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Old 06-24-2006, 04:40 AM   #1
Doctor Jones'89
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You've got sense of humor: show it here!

Post on this thread your gags and have a fun!!
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Old 06-24-2006, 04:42 AM   #2
Doctor Jones'89
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So I'll begin:
"I call my girl Napalm because she's soooo hot!"
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Old 06-24-2006, 04:51 AM   #3
qwerty
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Funny
I call her IPod becouse more and more people are having her and I do not like that.
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Old 06-25-2006, 05:56 AM   #4
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Yours is funny too!
Mmmmh let me think...
Ah, yes that's it:" I call her rainbow because she lets me see of all the colours"
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Old 06-25-2006, 06:28 AM   #5
Jay R. Zay
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reading here i'm just realizing fatal lack of humor, i think...
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Old 06-25-2006, 07:16 AM   #6
qwerty
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay R. Zay
reading here i'm just realizing fatal lack of humor, i think...
I see your point. It sounded funny at first, but it isn't any more.
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Old 06-25-2006, 07:35 AM   #7
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well, i'll try something different, a funny phone conversation i had recently.

i was calling hospital ward A1 because i was missing an EDTA test tube for an analysis on vitamin B1.

me: central lab, hello, i'm missing an EDTA tube of Mr. Müller.
A1: hm let me see. this was for vitamin B6, wasn't it?
me: nope, EDTA is for B1.
A1: oh, then you have the wrong number, this is ward A1.

it's a worrying fact that i have conversations like this almost every day.
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Old 06-25-2006, 09:20 AM   #8
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Did you ever think that the problem has something to do with you.
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Old 06-25-2006, 09:26 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by qwerty
Did you ever think that the problem has something to do with you.

i should have added that i'm not the only one in the lab who has this problem with the wards. but then again, if you would like to share your views...
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Old 06-25-2006, 12:14 PM   #10
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You smell like wood
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Old 06-25-2006, 01:08 PM   #11
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Here's a good one. There's only three people left on a plane and it's dropping altitude fast. It's going to crash. On the plane their is Bill Gates, a buddist and a hippie there's only two parachutes left. Bill Gates grabs a pack and says "Well I'm the most intelegant man in the world and I must live. So he jumps. The buddist turns to the hippie and smiles and rasies his hand. "Child I have lived an honorable life and I must realize that Budda has called my name to join in in my afterlife. The hippie looks at the buddist and says "Hey brother you don't need to stay behind! "Why is that?" the buddist asks. Because the smartest man in the world grabbed my backpack!
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Old 06-26-2006, 03:57 AM   #12
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I quote a classic:
Bart: Uh, Amanda Huggenkiss?
Moe: Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss! Ah, why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss?
Barney: Maybe your standards are too high...
Moe: You little S.O.B.! Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage sown your throat and stick starving dogs up your butt!
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Old 06-27-2006, 02:41 PM   #13
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Hey c'mon let's show us what you got!!
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Old 06-27-2006, 03:01 PM   #14
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Johan's Collection of Word Meanings

Laughingstock: an amused herd of cattle.
Coffee: one who is coughed upon
Eyedropper: a clumsy optometrist
Paradox: two physicians
Flabbergasted: appalled over how much weight you've gained
Balderdash: a rapidly receding hairline
Zebra: ze garment which covers ze bosom
Algebra: a fungi which grows on an undergarment
Lemon: a French Rastaman
Cardiology: the study of card games
Monopoly: poor poly's disease
Carpet: A furry companion living in your dashboard
Unroll : A breadstick
Asertain: a well defined buttox
Neighbours: The sound a horse makes when it is bored
Asphalt: An Urn you keep a dead loved one in
Baseboard: a four stringed instrument that rarely gets any use
Mountain Range: A stove used for cooking at high altitudes.
Sterio: The new rival to your favorate cookie
Rasin Bread: "He was Raised Imbred!"
Mutant: The opposite of a talkative ant
Mouse pad: For those "light days" for your pet rodent
Window: First place in a baking contest
Kleenex: A richer part of a red neck community
Tomato: the process of what happens when there are too many horomones in your toes
People: A mark put out to determine where one has gone to the washroom
Locusts: When one swears silently
Gaping: Shopping at the Gap
Kingdom: the intelectual status of Prince Charles in a few years
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Old 06-27-2006, 11:57 PM   #15
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That's funny!!!!!!!!
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Old 06-28-2006, 11:05 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by temple of john
Little Boy Blue...he needed the money.

OOHHHHHH!!!!


Ah the dice man! What happened to him!

Jack and Jill Went up the hill . . . to f***!
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Old 07-01-2006, 03:56 AM   #17
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I have an open mind...but DAMN my brain always fall out!
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Old 07-12-2006, 10:52 PM   #18
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Definition of:
Denial - 1. A long river in Egypt
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Old 07-31-2006, 01:30 PM   #19
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A missionary is sent into the deepest, darkest part of Africa to live with a tribe.

He spends years with the people, teaching them to read and write, and preaching to them about the good Christian ways of the white man.

One thing he particularly stresses is the evils of sexual sin: Thou must not commit adultery or fornication!

One day, the wife of one of the tribe's noblemen gives birth to a white baby.

The village is shocked and the chief is sent to talk with the missionary.

"You have taught us of the evils of sexual sin, yet here, a black woman gives birth to a white child. You are the only white man who has ever set foot in our village. Even Stevie Wonder could see what's been going on!"

The missionary replies, "No, no. You are mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what is called an albino. Look to thy yonder field. See the flock of white sheep, and yet amongst them, one of them is black. Nature does this on occasion."

"Tell you what," the chief says, "You never mention the sheep again, and I won't say anything about the baby."
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Old 08-01-2006, 01:53 PM   #20
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Indiana Jones oppresses Mexico

!Baila para me!
/
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Old 09-27-2006, 11:04 PM   #21
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I don't have a library card, but baby can I check you out?

You must have fallen from heaven, that would explain how you messed up your face.

Things you can say to about your bike/house/boat/etc but not your girlfriend

Hop on, let's see what this baby can do!!

She's takin' on water!!

Yea, I mostly come in through the back door.

You can fit 5 people on this thing.

Fine, go ahead and ride her, everbody else has.

Unhelpful or extremely short Self Help books

Fidelity is everything by Bill Clinton

How to Enunciate while singing by by Kurt Cobain

Dealing with Dysfunction by Ozzie Ozbourne

Getting Women by Drew Carey
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