Clinton gone wild!

Everywhere I look these days. What could soothe his nerves?

The Nation:
When Guy Saperstein, a retired lawyer from Oakland, asked Clinton if Democrats who supported the war should apologize, the former President "went f------ ballistic," according to Saperstein. Forget Hillary, Clinton said angrily during a ten-minute rant; if I was in Congress I would've voted for the war. "It was an extraordinary display of anger and imperiousness," Saperstein says.

The New Yorker:
Clinton and his entourage all had to ride in "one white van." Outside the weather was "hot and steamy." The van was cramped and stuffy and the windows were all closed... Then, "unaccountably," Clinton absently reached up and, with a flick, shut off the air-conditioning. Very soon the air inside the van was stale and overheated. [Clinton aide Eric] Nonacs didn't realize who had shut off the air and said, "Hey, isn't there any air in here? What's the air-conditioning situ--" He was in mid-syllable when [Clintonite Ira] Magaziner and [former Clinton chief of staff John] Podesta turned to him, their eyes wide. Nonacs, thankfully, was quick to understand. We rode another half hour until finally someone intuited that Clinton's mood had passed and a brave soul turned on the A.C.

It'd be WAY more interesting if it was, I promise you

Sure, till you lifted your top, then it'd be quiet as an irish marsh during a new moon in October.

Read that how you want, it's said all in good fun.

I'd be pissed off too if the current administration were trying to shift the blame for 9/11 onto me.

I, too, clicked on the thread thinking it was about Clinton Hammond.

But I was disappointed to learn that it was about just one of the masses of lying politicians.

Clinton was nothing more than a skirt chasing, cigar placing, load busting, Democrat.

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Yeah, and?

Wouldn't Bill Clinton make a great comedy-relief Indy sidekick?

1997: Clinton has not been above poking fun at his own initiatives back home. Touring the anthropology museum in Mexico City on Monday, he considered the impact on childhood development, one of his pet issues, of flattening infants' skulls, a practice of one ancient culture there. ''It depends whether you read to them and sing to them while you're squeezing their heads,'' he mused.

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Then, red line from Mexico to Peru, to examine...

"Juanita," a newly discovered Incan mummy exhibited at the National Geographic museum in 1996. "You know, if I were a single man, I might ask that mummy out. That's a good-looking mummy," Clinton famously remarked. (Mike McCurry joked to reporters afterwards: "Probably she does look good compared to the mummy he's been [expletive deleted].")

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temple of john said:

I actually thought this thread was about Clinton Hammond.

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LOL!
thats the exact same reason i came to check it out

Just before the credits roll, Bill's hat falls at Chelsea's feet.
The adventure continues! Coming soon:
"Chelsea Clinton and the Ass of Life."

(It really is hard finding material for this thread. Thanks for your patience.)

Not EXACTLY what this thread was started about, but why start another?

Other women, though, were not so demure when it came to crushing on the commander-in-chief. Parker Aab writes that Kate Capshaw, Steven Spielberg?s wife, was not immune to Clinton?s allure.

She recounts a visit to the Spielbergs? Hamptons home on Georgica Pond, when Capshaw decided to greet the presidential motorcade in her bathing suit.

Shocked that no one seemed to mind the fashion faux pas but herself, Parker Aab writes: ?To [Hillary] Clinton, Ms. Capshaw might have just been another woman showing off her best bits to the President. Mrs. Clinton had seen this scene before.?

So says former political staffer Stacy Parker Aab, who claims she had her own close call, sexually, with the President in the new HarperCollins book "Government Girl: Young and Female in the White House," slated for a January release

Shia has passed (for now) on a biopic in which he would have met a young Clinton in the 1970's.
But how about a Clinton cameo in Indy 5?

Clinton said he first visited Times Square in 1964 when he was a freshman at Georgetown University. He said he saw "a hooker approach a man in a gray flannel suit."
"I still have vivid memories of it," he said. "Romantic. Fascinating. It was dangerous."

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A peek inside...

Bill Clinton should be elected Emperor of the Universe...

