Indiana Jones 5: A screenplay written by The Raven

Pale Horse

Moderator
Staff member
kongisking said:
Simplest answer to the problem is to say early on that he's attending college (against his will, of course), and then appears at the end when Indy, finally free of his grief and guilt, reconciles with him once and for all.

Easier not to address it. Let fan boys message forums ponder the exclusion of it for years to come. No harm, no foul.
 

JuniorJones

TR.N Staff Member
Pale Horse said:
Easier not to address it. Let fan boys message forums ponder the exclusion of it for years to come. No harm, no foul.

Give him the same address as Shorty. Nothing.

Still it would have been an interesting scene for KOTCS...



KOTCS - In the sinking pitt. Marion turns to Indy and looks at him, her eyes filling with tenderness.

MARION
... Indy, his...

INDY
... he’s a good kid, Marion... you should get off his back about school...

MARION
... Mutt, I mean...

INDY
... not everybody’s... cut out for it...

MARION
... his... his name is Henry.

And even though he’s up to his neck in a deadly dray sandpit, Indy manages to turn his head to Marion and look into her eyes.

INDY
Henry? Good name.

MARION
He’s your son.

INDY
My son?

MARION
Henry Jones, the third.

Indy looks away, thinking, all the repercussions sinking in --

INDY
You mean the Chinese boy?

MARION
Who?

INDY
Nothing...erm, Mutt's my son?

MARION
Chinese boy? Are you grooming children again...like you did me?

INDY
Marion...(Indy raises a smile) Trust me.

MARION
You'll never be alone with my son.

Indy
(Gulps!)
 

Moedred

Administrator
Staff member
What seems to bring out the most creativity is an Indy 5 contest, as from Vanity Fair or AICN. The winners received an Indy crate (with fedora, blanket, thermos, DVD set, and Blackberry), or Blu-rays. If we held one I don't know what we could offer that would be unique.

I'm biased of course, with my own ideas for 5 and 6.

It's been so long since we held a contest...
 

kongisking

Active member
Pale Horse said:
Easier not to address it. Let fan boys message forums ponder the exclusion of it for years to come. No harm, no foul.

So basically do what they did for The Dark Knight Rises concerning the Joker. :rolleyes:

I dunno, I feel like Mutt needs to at least have some tiny scene. Most fans may hate the character, but in terms of storytelling, it's a bad idea to introduce such a major character only to not explore him in a further installment. Unless if said exclusion is to benefit another character's arc.
 

Lance Quazar

Well-known member
Gonzo,

I think you might be better off writing your own script rather than trying to herd cats here with a group-written effort.

Too many cooks and all.

Given that you've already written some great (but maddeningly incomplete!!!!!!) fan fic, I know I'd be very eager to see what you come up with....
 

Lance Quazar

Well-known member
Moedred said:
What seems to bring out the most creativity is an Indy 5 contest, as from Vanity Fair or AICN. The winners received an Indy crate (with fedora, blanket, thermos, DVD set, and Blackberry), or Blu-rays. If we held one I don't know what we could offer that would be unique.

Oh, man, that AICN contest infuriated me! The brain-damaged "judge" picked easily some of the worst, most obvious, most amateurish ideas imaginable. And one of the winners freely admitted he stole his idea from some EU Indy material.

But, for what it's worth, I'm reposting my entry here if anyone wants to read it -



Indiana Jones and the Undiscovered Country**

It’s 1960 and Indiana Jones has settled into a quiet life, embarking on a worldwide lecture tour with his wife and son. While in Paris, Dr. Jones is approached by a brash former archaeology student, LELAND.

Leland has information on how to obtain a rare copy of the Tibetan Book of the Dead which, he promises, will lead to a legendary beyul - a hidden Shangri La-esque utopia somewhere in the Himalayas, where the boundaries between the realms of life and death are at their most fragile.

