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Old 06-12-2014, 02:18 AM   #1
Kooshmeister
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Naming the Nazis

I was bored, so here's some straight-up fanon:

In the Staff Car:
Blonde Driver Corporal Hansel Schwalberg

In the Truck:
Truck Driver Private Klaus
Armed Guard Private Fritz
Tough Sergeant Josef Shliemann
Private Heinz - Goes out on the side.
Private Klatz - Goes out on the side.
Preivate Hindle - Last out.
Private Gerhardt - Goes out on the side.
Private Heinrich - Goes out on the side.
Private Schwerke - Goes through Gobler's windshield.

In the Troop Car:
Lieutenant Andreas Belzig
Gunner Private Dietz

Airfield:
1st Mechanic Sergeant Jakob Hessler
2nd Mechanic Private Martin Kruger
Pilot Lieutenant Uhlrich von Herzog

On the Wurrfler and Bantu Wind:
Lieutenant Hassinger - "Number 1"
Lieutenant Kampenfeldt - Officer who vaguely resembles Harrison Ford.

In Cairo:
German Agent Steinach - Big agent.
German Agent Preissen - "Los, schnell, schnell!"
German Agent Kuhn - Older dude at the bar.

Castle Brunwald
Butler Johann
Female Officer Anne-Marie Kramer
Principal Officer Major Julius Hartmann
SS Guard Hermann
SS Guard Turzig
SS Guard Skoda
SS Guard Grabner
Officer Dohrmann
Officer Kleber
Officer Jannings
Officer Erhlich
Motorcycle Soldier Schmidt - Takes the flagpole.
Motorcycle Soldier Herren
Motorcycle Soldier Pilzer
Motorcycle Soldier Grote

Zeppelin
Gestapo Agent Josef Hessler - Brother of Jakob.
Pilot Captain Horst Neufeld - "Chooooook! Chook chook choook choooook!"
Pilot Lieutenant Karl Schroeder - "Well, they don't come any closer than that!"

Hatay
Gestapo Agent Hapen - Sunglasses.
Gestapo Agent Strasser - "Papers, please!"
Periscope Soldier Private Plesser
Tank Soldier Private rada

Last edited by Kooshmeister : 06-12-2014 at 02:31 AM.
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Old 06-13-2014, 05:42 PM   #2
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Sorry to say this, but this is pretty lousy as fanon goes. Where's the spice? You should also tell us something about these guys. Did they have family? What is Frau Kramer's favorite food (other than sauerkraut with blood, of course)? Did Private Gerhardt listen to Wagner or was he more partial to Lale Andersen?

C'mon... you gotta give us more than just a list of names.
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Old 06-23-2014, 10:45 PM   #3
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You're right, of course, but there's nicer ways of telling me my work needs improving, y'know...

Last edited by Kooshmeister : 06-23-2014 at 10:59 PM.
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Old 06-24-2014, 12:00 AM   #4
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For what it's worth, if I wanted to be harsh, I would left have out "sorry to say this"...
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Old 06-24-2014, 01:57 AM   #5
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Sergeant Josef Shliemann was born in Düsseldorf to low income parents working for a nobleman. As a consequence, he grew up despising German bluebloods. Not content to enter a life of domestic service like his parents, he joined the Imperial German Army and served as a private in World War I as a young teenager with great vigor but failed to distinguish himself. Despite this, he was remarked upon by both his fellow soldiers and his superiors alike as being a naturally gifted leader. His sergeant recommended him for a promotion, but the war ended before it could come through.

He joined the Nazi Party in 1934 based both on Hitler's promises of renewed German military might and the Nazis' disdain for German aristocracy. He saw himself as one of the "common German men," like his parents, and his hatred for the upper classes remained. He enlisted in the Heer as a private, and his leadership skills had his superior officer Lieutenant Belzig quickly promote him to the rank of sergeant. Despite this, he thought poorly of some of the Nazis' nastier actions, such as Krystalnacht and the Night of the Long Knives. He considered such actions distasteful and unbecoming of soldiers. As a result, he thought little of the Brutish SS but felt he understood why Hitler needed such men.

Despite his promotion, his military career was mostly unremarkable. While he was well-liked by his subordinates and depended on by his superiors to get things done, he would never live to see active combat duties again. In 1936, Shliemann was among the German forces smuggled into Egypt disguised as a plainclothes German archeological workers in order to fool the British government into believing Dietrich's Tanis dig was controlled by civilian German scientists being guarded by a small contingent of soldiers - not the Wehrmacht closely overseen by Eidel of the SS with many more soldiers than was necessary. Shliemann was among the most senior of the NCOs in Tanis, and a good many of his men were also around his age as well, career soldiers who'd served in World War I as he had - gray-haired but still tough as nails.