Remember it's better to have B*** job's than No Jobs!

Remember, it was all just a big misunderstanding. Bill's breakfast had been brought in. The bacon was frazzled, the eggs too runny, and the toast was black. He was furious.

He turned to Monica and said: "Hold my calls and go down and sack my cook right now!"

Franklin Roosevelt liked girls, also.

Dan Quayle, Bob Dole and Bill Clinton are in a car when a tornado whirls them up in the air and deposits them in the Land of Oz.

They set off to see the Wizard and Quayle says "I'm going to ask him for a brain", Dole says "I'm going to ask him or a heart". Clinton says "Where's Dorothy?"




President Clinton and the Pope died on the same day, but there was a mix up and Clinton was sent to heaven and the Pope went to hell.

God sorted it out the next day. As the Pope was on his way upstairs he bumped into Bill on his way down. Excitedly, the Pope said "I can't wait to see the Virgin Mary".

Clinton replied: "Sorry, you're a day late"

Apart from Socks the cat and Buddy the dog, the Clintons also had a parrot as a pet during their tenure in the White House...

The President and his family have been away on an trip and are due to return. An aide is checking up the first family's private quarters that everything is in order, when she notices that the bird cage door is open, and the bird itself gone. She goes to look far and wide over the premises, but no visual. Socks does appear particularly smug though.

Finally, the aide figures there's nothing else to do than to go find a replacement. After touring nearly every pet shop in the greater DC area, she comes across a bird that's a dead ringer to the missing one. The clerk warns her though, that the bird is not suitable as a pet for the faint of heart; it used to be a decoration in one of the town's seediest strip joints and during its stay there picked up some words one certainly wouldn't wish to present in front of their dear old grandma.

The aide decides to get the bird regardless. Sighing a breath of relief, she places the replacement parrot into the cage and double checks that the latch is in place.

The First Family returns. First to enter the room is Clintons' daughter, Chelsea.

"Too young!" the bird squeaks immediately. "Show ID!"

As the girl is giving the bird a quizzical look, Hillary enters.

"Too old! Not hiring!" goes the bird.

Then, the man himself comes to see what's all the commotion about...

"Regular customer! Regular customer! Heeeello Bill!"






The Obamas have invited the Clintons to a private dinner. During the meal, Hillary can't help but be impressed by the good manners of the Obama children.

"Thank heavens Barack didn't get elected any sooner," says Michelle. "It would have been a mess down here if those two firebrands were any younger. Constantly crawling around on their knees, sticking all kinds of stuff in their mouths..."

"I certainly still remember when ours used to do that too," responds Hillary. "Right, Bill? BILL?!"

Clinton, who has been sitting there in his chair, staring into distance with a wide smile snaps back into it.

"Yeah, of course I remember. No, wait... were you talking about Chelsea?"

A group of surgeons were discussing who is the easiest to operate on.

One reckoned engineers because their insides are colour coded.

Another said librarians because their insides are arranged in alphabetical order.

The third said Bill Clinton - because he has no guts, no spine, no heart and his brain and manhood are interchangeable.







Why did Clinton buy his new dog?

So Hillary won't be suspicious when she overhears him in the Oval Office saying: "Lie on the floor, roll over on your back".

What do Dan Quayle, Dick Cheney and Bill Clinton have in common?

They all know how it feels to walk down to the Oval Office to work with a Bush.






One day as President Clinton was getting off the Marine One in front of the White House, he had a baby pig under each arm.

The Marine guard snapped to attention, salutes, and said: ''Nice pigs, sir.''

The President replied: ''These are not just some common pigs, these are authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Hillary, and I got this other for Chelsea.''

The Marine again snapped to attention, saluted, and replied: ''Nice trade, sir!'''

While Hillary recovers...

Homeland actress Claire Danes received a surprise invitation from former President Bill Clinton to "come and meet him in some special room" after the Golden Globes Sunday night. Danes arrived to see Clinton in conversation with Jessica Alba and Rosario Dawson.

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She was "touched." Mission successful, wingman Spielberg.