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Old 11-21-2004, 02:27 AM   #101
Finn
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Well, as you seemingly find this type of jokes amusing, here goes...

President Bush was on a visit at a farm in Wyoming. There, he saw a little boy playing with horse droppings. Curious man he was, he closed in and asked the boy what is he doing.

"This is the government," the boy replied. "This one's Rice, this is Rumsfeld... that slightly bigger one is Cheney, after all, he is more important, right?"

"I see," Bush said and smiled, obviously amused by the kid's antics. "And which one of them is the President?"

"There is no president... I haven't found that big pieceas**t yet!"
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Old 12-01-2004, 03:53 PM   #102
the hammer42
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CIA

The CIA had an opening for an assassin.
After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done,
there were three finalists... two men and a woman. For the final test,
the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him
a gun. "We must know that you will follow our instructions, no matter
what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife
sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!"

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot My wife." The
agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife
and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went
into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came
out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The
agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn.
She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the
gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another.
They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few
minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the
woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with
blanks", she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

Moral: Women are evil. Don't mess with them.
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Old 12-15-2004, 01:40 AM   #103
MP3
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Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."

"We're short-handed, Smith," the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."

"Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"
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