Indy refuses to join Leland on his quest, but Mutt, having learned that Marion has recently been diagnosed with cancer – a secret she has been keeping from her family, goes with him, defying his father and bringing along Indy’s research. Having heard all about Indy’s adventures, Mutt hopes the mystical valley might contain a supernatural cure for his mother.

When his wife and son disappear without a trace, Indy is hot on the trail. The traitorous Leland, in cahoots with the Red Chinese, is desperate to find the beyul and uncover its powers.

No matter the outcome of the mission, Indy is confronted with the prospect of a profound loss. But he is desperate to shield his loved ones from the embrace of death for as long as possible. In the end, quests are abandoned, villains are vanquished, sacrifices are made and the Jones family learns the that the most precious treasure of all is life itself.


**Yes, I know the title was used in a Trek film, but it works much better here and has a nice double meaning. In Hamlet, "the undiscovered country" is a reference to death itself, but here it can also refer the literal quest for the lost valley.
 

kongisking

Active member
Lance Quazar said:
Oh, man, that AICN contest infuriated me! The brain-damaged "judge" picked easily some of the worst, most obvious, most amateurish ideas imaginable. And one of the winners freely admitted he stole his idea from some EU Indy material.

But, for what it's worth, I'm reposting my entry here if anyone wants to read it -



Indiana Jones and the Undiscovered Country**

It’s 1960 and Indiana Jones has settled into a quiet life, embarking on a worldwide lecture tour with his wife and son. While in Paris, Dr. Jones is approached by a brash former archaeology student, LELAND.

Leland has information on how to obtain a rare copy of the Tibetan Book of the Dead which, he promises, will lead to a legendary beyul - a hidden Shangri La-esque utopia somewhere in the Himalayas, where the boundaries between the realms of life and death are at their most fragile.

Indy refuses to join Leland on his quest, but Mutt, having learned that Marion has recently been diagnosed with cancer – a secret she has been keeping from her family, goes with him, defying his father and bringing along Indy’s research. Having heard all about Indy’s adventures, Mutt hopes the mystical valley might contain a supernatural cure for his mother.

When his wife and son disappear without a trace, Indy is hot on the trail. The traitorous Leland, in cahoots with the Red Chinese, is desperate to find the beyul and uncover its powers.

No matter the outcome of the mission, Indy is confronted with the prospect of a profound loss. But he is desperate to shield his loved ones from the embrace of death for as long as possible. In the end, quests are abandoned, villains are vanquished, sacrifices are made and the Jones family learns the that the most precious treasure of all is life itself.


**Yes, I know the title was used in a Trek film, but it works much better here and has a nice double meaning. In Hamlet, "the undiscovered country" is a reference to death itself, but here it can also refer the literal quest for the lost valley.

That's a marvelous plot! You should join the experiment. :hat:
 

Dr. Gonzo

New member
Pale Horse said:
Easier not to address it. Let fan boys message forums ponder the exclusion of it for years to come. No harm, no foul.

Perhaps. But if the option on the table of Marion dying were enacted, it can be written off in one tiny line that sates the question. Example:

Code:
[FONT="Courier New"]               INT. BAR

               Blah, blah blah blah blah. Jones downs the rest of his liquor
               like a practiced champ -- The older female beside him is
               relentless.

                                   SEDUCTRESS
                         So ya got a wife? Kids?

                                   INDIANA JONES
                         Used to.

                                   SEDUCTRESS
                         Wife or kids?

                                   INDIANA JONES
                         Wife. Kid is in college.

               Jones summons the bartender for another batch of poison.[/FONT]

kongisking said:
So basically do what they did for The Dark Knight Rises concerning the Joker. :rolleyes:

That, I think, is one of the only few redeeming aspects of The Dark Knight Rises. It leaves well enough alone. This is a new story. The joker had no place in it...
why would you try and squeeze him in?
For the sake of squeezing him in? He served his purpose. And besides they made it clear that he went to jail at the end of that film.
Let's move on.

Lance Quazar said:
Gonzo,

I think you might be better off writing your own script rather than trying to herd cats here with a group-written effort.

Too many cooks and all.

