Who else thinks Twilight sucks?

Meerkat

New member
Honestly, Cullenism is becoming more than a fad.
I just saw this...It's absolutely disgusting. And here are some of the even more disgusting REVIEWS for the perverted product.
:sick: :sick: :sick:

Along with that, there are also Twilight feminine pads, Edward-themed pillows, bandaids, and even BARBIE DOLLS. (The Edward doll sparkles.)
We're not seeing any Harry Potter feminine pads, Harry-themed pillows, bandaids, barbie dolls OR disgusting sex toys, are we?
 

Agent Crab

New member
Yeah, but most people hate Twilight, because people like it. I don't like it, but I ignore it. I pretend Twilight don't exist at all. it's no differnt from people flying off the bat when they don't like KoTCS.

And I have seen Harry Potter toys, dolls and such as well. There are pillows, bandaids, etc.

Really, if you dislike Twilight so much, keep it to yourself and don't let it bother you. Move on.
 

Meerkat

New member
I was wondering if anyone else hated it. But it looks like most people either don't care (which is good) or never read the book/watched the movie (you lucky ducks.)
 

Agent Crab

New member
Meerkat said:
I was wondering if anyone else hated it. But it looks like most people either don't care (which is good) or never read the book/watched the movie (you lucky ducks.)

I don't like it, but hating an entire, poorly written series is just kinda lame. There was a thread like this on another forum I go on, which had some mature posts in it.
 

Meerkat

New member
As in mature, the opposite of immature? (just making sure...)

Ever since I started getting lessons from my book editor, I've been a well-written story snob- after that I refused to read any book that was badly written, even if it was from a series I previously liked. >.<
 

The Drifter

New member
Meerkat said:
As in mature, the opposite of immature? (just making sure...)

Ever since I started getting lessons from my book editor, I've been a well-written story snob- after that I refused to read any book that was badly written, even if it was from a series I previously liked. >.<

Well, why did you read Twilight to start with?
 

Nurhachi1991

Well-known member
dracula_bella_lugosi.jpg




The only vampire thats not a homo
 

Meerkat

New member
Lonsome_Drifter said:
Well, why did you read Twilight to start with?

Just to warn you, it's impossible for me to talk about why I read Twilight without talking about how badly it sucked. :rolleyes: So this is going to be very long.
WARNING: Spoilers involved.

It was a successful book, so I read the first four to determine what the SECRET of success was. I was very, very disappointed by what I found. I'd actually thought it was GOOD before, despite the fact that I had to struggle through the first two books because they were so darn boring. But if you dig deeper into the Twilight series, you'll find that most (if not all) of each book involves describing at least one of four things:

  • how totally hawt Edward is
  • how Bella feels when she's nestled against his perfect marble chest
  • how she feels when she's around Jacob and the fact that he loves him but loves Edward at the same time and how she hates herself for also loving Jacob
  • how Bella feels when she's forced to stay away from Edward or the Cullens.

So basically the only reason why the book is so good is that it's about EDDD13EE CULL3N!!!!111!11!!!11!!21!2111!!! being handsome.
Twilight's plot is completely messed up, and if you manage to get past all of the descriptions of Edward's sparkly, ice-cold skin, you'll realize Stephenie Meyer just threw out a bunch of random, contradictory ideas, put them down on paper, and published them. Like these:

  • One of the characters, Rosalie Cullen (vampire) was born in 1915, during the Great Depression. She was supposedly rich and happy.
  • Carlisle Cullen, the "dad" of the Cullens (not the real dad because vampires technically can't have kids) turned people from humans into vampires to save their lives. But he turned his "wife" Esme into a vampire because she broke her leg.(n)
  • Bella's parents were actually OKAY with her marrying Edward, who was "frozen" as a teenager about a hundred years ago. Teen marriage=BAD.
  • Stephenie Meyer's vampires sparkle in the sun, are not allergic to garlic/anything holy, and are just all-around Mary Sues/Gary Stus.
  • Since Stephenie Meyer's vampires are immortal and physically frozen at the year in which they were bitten, how could no one have caught the Cullens after 300+ years?
  • The Volturi, which are like the kings of the vampire community, are respected by many vampires. And they're cowards.:dead:
  • And speaking of the Volturi, in Breaking Dawn, they go to punish the Cullens for supposedly doing something bad, and then they Magically Happen To Not Arrive Until The Cullens Have Gathered Witnesses.

In addition to Twilight's plot being a total failure of writing, Stephenie Meyer is also a failure at developing likable characters with which the reader can identify. They are so perfect in every way, shape and form, and if the characters had any flaws those flaws were so shockingly horrid that it immediately makes you want to hate that character instead if identify with him or her.

