Horrible Ideas That You Could Actually See Making It Into Indy 5

Montana Smith

Active member
Lance Quazar said:
Stacked deck indeed!

217.jpg
 

The Drifter

New member
Dr.Jonesy said:
It had plenty of action. Just as much as 'Last Crusade'. I'm not going on a RottenTomatoes review hunt just so I can prove to you that it was said. Sorry, it's not worth it to me. But here's the action pieces for the 3 sequels just so you can compare!
:hat:

Temple of Doom
-Club Obi Wan Fight
-Fight in Indy's room
-Thugee Fight
-Mine Cart Chase
-Bridge Scene

Last Crusade
-Train Chase
-Ship Fight(Coronado)
-Boat Chase
-Bike Chase
-Plane Chase
-Tank Fight

Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
-Warehouse Chase
-Diner Fight
-MotorCycle Chase
-Cemetary Guard Fight
-Jungle Chase
-Ants/Dovchenko

Do you fault 'Temple of Doom' for not having as much action? ;)

ToD and Crusade's action scenes were much longer than the short slices of action seen in Kingdom. That makes all the difference.
 

WilliamBoyd8

Active member
Indy is happily married to Marion and living in a retirement community.

Willie shows up with a young woman.
"Our daughter, Indy".

Elsa shows up with a young man.
...

:)
 

Henry W Jones

New member
Marion and Mutt get kidnapped by Soviet soldiers and Indy the rest of the movie goes around knocking out Soviets and grumbling, "GIVE ME BACK MY FAMILY!!!!!:mad: "
 

Col. Detritch

New member
Originally Posted by Dr.Jonesy
Do you fault 'Temple of Doom' for not having as much action? ;)

To reiterate what has already been said, we (and I speak mainly for myself here) don't do that with ToD because, quite frankly, it has the most action orientated plot of any of the Indy movies and presents said action in rapid succession akin only to a blitzkrieg. Have you seen the first 20 minutes and the last 30 minutes of that film. ;)

Originally Posted by Mungi
I actually saw a video at YouTube where a film critic was speaking right after the premiere in Cannes. He said there was too much action, too much fun. He said it was a sequence of special effects and stunts, without any story or characters - he said that's not what people go into theaters for.

Regardless to anyone's opinions on the quantity of action in KotCS, this "critic" obviously doesn't understand the concept and/or spirit of the franchise: a 1930s-serial-esque, punch-'em-up, popcorn-adventure movie. Pure escapism, and if they want to throw a bit of emotion into it (ala LC), there's nothing wrong with that.

But now to the actual point of this thread; the WORST thing to do for an Indy film IMO would be to (please read the following in a sarcastic way): Start off with a fan-fic script in which every character possible makes a cameo. That's right all your favorites like Shorty, Willie, Sallah, Marcus, Henry Sr, Cap. Katanga, Mac and the Grail Knight return to tarnish your memories of them. 'But wait, aren't Henry, Mac and Marcus dead?' you say... in 1945 they're not. And with the power of CGI we can make Harrison look young again making this prequel possible. So in #5 Indy and his greatly extended crew are going after the legendary Atlantis... sayonara beloved and established Extended Universe story Fate of Atlantis. The bad guys are of course Nazis who want to find Atlantis to save the Third Reich, but in a delicious twist, it never becomes even remotely clear as to how in the hell this would work. So after a long and relatively uneventful quest (including an extended sequence in which Indy and Henry quietly read-up on Atlantis in a library - with no characteristic confrontation) the Nazis are killed off in cliche and uninspired ways and Indy and his crew all ride a single sea turtle to safety. The End :dead:

:hat:
 

The Man

Well-known member
Marion blows the family silver on her ever-worsening crack habit, forcing Indy and Mutt into the shady world of backstreet brawling to put grub on the table. Father coaches son. Featuring Tom Hardy as Bruiser Dolan...

LaBeouf said that after several bad encounters, the two began to hate each other. Then due to a bad joke, they got into a fight. LaBeouf claims that he ended up victorious in the brawl and that Hardy "never did that roughhouse stuff with me again."
 