Given that you've already written some great (but maddeningly incomplete!!!!!!) fan fic, I know I'd be very eager to see what you come up with....

Well you have indeed hit the very point of me initiating this exercise...

I don't mean to degrade the Indiana Jones legacy, but if I were to write something like this all it equates to is, essentially, a waste of time.

I already work on actual original projects/screenplays. I've sold two of them. In the end me writing my own "fan script" does nothing, gets me nowhere, in fact it would be a complete WASTE of time as nothing would ever happen with it and I'm trying to make my next pay check. I don't really have time to write anything like that nowadays.

But I figured if I shepard some of you guys through this as like a, I don't know, consigliere... then as a group undertaking it would be possible.
I think i just kinda dug the aspect of putting the pieces together with you all.

Laying out the story and the plot points and set pieces aren't the hard part...
anyone can say lets have a chase here and then the discovery of this here... it's the actual execution, the word for word writing of a draft -- that's the hard part.
 
Last edited:

kongisking

Active member
Dr. Gonzo said:
Why would you try and squeeze [The Joker] in?
For the sake of squeezing him in? He served his purpose. And besides they made it clear that he went to jail at the end of that film.
Let's move on.

I was just pointing out that the Mutt idea was similar to what Nolan did, not that I particularly agreed or disagreed with it. Just had to make it clear I wasn't stating an opinion. Sometimes I sound too much like that...:eek:

However, I have to reiterate that I strongly believe Mutt specifically has to, has to, at the very least be mentioned in the next film. Unlike Ledger, Mr. LaBeouf hasn't tragically died, so there's no sentimental reason to not acknowledge him. Mutt, whether the fans like it or not, is now a pivotal character in the Jones saga, and if he isn't featured, has to have an explanation for his absence.

Just my thinking, though.
 

Pale Horse

Moderator
Staff member
Dr. Gonzo said:
Code:
[FONT="Courier New"]               INT. BAR

               Blah, blah blah blah blah. Jones downs the rest of his liquor
               like a practiced champ -- The older female beside him is
               relentless.

                                   SEDUCTRESS
                         So ya got a wife? Kids?

                                   INDIANA JONES
                         Used to.

                                   SEDUCTRESS
                         Wife or kids?

                                   INDIANA JONES
                         Harumph. Kids...off chasing glory. 
[center]Wife's dead. And we're all better for it, 
ain't we doll...[/center]


               Jones distainfully summons the bartender for another batch of poison.[/FONT]

Come on Dr. G...make him Nasty.
 

Dr. Gonzo

New member
^ See folks?! Look at what just a touch of collaboration does...
Pale Horse's revision to those last lines just made it 11% better (maybe I'm low balling it).

This is what I'm talking about.

But I suppose the comments about too many cooks are actually accurate.
The only way I think we'll be able to get through this is
to elect our own George Lucas and Steven Spielberg to have the final say on what flys and what doesn't.
 
He averts his gaze, avoiding her doe eyes longing for the invitation (drink) that doesn't come.

The bartender pours and pauses forcing the issue.

Indy:"Leave the bottle..."
 

kongisking

Active member
Dr. Gonzo said:
^ See folks?! Look at what just a touch of collaboration does...
Pale Horse's revision to those last lines just made it 11% better (maybe I'm low balling it).

This is what I'm talking about.

But I suppose the comments about too many cooks are actually accurate.
The only way I think we'll be able to get through this is
to elect our own George Lucas and Steven Spielberg to have the final say on what flys and what doesn't.

Well, it only stands to reason that you be one of them, since this was your thread. As for which one you would be, Lucas or Spielberg, that's your call, I suppose. I just hope the other person chosen has sufficient passion for the character and his world. Because I get the feeling lots of folks on here are losing their interest in Indiana Jones entirely...:(
 

Dr. Gonzo

New member
kongisking said:
Well, it only stands to reason that you be one of them, since this was your thread. As for which one you would be, Lucas or Spielberg, that's your call, I suppose. I just hope the other person chosen has sufficient passion for the character and his world. Because I get the feeling lots of folks on here are losing their interest in Indiana Jones entirely...:(

Perhaps, if I was one of the "top men" I suppose I'd take the more minor role. But I agree, while I love the character I'm not really as passionate as others on here. There should be another, who has extensive knowledge and passion for the stories. But who? Who indeed.

