly in a literal sense and you don't even get the treasure you were seeking, you're doing it for charity if you still feel good when it's over, as Indy indeed did.

Last Crusade: Illumination, Immortality
For Indy's father, just recieving the enlightenment of knowing the truth about the Holy Grail was enough. Just as it was for the Templars who were initiated into the secret of the real Holy Grail. Immortality has symbolism in Masonry.

Crystal Skull: Knowledge, Hope
For Spalko, only the ultimate knowledge would suffice, and for Indy the hope of marrying Marion and knowing he had a son was what satisfied him most. In Masonry, Knowledge of every kind is revered and Hope is always sought after.

So, from a Masonic point of view, Indiana Jones is filled with a great deal of symbolism and hidden meaning. Whether or not that meaning is intentional or coincidental is another matter entirely... I've seen very intentional Masonic symbolism in movies ranging from National Treasure to Flash Gordon (1980), so it wouldn't surprise me if something like that existed in Indiana Jones too.
 

eroc

New member
Freemasonry is the Illuminati and is believed to secretly control all aspects of society and government, aka, the New World Order.


Moedred said:
As a Freemason myself, I can tell you ...the grand secret of Freemasons, as brother Benjamin Franklin once said, is that they have no secret at all.

Most Freemasons are unaware of hidden or secretive ruling bodies that govern their organization, conduct occult ritual, or control various positions of power. This is an example of a secret society within a secret society.


Freemasons hold meetings with influential politicians and businessmen at Bohemian Grove. The worshiped statue of an owl is an alleged masonic symbol.


lf the Masons aren't hiding anything then why are all aspects of their society secret?

Masons are evil.



When the so-called founding fathers of America landed on Plymouth Rock they were faced with a tyrannical British regime. In order to gain complete dominance of the new state, the Masons orchestrated the American War of Independence. The leader who took the war to the British was none other than George Washington, a Freemason. The world's first Masonic State was born-a nation that would represent masonry in every way. A sign of the Masonic presence in America is plainly visible on the dollar bill, which carries a picture of George Washington, the First Freemasonic president in the world, and the picture of the freemasonic symbol of the so-called all seeing “one eye.”



Advances in technology are the way forward for freemasons; these allow the actions of all individuals in society to be monitored, checked and recorded. Technology is there to restrict the choices you have. Control of the masses means the complete control of every aspect of human life - YOUR life! Shocking acts of terrorism, soaring crime rates and increasing incidences of violence are propounded by film, media and government reports alike, creates strong public sympathy and support for harsh tactics and surveillance techniques. In this way, more and more technology can be introduced and the level of monitoring and surveillance can be increased. They can already find out who talked to you on the phone, where you work, where you shop, what you eat, what you wear, how much you are worth, what you earn, etc. One identity card will allow even closer monitoring and enable a complete psychological profile to be compiled on each and every individual in society. In addition, moves are being made to replace hard currency with a system that relies totally on electronic funds transfer (smart cards). Inside the smart card is a microchip with a tracking device that calculates every single transaction, and thereby log your every movement anywhere in the world.



The Freemasons’ plan for complete global control by one governmental body means that they must pave the way for complete global economic union, complete global legislative and political union and complete global military union. With the formation of the European Economic Community (EEC) the first significant steps in the creation of this global government was taken. The EEC has become a testing ground for the New World Order. Plans are already underway for the establishment of complete monetary union. All this will mean that eventually, in the super state, in the EEC there will be one currency, one economy and one government (a masonic government).

SCARY...To SAY THE LEAST.
 
Last edited:

Paden

Member
eroc said:
Masons are evil.
Okay, just for clarification, could we have a head count of everyone that's evil on the boards? I think that would be extremely helpful for many of the members here, especially with regard to knowing who we can direct questions about global conspiracies to. I've already got one: What exactly do you Illuminati types have cooked up for 2012? Is there some sort of doomsday device that you've got stashed in South America, just waiting to be set off on December 21st so you can convince everybody that the Mayans were right? ;)
 

Pale Horse

Moderator
Staff member
I am evil. :)

Paden said:
What exactly do you Illuminati types have cooked up for 2012? Is there some sort of doomsday device that you've got stashed in South America, just waiting to be set off on December 21st so you can convince everybody that the Mayans were right? ;)

The weapon of mass destruction (allegedly) not found in Iraq was a Stargate:

ames-stargate.mod.m.jpg


That the Illuminati will use to deport Born-Again Christians to another part of the universe. This will remove the 'watchdog' from the junk yard, allowing 'they' (the Illuminanti) to say, "Aliens have stolen our citizens! We need to unite in world peace to fend off this gross genocide of our planet."

All the pieces are in place at that point for the New World Order, one world government, so that we can save the from the Global Warming of the Sun.

It breaks down like this, though I will disavow any knowledge of this plan:

The KKK is endorsed by Procter and Gamble, who also supports the satanists, and who sold Mrs. Fields cookie recipe to Neiman Marcus for $2,000 after the kiddie tatoos laced with LSD that were supposed to be used for satanic ritual abuse at that day care center in Beaufort were mistakenly eaten by the choking doberman who was bitten by the snake that came out of the fur coat that was worn by the escaped homicidal maniac whose hook prosthesis was found hanging from the door of the car of the teenagers who high-tailed it out of a lovers lane when they heard that he had escaped and then went to the pot party where the kids who were supposed to be babysitting got high on marijuana and were so stoned they accidentally put the baby in the oven instead of the turkey that makes you sleepy because it contains tryptophan because the microwave was ruined by the exploding poodle that the girl with the beehive hairdo that turned out to contain roaches who had gotten an automatic "A" at college because her roommate had committed suicide had put in to dry after it had gotten wet chasing the vanishing hitchhiker who had tried to warn the girl that her insides were cooked because she had stayed too long under the sun lamp at the local tanning salon while her dad poured a load of concrete into a new convertible parked outside of the house because he thought it belonged to a guy who was having sex with his wife but was really a prize he had won in a contest at that radio station that played rock records that contained hidden commands and subliminal messages planted by the Jews, international bankers, the Trilateral Commission, the Council on Foreign Relations, the Illuminati, the New World Order, Scientologists, multinational corporations, right wing militias, Jerry Falwell, the Christian Coalition, Planned Parenthood, and the spooks at Hanger 18 of Area 51 in Dreamland who performed the autopsies on the aliens who crashed at Roswell, New Mexico while on a mission to abduct people and conduct weird sexual and reproductive experiments on them because they knew we use only ten percent of our brains and that engineers had "proven" that bumblebees cant fly and that sugar wakes you up even if youre a CIA agent who has recovered memories about conspiring with organized crime and anti-Castro extremists to kill JFK with a magic bullet, and then killed dozens of other people whose odds of all dying within the period in which they did are infintesimal even if you dont count their near-death experiences in which an angel guided them to the light before they were called back because it wasnt time for them to die like Mikey from the Life cereal commercials did after eating Pop Rocks(R) candy when his friend Alice Cooper who was Eddie Haskell on Leave it to Beaver woke up after a one night stand in a hotel only to find that the girl he was with was gone and had written "Welcome to the world of AIDS" in lipstick on the bathroom mirror which terrified him because he knew that it is just as easy to get AIDS from heterosexual intercourse as it is from homosexual sodomy with an IV drug user because when the US government created AIDS to commit genocide against blacks who arent adversely affected by the minimum wage with the aid of Korean grocers who dont give anything back to the community they knew that Anne Klein had said on the Donahue show that she didnt want blacks buying her clothes because when the poison they put in that fried chicken at Churchs so The Rich could keep the poor down because they cant be rich if nobody is poor there would be a massive coverup like the Philadelphia Experiment or the carburetor that can allow a car to get 100 mpg in perpetual motion just like Nikola Tesla had done a hundred years ago using the same principal that Uri Geller uses to bend spoons and psychic friends use to give you valuable insights that improve your life for amusement purposes only while smoking a cigarette that has no more been proven to give you cancer than evolution has been proven to occur because its only a theory and there are no transitional fossils and it violates the second law of thermodynamics unlike creation science which proved that the world is 10,000 years old and pointed out that there are no transitional fossils or traces of bigfoot other than the footprints of the ones that flew away in the UFO that beamed up the logger who had a fear of irradiated food which is rational because we know its bad just like the assault weapons that are more dangerous than other semi-automatic weapons because they look scary and ugly and theyre ok to ban because the second amendment wasnt meant to preserve the rights of individuals against the state like the other nine amendments in the Bill of Rights but instead is the only bad amendment because guns dont kill people, bullets kill people, and countries where the state doesnt permit its citizens to own guns have less crime and lower taxes and better medical systems which is why the UN is going to take over the world with its black helicopters and put computer chips in tatoos on our wrists so that we dont have to worry about the government using spy sattelites to take photos of us sunbathing nude in the backyard with a soda from which you have to save the metal tab to help a dying kid get a new kidney to replace the one that was stolen when he was drugged in Mexico and the doctor removed the wrong leg by mistake and put it in the medical waste bin next the lunch that belonged to the surgeon who accidentally took home the small ice cooler with the human heart so that in the middle of the transplant operation all they had was a roast beef sandwich and the overweight girl in the next room never knew she was pregnant because you cant get that way the first time, unless you use one of the condoms that the nuns secretly put holes in with the needles that were used inject the military with the Anthrax vaccine that doesnt work and actually kills some people like the cars that accelerate out of control when the drivers are sure theyre pushing down on the brakes to avoid the pickup truck with the exploding side mounted gas tanks and the Pinto with the rear mounted model and the dead body still in the trunk that was locked when the guy bought the car, which he finally found when the smell overwhelmed the human phermones in his girlfriends perfume that controlled his unconscious mind just like the subliminal snack bar ads at the movie theater and the political ones on the television that was showing the news story about the image of Jesus that appeared on a flour tortilla and a concrete floor and a billboard near the tree where you could see the Virgin Mary by looking into the sun just right and squinting your eyes because you dont want to use the eye drops that contain the sulfuric acid and were on the store shelf with the soda bottle in which the man found a human finger and near the apples that contained the razor blades when the kids got them while trick-or-treating on Halloween night while the teenage satanists who cause all the crime were sacrificing the stolen pets in the graveyard near the mortuary where the girl was accidentally locked in with the bodies overnight and her hair turned white and she always slept in the daytime after that because her house was under the power lines that caused all of the birth defects in the kids that ran the teenage prostitution ring at the school where lightning struck the football field and killed the entire team during practice because the government can improve our lives by suspending the laws of supply and demand to make prices fair and deciding how many people of each race and sex should be in colleges and jobs which is good because when control of everyday life is centralized in the state the people who get to make the decisions are never capricious or highhanded or make decisions favoring their friends and family and people who pay them money because if only we can get the right people into positions of control it will be safe to let them run things because smart people can figure out how to allocate resources and what fair prices are for goods and services and labor and who should be allowed to do what much more efficiently and constructively than just letting millions of people make their own decisions about what they should eat or drink or smoke or for whom they should work for under what conditions for how much money on what schedule based on their own perceptions concerns and plans in accordance with their best interests.
 

Paden

Member
That was...awesome! (y)

I honestly don't think there was a single conspiracy left unturned. Hats off, sir. :hat:
 
Top