Spoof an Indy Quote

JP Jones

New member
Here's a fun game I discovered on a Jurassic Park forum. You take a quote from one of the movies and you edit it to make if funny. I'll give you an example.

Short Round: It feel like I step on fortune cookie
*Indy eats a "Fortune Cookie"*
Indy: Nope these aren't fortune cookies kid

If you don't find that one funny, it's because I made that up on the spot
 

Meerkat

New member
Irina: It was not made by human hands...*reaches forward and puts hands on Indy's knees
Indy: Auuhh....*smiles, sighs and relaxes in chair, closing his eyes and drifting off into a daydream*
 

JP Jones

New member
*Belloq sees the ghost*
Belloq:It's beautiful!
*turns into a skelaton*
Belloq:Correction, it's butt-ugly
*FACE BOMB!*
Ghost:Now who's ugly?
 

Team Indy

New member
Indy: Snakes... why did it have to be snakes?
Marion: I don't know, Mac, maybe because you're a mean old snake yourself and scared to admit it, so when you see the literal form of who you are, you go into a frightened state of shock.
Indy: ...
Marion: Buddy, I'm not this stupid damsel in distress. I'm smart.
Indy: Actually, I fell into a snake pit when I was thirteen, and it scarred me for life.
Marion: Wait... were you fine about snakes before then?
Indy: Yeah.
Marion: (sarcastic) Uh huh. Sure.

Sallah: Asps. Very dangerous. You go first. (pushes Indy into the pit)
Indy (as he falls down the pit): Saaalllaaahhh! (lands) Oof.
Sallah: The Germans pay good money, my friend. I'm afraid it is now we must part.

Sallah: How old was Marion when you met?
Indy: (smiles mischeviously) 15.
Sallah: And how old were you?
Indy: 24.
Sallah: (spits out drink on Indy's face) You goddamn filthy cradle robber! You disgust me! I no longer know you. Goodbye. (leaves)

Henry Sr.: No one can resist the Connery.
Indy: You're supposed to be Henry Jones Sr., remember, Dad?
Henry Sr.: All right. No one can resist the Jones.
Indy: Hey, thanks, Dad.
(Henry Sr. whacks him with his umbrella.)
Indy: Ow, what was that for?
Henry Sr.: That's for blasphemy.
God: How dare you insult Indiana Jones in that manner, and did thou take my name in vain for your own selfish desires?
Henry Sr.: Oh, dash it all!

My, I certainly did a lot of Indy-bashing. Well, he's fun to make fun of.
 

JP Jones

New member
*Indy standing on the ledge at the 3rd challenge*

Indy: Nobody can jump that.

*Looks around*

Indy: But if I get a running start ...

*Backs up and jumps, slamming onto the ledge face first*

Henry Sr.: IDIOT!!
 

AnythingGoes

New member
Might as well give it a shot...
Indy: We're not going to Delhi, doll! We're going to Pankot Palace!
Willie: PANKOT?! You bastard! I needed to stock up on ham and cheese! I'm SO not doing a road-trip with unbalanced bowls! You'll pay! We'll be in the jungle and I'll have to release my unsteady intestines and guess who's cleaning it up?!
Shorty: Ha! Ha! Lady Constipated! Ha! Ha! All messy!
Sorry if that sucks, I just woke up!
:whip:
 

XanaduEli

Member
well here goes

Mac: do you want me to leave or shall we sing a song?
Irina: we shall sing a song.....you start
Mac: Well i..
Irina: START! (gets out rapier and points it at macs neck)
Mac: well i come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee..

(the Russians start piling into the tent dragging mutt in with them ready to sing along)

Mutt,Mac,Indy,Irina and the Russians: im going to Louisiana my true love for to see,(and they sing the rest of the song)

********************************
ha ha the most random piece of writing that i have ever written (y)
 

DocWhiskey

Well-known member
Oxley: 3 Times it drops.....
Mutt: What is he talking about?
Marion: What does he mean?
Indy: Seriously? He said that after we dropped from a waterfall. You guys are seriously gonna ask me what he means? Like, what the hell.
Oxley: 3 times it drops....
 

Dr Bones

New member
Henry lays dying "Three challenges of such lethal cunning...first...only the penitent.."

Indy "Heres the cup Dad..get up. Jeez...that was actually pretty easy...I mean c'mon, duck, roll, spell, step, weak old man, cheap old cup, done!
The training level on Tomb Raider 1 was tougher than that!

SLAP! :eek:

Henry "That's for blasphemy!"
...................

Elsa "This is how we say goodbye in Austria" Smooch

Vogle "Und dis is how ve say gutbye in Chermany" Wham!

Indy " I liked the fisrt one better"

Henry "Nah, I prefer a puncher to a slapper!"

(Slapper is English slang for a woman of loose morality!)

.................


Indy "You know what a cautious fellow I am?"

Marcus "Actually yes, would it hurt you to try something new in your wardrobe department? You've been wearing that shirt, pants, jacket and hat as long as I've known you and considering the things you have put it through....quite frankly it's disgusting!"

Indy "I have fond memories of that outfit!"

.............

Sallah "You were named after the dog?"

Henry "Well the cat was called Mr Tinkles so..um, actually that might have been better....Now, how old were you exactly before you stopped wetting your bed Junior?"
 

DiscoLad

New member
(When Indy and Sallah are discussing the head of the staff)
*Wind blows through room all loud*
Indy: Whoa, what was that?! The power of the staff's head?
Sallah: No actually that's the airport outside.

*Zooms out, shows them surrounded by airport. . .*

What, I just got back from practice and my humor is shot. . .:sleep:
 

kaokan123

New member
Willie: What's that?
Lao Che: Antidote.
Indy: To what?
Lao Che: What do you think? Poison. Why the hell else would you need an antidote?
 
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