Anyway started adding more to our pointless scene that has no context...
..just cause...

Code:
               INT. BAR

               Jones downs the rest of his liquor like a practiced champ --
               the older female beside him is relentless.

                                   SEDUCTRESS
                         So, ya got a wife? Kids?

                                   INDIANA JONES
                         Used to.

                                   SEDUCTRESS
                         Wife or kids?

                                   INDIANA JONES
                         Harumph. Kid's...off chasing glory.
                             (off her look)
                         Wife's dead. And we're all the
                         better for it...
                             (raises his empty glass)
                         Ain't we doll?

               Jones disdainfully summons the bartender for another batch of
               poison, adverting his gaze from her doe eyes -- longing for
               an invitation (drink) that doesn't come.

               The bartender pours -- pauses, forcing the issue.

                                   INDIANA JONES (CONT'D)
                         Leave the bottle...

               The seductress gets the hint and leaves him be, to search for
               the next "sucker".

               Jones downs more of the brown pain killer.

               A beat.

               A NEW WOMAN takes a seat besides Jones. Indy guffaws.

                                   INDIANA JONES (CONT'D)
                         Listen lady, can't you take a hint?

               Jones turns to see that in fact it's...
 
Last edited:

Pale Horse

Moderator
Staff member
'Yer mama jokes' won't work here, now...will they.

I glad you added Rocket's addition of the leaving the bottle. Genius stuff really. And like you say, the benefits of proactive collaboration

P.S. how you formatting it so well. When I went to edit yours...I got fluff....
 

Dr. Gonzo

New member
Pale Horse said:
P.S. how you formatting it so well. When I went to edit yours...I got fluff....

Yeah it does seem to fall apart editing it after the fact doesn't it...

I write it as a final draft document, then I simply choose "save as"
then click the option "text only with layout"
then quickly copy that text document and
paste it in between those "code tags"
Code:
 or whatever.

That's the trick.

"Next on 'Magic's Biggest Secrets Revealed'..."
 
INDIANA JONES (CONT'D)
Listen lady, can't you take a hint?

Jones turns to see that in fact it's...


Audrey, Bob Ross' little girl...not so little anymore.

Audrey Ross: I don't want to know what anyone in a place like this might hint. Your outfit doesn't exactly hint: "Professor"...

Indy: When in Rome...

Indy finishes his drink.

They share a quiet moment

Indy: (Wiping off the stool beside him) Sorry, please - sit.

Audrey: No, I can't stay...thankfully.

Indy scoffs.

She lays a parcel on the bar in front of Indy.
 

Lance Quazar

Well-known member
Indy takes a look at the parcel from Bob Ross' daughter -


masterkit_rossa.jpg


(sorry, I couldn't resist)
 

Dr. Gonzo

New member
So while we figure out this story, I decided to attach a beginning that I wrote for another thread awhile back to this thing.
Literally anything can happen now...
And this beginning should fit with just about anything we come up with.

The thing about this teaser is it in fact does show that Indy is out of commission, no longer an adventure seeker and something of a broken man.
I put the two pieces together and it worked out pretty good.
All together it's six pages long, which is perfect in terms of screenplay protocol.

Of course any of this can be changed at anytime, but try this on for size...

PART 1

Code:
               FADE IN:
                                    THE PARAMOUNT LOGO

               A DISSOLVE transforms the logo into:

                            THE PARAMOUNT LOGO (CIRCA 1940'S)

                                                           DISSOLVE TO:



               EXT. ISLAND IN THE SOUTH ATLANTIC - FROZEN BEACH - DAY

               An ICEBERG shaped like the Paramount logo drifts off the icy
               shore of an island, a frozen wasteland. A light snow falls.
               The setting almost seems FAKE.