When the Ark was discovered and the Nazis' plan to fly it out went south due to the destruction of the Flying Wing, Dietrich demanded the Ark be driven to Cairo and from there flown to the Fatherland. Gobler was ordered to arrange the convoy, and at Belzig's suggestion he handpicked Shliemann and twelve of his best men to serve as the Ark's escort: Shliemann rode in back of the cargo truck with six armed men, with two up front in the cab. His immediate subordinate Corporal Schwalberg serving as Belloq, Dietrich and Toht's chauffeur. Gunner Dietz manned the MG34 of Gobler and Belzig's car while two more men rode on a motorcycle with a sidecar.

Meddling American Indiana Jones arrived and gained control of the cargo truck en route to Cairo by climbing into the cab and throwing out driver Private Klaus and passenger Fritz. Klaus didn't give up without a fight. He tried to stop the truck by slamming on the brakes, throwing Shliemann and all of his men in the rear up against the back of the cab, and causing Gobler to ram into them from behind. Jones regained control and floored the accelerator. One of the men in back, Schwerke, in the process of getting to his feet, was thrown out by the sudden forward momentum, and then Jones managed to also throw out Klaus. This left Shliemann with only five men in the truck. Initially, he made no action, both to protect himself and his men from the rather reckless Dietz, whose efforts to shoot Jones had nearly killed them all and damaged the Ark. He had no way of knowing when Dietz would fire again or what, if anything, Gobler planned to do, and so he was at a loss for what to do.

Jones made up his mind for him by ramming the other car off of a cliff, sending Gobler, Belzig and Dietz to the bottom of a gigantic ravine. Now without the triggerhappy Dietz as a threat, Shliemann took action, ordering four of his five men - Heinz, Klatz, Gerhardt and Heinrich - onto the sides of the truck with orders to retake the cab. Unfortunately, Indy saw them in the sideview mirrors and was able to shake them free. Gerhardt, the last one to go, tore a large portion of the truck's cloth top free as he fell. Without needing any prompting, Shliemann's remaining man, Hindle, took it upon himself to draw his Luger, climb out through the hole torn by Gerhardt, and managed to wing Jones before also being thrown loose, taking the passenger door with him.

All by himself, Shliemann climbed over the top of the truck, losing his cap to the wind, and managed to swing down into the cab and overpower Jones by exploiting Hindle's bullet wound and throwing the American through the windshield. He then attempted to crush Jones between the truck and Dietrich's staff car ahead, but the wily American managed to make his way back inside the cab and hurl the unprepared Shliemann through the already broken windshield. Despite his desperate efforts to hang on, the grill bars, always weakened by Jones' own attempt to use them as handholds, gave way under Shliemann's weight. He was pulled under the truck and run over, becoming the fourth and final casualty of the chase.
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Old 06-24-2014, 02:29 AM   #6
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Corporal Hansel Schwalberg was a young blonde man from Munich, the son of a law clerk. When he was a young boy his mother died of tuberculosis leaving him and his father to fend for themselves, which became difficult when the Depression hit Germany and his father's law firm went under. His father was forced to become a railroad worker to make ends meet, while Hansel, now a man in his own right, decided to join the Wehrmacht Heer and make his father proud serving his country. He graduated basic training as a private and was assigned under Sergeant Josef Shliemann.

Hansel was one of the few men in Sergeant Shliemann's command who was still relatively young. Most of the men Shliemann commanded were middle-aged veterans like himself; men he felt he could trust and depend on. Hansel, however, was still in his early thirties and had not fought in World War I. Although he lacked proper combat experience, he showed a natural aptitude for thinking quickly and making good decisions when under pressure, and for being a fast learner. These abilities plus fast reflexes behind the wheel of a car earned him a promotion to corporal where he served as Shliemann's most trusted subordinate and driver.

He went with Shliemann to Tanis in 1936. He spent a goodly amount of his time with other soldiers who specialized in mechanical things fighting to keep the vehicles running despite the rough desert conditions. He got along fairly well with his fellow mechanics Hessler and Kruger, and, when Dietrich's brand new Mercedes staff car arrived, Hansel went with Lieutenant Belzig to Cairo to pick it up, and rode with him back to Tanis to deliver it to their superior. A very pleased Dietrich then appointed Hansel his chauffeur when Shliemann's men were assigned as guard detail for the convoy by Gobler. He drove the Mercedes during the Nazis' ill-fated attempt to transport the Ark from Tanis to Cairo. His quick thinking and even quicker reflexes served him well during Indiana Jones' hijacking of the truck carrying the Ark; Hansel had been with the car during its initial trip from Cairo down this very road, and so he knew its twists and turns already. Although hindered by the rough terrain for which the elegant staff car was unsuited, Hansel managed to always stay one step ahead of Jones in the truck; such as when he rammed them from behind, Hansel, at Belloq's insistence, managed to get back on the road and maintain the lead.