Examples:
  • Isabella Swan (Bella)- Her only flaw is clumsiness, and I don't really understand how that detracts from her being a Mary Sue. She's smart, gorgeous, popular, all the boys have a crush on her, etc. Her last name is also Swan, and while I have nothing against any real people whose last names are Swan, most Mary Sues have unusual/overly unique names. But the one thing is: she NEVER LEARNS ANYTHING throughout the entire book. A book isn't a book unless the main character goes through some kind of development/learns an important life lesson at the end. If not, then it's just a bunch of text that might as well have been a nonfiction essay.
    When she becomes a vampire and joins the Cullens, who don't feed on human blood, she goes out to hunt some animals with Edward. Then she smells some humans and is able to RESIST the temptation on her very first try. Do I even need to explain why this is absurd?
    Bella is also impervious to most vampires' powers and can protect others against those powers as well, which makes any battle against the Volturi a breeze.
  • Edward Cullen- Yes, Robert Patterson is hot, but I don't understand why anyone in the world would want to date him. I mean, he's smart, handsome, and all the girls have a crush on him, but Edward...is perverted and abusive. He watches Bella while she sleeps, licks her, and even gets her pregnant on accident. (And then Demon Spawn Renesmee, who technically can't exist, almost kills her mom! Hooray!:rolleyes: )
    Along with all that, Edward is completely in control of Bella- he decides where to take her, he decides who her friends are, and he even tries to get rid of Jacob because he doesn't want any competition for his affections. Abusive, much? (And Stephenie Meyer thinks it's romantic!)
  • Renesmee Cullen- The daughter of Bella and Edward Cullen, who is technically not supposed to exist (more on this later.) Okay, she IS cute in a childish way, but the thing is, Meyer made her grow so incredibly fast, that two days after her birth, "Nessie" is already looking like a two-month-old. A vampire named Irina sees Nessie and thinks she is a dangerous immortal child (which is a human infant bitten by a vampire, and dangerous because the child has superhuman strength and can wipe out whole villages; also doesn't understand you when you talk to it). Irina reports Renesmee to the Volturi, who arrive at their slower-than-heck pace, but Renesmee conveniently has the ability to transfer images by touching your skin, therefore giving her the ability to communicate even though she is just a baby. And by the time the Volturi arrive, Renesmee conveniently reaches the stage in life in which she can learn how to speak.
    When Nessie was still in her mother's womb, the local werewolf pack (a group of Quileute boys plus one girl) wanted to destroy her. However, Jacob, the other person who loves Bella (and who would be a much better match for her) just so happened to be around when Nessie was born, and he imprinted on her, which basically means that some mystical magical force decided that Jacob and Nessie were destined to be together for life. Since no werewolf would kill the "object", as Meyer says, of another werewolf's imprinting, Nessie and the Cullens are saved.:mad:
  • Renée Dweyer- Bella's mom. She ditches her husband, Charlie Swan, who lives in Forks, just because it's so rainy. And in doing so, she proves that she has a terrible judgment in choosing husbands (if Renée can't take the freezing rain, why marry a guy who lives in Washington? Why even go there?) Even worse, no one even SAYS anything about it. Not even Bella.
    She's just a silly, babbling idiot who slightly reminds me of Chessamay Chestnut Abajian Wing Marshall Wing Sinclair Alvarez from Lisa Yee's Absolutely Maybe but she's not that much of a sissy.
  • Maggie (vampire in the Irish coven)- Some vampires bring their strongest personality trait into their vampire life as a special power when they are bitten. Maggie just happens to have the special power of knowing when she's being lied to, which really comes in handy when she is asked to be a witness to the fact that Renesmee is not an immortal child.
  • Siobhan (Irish coven)- She has the special talent of "making whatever she wants to happen immediately happen on the spot." I call it giving her an excuse to get whatever she wants. Siobhan was also a witness to Renesmee's un-immortal child-ness against the Volturi, so she could conveniently will the Volturi to go away.
  • Carlisle Cullen- He *says* he's humane, but he turns people into vampires without their consent and isn't above experimenting with some of his patients. End of story.
  • Irina (Denali coven)- WHY did she have to share names with The Great Irina Spalko? WHYHYHYHY?
    That is a fault in itself. Irina Denali could NEVER compare to Irina Jon- er, I mean, Spalko. Hehe.:eek:

Twilight also takes place in what would seem to be our universe- except the facts are scarily inaccurate:

  • Forks is NOT the rainiest place in Washington (even though it is listed in the top 3.) But Meyer said that it WAS the rainiest place.
  • With thevampires' rock-hard diamond skin, they wouldn't even be able to MOVE. Same limitations as armor, except more amplified.
  • Meyer says werewolves have 24 chromosomes. Vampires have 26 chromosomes. Well, humans have...23 chromosomes. And even though getting bitten by a vampire turns you INTO a vampire, you cannot add chromosomes to a creature. Not even if you exposed it to really high radiation.
    Werewolves also have a certain "werewolf gene", which is probably the 24th chromosome, that gets turned on if there are vampires in an area. Not scientifically possible, because if the gene never gets turned on, the werewolf might as well be an ordinary human.:rolleyes: And if a person gets 3 copies of the same chromosome, well, they either die or if they get a third copy of the 21st chromosome, they get Down syndrome. So that pretty much rules out the "werewolf gene" thing.
    And also, if vampires and humans had different amounts of chromosomes, they can't be genetically compatible. So sorry, Nessie, but you would never have been conceived in real life.:gun:
    As for sparkles? Make me laugh. There's no way you can do that unless you're made of a mineral. I know there can be silicon-based life forms, but we are carbon-based, not silicon-based, and besides, vampires have 3 more chromosomes than us.
  • Quileute boys do go on quests so they can find their supernatural powers, but they have no legends about werewolves.
    [*]Stephenie Meyer said it herself: she doesn't do research. End of story.