               CAMERA PANS to the right of the iceberg.

               A snow covered beach -- A shelf of thin ice stretches out to
               the Atlantic Ocean. 

               THREE SETS OF FOOTPRINTS in the snow. They lead from the ice
               crusted shore to a small opening in the frozen rocky surface.
               A cave. A man made cave.

               A STRIKING SILHOUETTE enters view -- A man with a LEATHER
               JACKET AND A WORN GREY FEDORA has his back to us, examining
               the unnatural hole in the frozen rock. 

               TWO MEN follow closely behind him.

               The first man is heavy set in a late Marlon Brando sort of
               way. His face is chapped red by the cold, and from this we
               can tell he has no business out here. This is ORSON.

               The second man is much more accustomed to this weather. He
               seems to be an Eskimo or a Sherpa of some kind. This is
               AGUTA.

               Orson appears to be nervous, he'd be sweating if it weren't
               for the freezing temperatures.

                                   ORSON
                             (to man in fedora)
                         Yes. This is it. I told you I would
                         take you, but I am not going in
                         there.

               The man in the fedora ignores him.

                                   AGUTA
                         Very dangerous.

                                   ORSON
                             (to man in fedora)
                         Did you hear me Jones? I'm not
                         going in there! Indiana?

               The man in the fedora finally reveals his face to us -- it's
               CHARLETON HESTON!?!?

                                   CHARLETON HESTON
                         That's Doctor Jones to you, Orson.



               INT. MOVIE THEATER - SAME

               It is apparent now that WE ARE WATCHING A MOVIE of some kind
               based on Indiana Jones' adventures. Heston's face fills the
               BLACK AND WHITE SCREEN.

               The theater is only a quarter full of viewers. Some TEENAGERS
               MAKE OUT in the back. Others watch quietly. But some one is
               quietly GROANING AND GRUMBLING.

               DOLLY DOWN THE AISLE TO: A MAN WEARING A GREY FEDORA, his
               back to us. He casually takes a snork from a SMALL BOTTLE OF
               WHISKY -- doesn't seem to be enjoying the show.



               ON THE SCREEN

               "Indiana Jones" doesn't seem too happy with Orson.

                                   ORSON
                         I'm not going in there Doctor
                         Jones.

                                   CHARLETON HESTON
                         Oh yes you are.

               The three make their way into the man made cave.



               IN THE CAVE

               A TORCH IS LIT. Orson holds the torch as "Indy" leads them
               deeper into the cave. Aguta holds the rear.

                                   ORSON
                             It's so dark in here.

                                   CHARLETON HESTON
                         Hold your tongue and hold the
                         light.



               IN THE AUDIENCE

               The man in the grey fedora shakes his head in disgust.

                                   MAN IN FEDORA
                             (sarcastic)
                         Great line.



               ON THE SCREEN

               The three press on into the darkness. Finally a small light
               at the end of the tunnel.

                                   ORSON
                             (borderline bad acting)
                         I seriously am not going in there.

                                   AGUTA
                             (melodramatic serious)
                         Nobody is.

               Aguta pulls out a PISTOL and cocks the trigger hammer back.
               Without turning, "Indy" hears this, unfastens his BULLWHIP,
               then with lightning speed turns around and WHIPS THE GUN OUT
               OF AGUTA'S HAND!

               THE GUN GOES OFF, TRIGGERING AN AVALANCHE! The tunnel
               collapses on Aguta and Orson! "Indy" makes a run for his
               life! The collapse is hot on his heels. 

               (Boulder scene from "Raiders of the Lost Ark" anyone?)



               IN THE AUDIENCE

               The man in the fedora isn't buying it.

                                   MAN IN FEDORA
                             (surly)
                         That's not how it happened!

               The man in the fedora is becoming a nuisance to those around
               him. A THEATER USHER takes notice. "Not in my theater!"