Following the death of his immediate superior Shliemann, Hansel became a little unnerved and began losing his cool. As the truck roared towards them, Hansel, fearful that they'd be rammed into again, made a quick but nearly fatal decision - he opted to pull aside and allow Jones to pass, his idea being that after the truck shot by, he could then pull behind it and follow him to wherever he was going, and he, Dietrich and Toht, all armed with handguns, could overpower Jones and retake the truck.

It wasn't to be. Jones sideswiped the Mercedes and sent it careening down a mostly unused side road where it finally came to a bumpy stop against some dunes. Hansel knew he'd screwed up and that he was in for a smacking. An incensed Belloq did just that, swatting Hansel with his hat, demanding he turn around. Hansel was able to do so and use his prior knowledge of the road again to get them as caught up to Jones as possible, but when they arrived, the found him gone and were unable to locate him, and so Hansel drove them to the German consulate.

Needing someone to blame, Dietrich chose Hansel, and after a very stern dressing down and threats of being shot, he was dismissed. Secretly, Dietrich knew it was probable indeed that the young corporal had saved all their lives, so he didn't demote him, but just made a show of distancing himself from what he knew would be viewed as an underperforming handpicked driver. As a consequence, Hansel remained at the consulate when Dietrich, Toht and Belloq left to board the Wurrfler, and never accompanied them to Geheimhaven. He, along with the rest of the survivors of the truck chase, went back to Tanis and rejoined their fellow Germans. They thereafter were ordered to evacuate the site and returned to Germany.

Hansel served in the war that came, becoming a sergeant and eventually a lieutenant. He served under Colonel Franz von Waldheim in occupied France as an adjutant to Captain Schmidt. When von Waldheim transported a number of priceless French paintings via train, Hansel was one of his many men who remained behind and were eventually captured by the advancing Allied army. Hansel served time in an American P.O.W. camp but was eventually released. By this time, his father had managed to start a fledgling law firm and asked his son to be his junior business partner. Hansel accepted. The firm did moderate to good business throughout the 50's and 60's. Hansel ran it after his father's death and eventually retired in the early 70's. He died of a heart attack in 1978.
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Old 06-24-2014, 08:08 AM   #7
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*A round of applause*

Bravo! Credit when it's due. And if you can keep this up for all of them, I might even dish out the special reward.
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Old 06-24-2014, 01:53 PM   #8
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I dunno about all of them. The minor soldiers are covered in Shliemann's description. Anyhoo...

Josef and Jakob Hessler, known as the Hessler Brothers in their hometown, were a pair of siblings born and raised in Austria. They looked very similar to one another, although they weren't twins. Josef was the older of the two. The brothers were as different as night and day in their hobbies and pursuits.

Jakob was an amateur boxer in Germany as an adult, and also a wrestler, winning a variety of athletic awards. He also had had a strong enthusiasm for automobiles and aircraft since childhood, and, as a teenager, did part time work in a car garage while attending college. He eventually flunked out, disappointing his parents and earning the scorn of Josef. He was extremely apolitical, not particularly caring much about Nazis or Nazism. When he joined the Wehrmacht it was not of any particular patriotic duty, but simply because it seemed like it'd pay well and help him go places and see the world. He very quickly grew bored with "seeing the world," as he found (or believed) that regardless of race, color or creed, everywhere was pretty much the same as everywhere else, and, in particular, the High Command always seemed to be sending him to places that were hot, dry and dusty.

Josef was the more intellectual brother, although you wouldn't know it given his immense size and monstrous build, identical to his sibling's. Despite having the body for it, he tended to shun athletic pursuits and all interest in mechanical things, instead showing an interest in law. He sought to become an attorney in Germany, and, although he completed college successfully unlike Jakob, he found that few German law firms were interested in hiring him. Through a schoolmate, though, he learned of the Nazi Party and in particular its paramilitary arm, the SS. Unlike Jakob, Josef was extremely political, with strongly held beliefs about his country's future, believing it could, and should, ally itself with Germany. He was fiercely proud that an Austrian served as Germany's chancellor and believed his countryman would lead both nations down a golden road to victory.