------

Whew, that was long. (And I think I still might have left out a few things, lol...)
Hope that explains everything for you :D
 
Good grief the whole plot is teribble, why would anyone want to see the Twiight or read the books? Well some girls maybe. My friend and I are tired of seeing that Twiight junk, all its about is romance nothing els. When you go to the store thats all you see is Twiight junk where the actor and actress are engaged. I would love for our producers of films would hopefully make more wholesome and family friendly TV shows and Movies. I saw some of the Twiight and i hated the movie at first sight.
 

Agent Crab

New member
IndyWolf15 said:
Good grief the whole plot is teribble, why would anyone want to see the Twiight or read the books? Well some girls maybe. My friend and I are tired of seeing that Twiight junk, all its about is romance nothing els. When you go to the store thats all you see is Twiight junk where the actor and actress are engaged. I would love for our producers of films would hopefully make more wholesome and family friendly TV shows and Movies. I saw some of the Twiight and i hated the movie at first sight.

Same thing can be said with Miley Cyrus or the Joans Brothers. I don't care what a person likes or dislikes. I don't like Twilight, but I ignore it. I pretend it don't exist.

Not everythingneeds to be "Wholesome, family friendly" either. Not everything needs to be G-rated.
 
Who said anything about G-rated buddy O.o?, Superman Returns has a few bad words and action but its still toward young adults, teens and children. M ovies do not need gore or sex like Twiight.
 

Meerkat

New member
IndyWolf15 said:
My friend and I are tired of seeing that Twiight junk, all its about is romance nothing els.

A very sick and twisted idea of romance, that is. Bella and Edward marry each other, but they don't like each other because of who the other person is, they're only attracted to each others' physical features. And Edward doesn't want Bella as a wife, he wants to own her. He wants to possess her. One moment he's all "We'll be together for the rest of our lives" and then the next moment he's "Mmm....maybe it's too dangerous for you." He likes to play with her emotions, make her happy first and then angry and then sad and...you get it. Deadward Cullen even said he'd LEAVE Bella for good after his sparkle-pire brother Jasper almost attacked her, and then he flew off to Italy begging for suicide because he thought Bella was dead (SHE tried to commit suicide by cliff-diving into the ocean), saying that if he didn't see Bella soon he'd find some way to tick the Volturi (very powerful sparklepire family) off so they'd want to kill him dead, like they should have.

*turns around and yells at SMeyer* You call that true love?:mad:
 
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Dr Bones

New member
Does Twilight suck? Yes they're vampires....that's what they do. :p

Never even heard of it until about a month ago.

Never seen it or read a line of it.

It's not really aimed at me, same as Harry Potter so I guess that's how I missed it and won't go out of my way to see it.

From what I am hearing....didn't Anne Rice et al do this slush already?
 

Nurhachi1991

Well-known member
IndyWolf15 said:
Who said anything about G-rated buddy O.o?, Superman Returns has a few bad words and action but its still toward young adults, teens and children. M ovies do not need gore or sex like Twiight.



beatlessss.jpg



Listen do you want to know a secret? Do you promise not to tell Oooooooooo closer ooooo waaaa oooooo let me whisper in your ear ooooooooooo waaaaaaaa oooooooo tell you things you might not want to hear.


*whispers* Superman returns was a horrible movie and I'm in no way defending Twilight but there is no sex in it.



and movies do need gore! Hate to break that to ya kid
 

Dr Bones

New member
Nurhachi1991 said:
and movies do need gore! Hate to break that to ya kid

As opposed to a plot....good acting, sharp script, direction etc etc? ;)

Dont get the Beatles ref...Love em, but don't tell me they somehow dragged the fab four into this mess?
 

Nurhachi1991

Well-known member
Dr Bones said:
As opposed to a plot....good acting, sharp script, direction etc etc? ;)

Dont get the Beatles ref...Love em, but don't tell me they somehow dragged the fab four into this mess?


I have been playing Beatles: Rockband ALL day haha gimmie a break :p
 

Agent Crab

New member
Nurhachi1991 said:
beatlessss.jpg



Listen do you want to know a secret? Do you promise not to tell Oooooooooo closer ooooo waaaa oooooo let me whisper in your ear ooooooooooo waaaaaaaa oooooooo tell you things you might not want to hear.


*whispers* Superman returns was a horrible movie and I'm in no way defending Twilight but there is no sex in it.



and movies do need gore! Hate to break that to ya kid

Plus.. mor eblood, sex amd porn?
 
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