               ON THE SCREEN

               Charleton Heston makes his final bolt out of the tunnel and
               leaps just as the tunnel collapses behind him. Safety.



               IN THE AUDIENCE

               The man in the fedora takes another quick swig.

                                   MAN IN FEDORA (CONT'D)
                             (slightly slurred)
                         That's not what happened at all. If
                         people only knew.

               A LIGHT SHINES on the back of the man's head.

                                   THEATER USHER
                         Sir, there is no drinking allowed
                         in the theater. I'm gonna have to
                         ask you to leave.

               The man in the grey fedora turns into the light revealing
               himself to be the real INDIANA JONES.

                                   INDY
                         Was just leaving anyway.

               Indiana Jones, famed archeologist, obtainer of rare
               antiquities... drunk -- picks himself out of the seat and
               drinks what is left of the bottle. He tosses it at the feet
               of the usher and casually walks out.



               EXT. DOWNTOWN CONNECTICUT - NIGHT

               Indy strolls out of the movie theater.

               A LEGEND READS:

               CONNECTICUT 1963
 

Dr. Gonzo

New member
PART 2

Code:
               EXT/ESTAB. BAR - NIGHT

               A seedy little bar illuminated by its own red neon light.



               INT. BAR

               Jones downs the rest of the liquor in his tumbler like a
               practiced champ. An OLDER FEMALE beside him is relentless.

                                   SEDUCTRESS
                         So, ya got a wife? Kids?

                                   INDIANA JONES
                         Used to.

                                   SEDUCTRESS
                         Wife or kids?

                                   INDIANA JONES
                             (clears throat)
                         Kid's...off chasing glory.
                             (off her look)
                         Wife's dead. And we're all the
                         better for it...
                             (raises his empty glass)
                         Ain't we doll?

               Jones disdainfully summons the BARTENDER for another batch of
               poison, adverting his gaze from her doe eyes. She longs for
               an invitation (drink) that doesn't come.

               The bartender pours -- pauses, forcing the issue.

                                   INDIANA JONES (CONT'D)
                         Leave the bottle...

               The seductress gets the hint and leaves him be, to search for
               the next "sucker".

               Jones downs more of the brown pain killer.

               A beat.

               A NEW WOMAN walks up besides him. Indy guffaws.

                                   INDIANA JONES (CONT'D)
                         Listen lady, can't you take a hint?

               Jones turns to see that in fact it's...

               AUDREY ROSS, Bob Ross' little girl -- not so little anymore.
               She's over dressed for this joint and all the male patrons
               take notice.

                                   AUDREY
                         I don't want to know what anyone in
                         a place like this might hint. Your
                         outfit doesn't exactly hint:
                         "Professor"...

                                   INDIANA JONES
                         When in Rome.

               Indy finishes his latest drink.

               They share a quiet moment.

                                   INDIANA JONES (CONT'D)
                             (wiping off the stool
                              beside him)
                         Sorry, please...sit Audrey.

                                   AUDREY
                         No. I mean I can't stay...
                         thankfully.

               Indy scoffs. She lays a PARCEL on the bar in front of him.

                                   INDIANA JONES
                         So, little Audrey Ross... How's
                         your pop doing these days?

                                   AUDREY
                         The General? He's dead.
                             (gestures to package)
                         Wanted you to have this.

               Indy soaks that bit of info in for a moment. Pours another
               drink for himself.

                                   INDIANA JONES
                         Bartender, one more glass.

                                   AUDREY
                         I told you, I can't stay.

               In the back of the bar, the seductress from earlier stares
               with blind jealousy at Audrey.

               The bartender brings over a glass, eyes the girl -- gives
               Indy a concerned look, insinuating the worst.

                                   BARTENDER
                             (you pervert)
                         A little young ain't she?

                                   AUDREY
                         It's not like that.

               Indy pours Audrey a drink.

                                   INDIANA JONES
                         To General Bob Ross.

               Audrey hesitates a moment -- accepts.

                                   AUDREY
                             (raises her glass)
                         To dad.

               They drink.
 
Top