How many times do you fart per day?

O

oki9Sedo

New member
"On average, a person produces about half a liter of fart gas per day, distributed over an average of about fourteen daily farts"-FactOnFarts.com

I do about a dozen a day.
 
O

oki9Sedo

New member
metalinvader said:
At least 20..26 if I'm at work ( 90% male environment..You gotta expect a farting contest)
Click to expand...

Good man.

When I sleep in at weekends, I always do a huge one after getting up.
 
Last edited:
Indyologist

Indyologist

Well-known member
It depends on what I eat. Usually they are light and fluffy, but if I've eaten meat or certain kinds of vegetables... look out. Then they can either be loud enough to wake the dead or really, really quiet but they both smell really foul and eggy. The more fart-producing foods I eat, the more I let 'em go.

And yes, I am a pretty girl. So pretty girls do fart.

One of my favorite videos from youtube. Cracks me up every freaking time. Especially the one guy putting his butt against the door. Good gracious, what a wake up call!

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/o6vN4H6L458&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/o6vN4H6L458&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>
 
Last edited:
O

oki9Sedo

New member
My dad gets up early and farts every morning in the shower. Its routine now. It echoes all around the bathroom.

There's a weight training exercise called the "prone trap raise", which is guarenteed to make you fart.
 
Last edited:
G

Gustav

New member
I don't fart that much because I burp a lot. If you don't burp, the gas will go down a become a fart. If you hold in a fart you get sick so let it out. Most people try to silence their farts by spreading the cheeks, but I find it far more satisfying the louder they are.

Personally I think it's rude when people try to pretend they don't fart. I mean who do they think they are? Do they intend to convince us that they're better than us farting mortals? Do they mean to propose that they are above having gas? Do they presume to put themselves on a pedestal by making their farts indetectable?
 
herr gruber

herr gruber

Guest
I can proudly say that I have never farted in my entire life. It's so disgusting. I prefer to keep it in and develop internal problems. I am currently a size 54 waistline due to severe bloating of the stomach but I'd rather look like a blimp than to release noxious odours.

I wonder if Indy ever farted? Perhaps that's why his trousers are so baggy: easy release.
 
O

oki9Sedo

New member
herr gruber said:
I can proudly say that I have never farted in my entire life. It's so disgusting. I prefer to keep it in and develop internal problems. I am currently a size 54 waistline due to severe bloating of the stomach but I'd rather look like a blimp than to release noxious odours.

I wonder if Indy ever farted? Perhaps that's why his trousers are so baggy: easy release.
Click to expand...

Its impossible to not fart. You develop a certain volume of gas each day and it has to be released sometime.

I'm sure Indy has let rip the odd one in bed or between lectures.
 
herr gruber

herr gruber

Guest
oki9Sedo said:
Its impossible to not fart. You develop a certain volume of gas each day and it has to be released sometime.

I'm sure Indy has let rip the odd one in bed or between lectures.
Click to expand...

Nevertheless, I can assure you that I have never farted in my life. Well, in the last hour, anyway. People have made money out of farting, you know. There was a guy who farted for a living on stage, Le Petomane.
He 'performed' at the Moulin Rouge.
 
O

oki9Sedo

New member
herr gruber said:
Nevertheless, I can assure you that I have never farted in my life.
Click to expand...

This business of not deliberately farting to save the environment is pointless, my friend, because it'll come out passively anyway. It has to. You're producing it all the time and it can't stay in your bowel.

So you're torturing yourself for nothing. You'll also fart alot more in your sleep, by the way. Not very pleasant for any woman you're in bed with. Or man, as the case may be. God forbid anything else.

Anyway, yes, there's also an English "performer" called Mr. Methane, who farts songs for a living:

http://www.mrmethane.com/
 
Last edited:
herr gruber

herr gruber

Guest
oki9Sedo said:
This business of not deliberately farting to save the environment is pointless, my friend, because it'll come out passively anyway. It has to. You're producing it all the time and it can't stay in your bowel.

So you're torturing yourself for nothing. You'll also fart alot more in your sleep, by the way. Not very pleasant for any woman you're in bed with. Or man, as the case may be. God forbid anything else.

Anyway, yes, there's also an English "performer" called Mr. Methane, who farts songs for a living:

http://www.mrmethane.com/
Click to expand...

"Or man as the case may be?!!!" "God forbid anything else"!!! Really, Oki9, a guy sleeps with a horse once and he gets called a pervert.
By the way, I have never farted. Did I mention that?
 
O

oki9Sedo

New member
herr gruber said:
"Or man as the case may be?!!!" "God forbid anything else"!!! Really, Oki9, a guy sleeps with a horse once and he gets called a pervert.
Click to expand...

I know, its ridiculous, isn't it? That sheep was every bit as up for it as I was.

herr gruber said:
By the way, I have never farted. Did I mention that?
Click to expand...

That just means you're farting alot more than most in your sleep, and the gas is escaping passively when you're not aware of it.
 
Indyologist

Indyologist

Well-known member
ReggieSnake said:
strange...very strange. *cough*, moving right along...
Click to expand...

Poor Reg-- our gas vapors are making him cough. Keep it down guys!

herr gruber said:
I wonder if Indy ever farted? Perhaps that's why his trousers are so baggy: easy release.
Click to expand...

Heck, YEAH! Sheesh, I mean, imagine all the wierd food he's eaten, not to mention good old American grub! I'll bet Indy lets 'em go all over his house. Maybe sitting on his desk for that extra volume? Funny, you know, that guy in the middle of the video I posted (the one who puts his butt against the door) is built really similar to Indy. Think he might have woken up Shorty in the other room that way if they stayed in a hotel in Delhi?

Harrruuuupmh!

"Hahahaha. Okay, Dr. Jones. I awake now!"
 
herr gruber

herr gruber

Guest
I never thought my breaking wind procedures would garner such international exposure and analysis. Hey! My bowels are famous!
:sick:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top