Josef joined the SS. After being found to be racially pure, he managed to advance quickly in the ranks. His superiors initially sought to cast him in the role of a soldier, mistaking his immense size for a natural fighting ability. Unfortunately, he disappointed them. But they managed to find a place for him - the SS' secret police, the Gestapo! He enjoyed working in the Gestapo. He found he was quite good at interrogating suspects without needing to harm or even torture them, as his large size simply intimidated them. And when the need did arise to inflict harm, he found that a lack of fighting ability didn't mean he wasn't very strong, and he was known to break bones with one punch. In a straight-up fight, though, he was almost worthless.

The two brothers came to very different ends at different times, both involving the same man, an American named Indiana Jones. Jakob, holding the rank of sergeant and serving as the chief mechanic at the Nazis' dig site in Tanis, encountered Jones in 1936. He and his fellow mechanic, Kruger, had been told to prep the Flying Wing for takeoff. As chief mechanic, Jakob left most of these duties to Kruger. When he emerged from the small hut at the airfield the two men lived in and worked out of, he saw Kruger in the midst of attacking a stranger in a fedora with his wrench. He had no idea who this individual was, but, if the dutiful and fiercely loyal Kruger was attacking him, he had to be trouble.

Jakob, who'd been bored out of his skull, felt the itch to fight returning to his primed boxer's physique. Taking off his hat, shirt and gloves, he approached the fight, eager to get involved, but not hurrying; it seemed Kruger could handle himself. But the American proved resilient. Impressing Jakob, he threw Kruger against the side of the plane, knocking him out. As he clambered up to ambush the pilot, Jakob called to him and challenged him a fistfight. He was going to have fun beating this arrogant little man who'd intruded onto his airfield. He soon found out, though, that Jones was a surprisingly tough man for someone his size, and one who wasn't afraid to fight dirty. But Jakob gave as good as he got, and soon the two men were bloodied and beaten, and both unaware that gasoline was leaking everywhere, or that the plane had started up. Jakob was killed as he stood astride his fallen foe, demanding he get back up and face him, only to turn and see the spinning propeller heading towards him. He had only enough time to process this, and let out part of a startled yell, before the prop annihilated the entire upper portion of his body.

Josef later learned of his brother's death, but the circumstances around it were mostly kept secret due to both the sensitive nature of the operation in Tanis and the Nazis' embarrassment at its total failure. He grieved in his own way. He believed the Wehrmacht's poor handling of the mission (even though he never knew its exact details because Eidel guarded them closely) was to blame for Jakob's death and thus came to severely dislike the regular Army. By 1938, he held the rank of captain in the SS and served as an active Gestapo operative in Berlin. He attended a book-burning rally at the Institute of Aryan Culture where he met and spoke with Hitler as he was leaving. The Leader clapped his hand on the strapping Gestapo captain's shoulder and told him that Germany needed men like him - big and strong but also smart, and expressed great pleasure when Josef told him he was also an Austrian.

The following morning, Ernst Vogel arrived in Berlin from Brunwald on the Austrian border and enlisted the aide of the Gestapo to find two men - Indiana Jones and his father. Josef went with Vogel to the airfield and boarded a zeppelin they suspected the Americans were on. Upon getting on, they split up. Vogel took the passenger area while Josef took the crew area. He encountered Jones after the American had stolen a steward's uniform. Recognizing him from his picture, he threw a punch, missed, and put a hole threw the wall. Jones punched him back, whereupon the glass-jawed Josef immediately collapsed unconscious. Jones stuffed him in with the knocked out steward where he remained for the duration of the trip.

Eventually he and the steward freed themselves. This occurred just as the zeppelin was turning around and the Jonses had made for one of the biplanes kept on board. Rushing into the passenger area, Josef looked for Vogel but couldn't find him, so he called for all loyal Germans to accompany him to recapture the Americans. His posse amounted to the steward in his underwear, another zeppelin crewman who knew how to fly the biplanes, and an overweight elderly World War I ace. The four hurried along after their escaping prey. The steward attacked first, angry at his clothes having been taken, and Henry Jones knocked him off the catwalk railing - almost to his death. He just barely saved himself, thereafter deciding not to participate any further and returning inside.

When Indiana and his father escaped in the first biplane, Josef and his deputized companions decided to take the other. Initially the actual pilot was going to climb in, but with a "Step-aside-there-sonny" manner and clearly drunk, the World War I ace pushed him aside and got in himself, yelling for Josef to come with him. The zeppelin crewman then watched, stupefied, as Josef leaped down into the passenger seat... and promptly punched through the bottom, ending up half in, half out of the biplane, thoroughly stuck. Even as he contemplated going down to help him, he was horrified when the drunken ace detached the aircraft... without starting the engine. Both he and Josef plummeted to earth and died in a fiery explosions.
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