The Man

Well-known member
Rocket Surgeon said:
Skull already did that one, eh?

Yeah, the bike chase and jungle bungle*. But Hangar 51 spoiled the cuddliness.





*There was a Russkie soldier lying on the ground after the RPG strike, but...dead? Hmmmm...
 

Dr Bones

New member
Col. Detritch said:
To reiterate what has already been said, we (and I speak mainly for myself here) don't do that with ToD because, quite frankly, it has the most action orientated plot of any of the Indy movies and presents said action in rapid succession akin only to a blitzkrieg. Have you seen the first 20 minutes and the last 30 minutes of that film. ;)



Regardless to anyone's opinions on the quantity of action in KotCS, this "critic" obviously doesn't understand the concept and/or spirit of the franchise: a 1930s-serial-esque, punch-'em-up, popcorn-adventure movie. Pure escapism, and if they want to throw a bit of emotion into it (ala LC), there's nothing wrong with that.

But now to the actual point of this thread; the WORST thing to do for an Indy film IMO would be to (please read the following in a sarcastic way): Start off with a fan-fic script in which every character possible makes a cameo. That's right all your favorites like Shorty, Willie, Sallah, Marcus, Henry Sr, Cap. Katanga, Mac and the Grail Knight return to tarnish your memories of them. 'But wait, aren't Henry, Mac and Marcus dead?' you say... in 1945 they're not. And with the power of CGI we can make Harrison look young again making this prequel possible. So in #5 Indy and his greatly extended crew are going after the legendary Atlantis... sayonara beloved and established Extended Universe story Fate of Atlantis. The bad guys are of course Nazis who want to find Atlantis to save the Third Reich, but in a delicious twist, it never becomes even remotely clear as to how in the hell this would work. So after a long and relatively uneventful quest (including an extended sequence in which Indy and Henry quietly read-up on Atlantis in a library - with no characteristic confrontation) the Nazis are killed off in cliche and uninspired ways and Indy and his crew all ride a single sea turtle to safety. The End :dead:

:hat:

Mr Lucas wants his script back! ;)
 

Indy's brother

New member
The last scene, we see mutt in an mental institution, Harrison Ford is his doctor. Karen Allen is his nurse. Sallah is the groundskeeper, etcetera, etcetera. Every previous cast member is somewhere in this scene. All of Indy's adventures were Mutt's delusions. Hold a shot on a bleary eyed, vacant stare directly into the camera from Mutt. Crazy by Patsy Cline begins to play, as the camera slowly zooms out, fades to black, and begins rolling credits.
 

Stoo

Well-known member
Indy's brother said:
Crazy by Patsy Cline begins to play,
The truly horrible thing about your most recent Horrible Idea is that the lyrics for "Crazy" don't fit what you're describing.:p
 

micsteam

New member
Patsy Cline's " Crazy" is not as good as hearing it in a Vietnamese accent !!! " Crajjy I'm Crajjy for feeling for Jou " ..... I dunno I forget what movie this was in but hysterical !!! :D
 

Bjorn Heimdall

Active member
Indy wakes up, now an old man. He is a slave in pankot Palace. He has been under the spell of the Black Sleep the whole time. Everything that happened after that scene (also Raiders, since it takes place later than ToD) has been a part of Indy's crazy fever dream.

Harrison Ford delivers the performance of his life as Indy, realizing that most of his life and adventures are lies. Camera zooms into his crying face, then out as he starts grinning. As the camera zooms further we see Spielberg and Lucas to either side of him, and the three all show the audience the finger, with Lucas saying: "That's for saying we ruined the franchise. This sh*t you are seeing here, it's canon. so what do you think about your precious franchise now?"

THE END

As for ideas that could actually make it into the film... I don't know, Short Round comes back as an Indy sidekick. He and Mutt now do all the stuff while Indy moans about being old. Short Round is played by Jet Li.
 
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