Indiana Jones and the Haunter of the Dark

Dark Horse

New member
Here's a dio sory I've been working on. I'll post it in chapters. It's not finished yet, but I reckon it will be about 15 chapters long.

Please note that this is my ideal Indy. He's a bit rougher round the edges (like Raiders Indy) than what Indy has become these days. There's mild swearing (but nothing that hasn't been heard in any Indy films), so please don't complain.

I also checked the ultimate guide so timescales and stuff should be fairly accurate, but I haven't read every detail in every book so please don't jump on any mistakes unless they really are that bad.

I'll probably edit a few bits here and there as I go. I'll note the changes here as I do that. ;)

Hope you all enjoy it.
 
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Dark Horse

New member
Chapter 1 -

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The Drifter

New member
I enjoyed this a lot! Great job, and I can't wait for more!
Wish I had some figures now to start my own like this.
 

Lance Quazar

Well-known member
Dark Horse!

Bravo! This is off to a terrific start.

The comic book style you're using here is terrific. I remember many discussions back on yakface a few years ago about the benefits of the comic book style vs. the traditional "single frame" layout and I think the comic book style really adds a lot.

Great use of effects sounds, balloons, etc.

The shots look great - well-lit and well-composed. Great variety in shots between long shots, medium shots, etc.

My only minor nitpick in this regard is that I would avoid as many high angle shots as you can. It's not a major concern here at all, as there are only a few and the angles are not really that high.

But I've seen people do "bird's eye view" shots in other stories which really just make the toys look like, well, toys. The more low angle shots looking straight at your figures the better. It's very difficult in this case, since you're on the ground and cannot get yourself and camera lower than the figures. You work around this obstacle very well!

In fact, despite the fact that you're using real, full-size plants and landscaping, you do a great job of disguising that fact and making it look like real jungle for Indy and his pursuers.

I think the use of the more-articulated Wolverine figure as your base was another brilliant move, giving you a greater variety of possible action poses for Indy, making him far more dynamic.

Nice subtle customs with the Nazi figures, too.

I did have a few questions about the story.

I wasn't sure in the beginning if Indy was trying to get TO the location of the skull. The reveal that he already had the skull was surprising - is that what you were going for?

Maybe you should have mentioned Indy already had the skull and was escaping?

Along the same lines, I was curious as to why the Nazis kept saying "get him, find HIM", and didn't mention the skull at all. Presumably, that was their goal?

All in all, I think one or two more bits of information about the skull - either in dialogue or in captions - would have helped. Why are the Nazis after this particular artifact? Presumably it has some kind of mystical properties? They're not just after gold. Or are they?

Oh, and why did the Nazi captain order his two men to be killed? I didn't quite buy that moment.

Of course, it's perfectly fine that you don't hand us all the answers in the first chapter! Some mystery is all well and good. But I was just slightly confused about these issues.

While we only get a taste of it, I like the "rough around the edges" indy that you're going for here, which seems very appropriate given the early time period. I think it definitely fits that Indy would still be a bit cruder and a bit rougher in his younger years.

The ending DEFINITELY came as a surprise! Great shock and great cliffhanger. I'm looking forward to seeing the integration of the pulpy, sci-fi, "dieselpunk" elements into the story.

All in all, off to a wonderful start, I am very eager to see the continuation of your story! Well done!
 

Dr. Gonzo

New member
Based on your poster, is it possible we are going to see Cthulhu?

Great stuff by the way. Keep it coming!
 

Billy Ray

Well-known member
I was wondering the same thing Dr Gonzo.

DH, great work, really enjoyed it and am looking forward to more!

On the topic of the custom figures, I too like the choice of the woverine body for Indy and love how you swapped out the hands for different scenes. It added an extra bit of realism to the whole thing.

Story wise, I was wondring why Indy didn't grab the SMG from the first guy he whipped?
 

Lance Quazar

Well-known member
DH,

don't forget to post this on rebelscum, either in the Indy forum
or the photonovel forum (even though that place is a friggin'
ghost town - at least for PNs, not for artwork.)

Yakface also has a mildly active PN forum, though the participation of commenters is not what it once was.

But definitely get this out there to as many venues as possible!

It needs to be seen.
 

Dark Horse

New member
Thanks guys.

Pretty much all the answers will be forthcoming in the next few chapters.

Indy didn't have time to grab the gun as the pursuing Nazis were right on his heels. It would have killed the chase aspect as well.

The German Captain was following orders that any soldiers who showed complete ineptitude would be shot on the spot. I've since changed the dialogue in that bit. The jokey complaint by the other german is a bit crap.

The Golden skull is just a throw away maguffin to place Indy in Macapa. It has no relevance to the overall story. Things will all reveal themselves, don't worry. ;)
 

Dark Horse

New member
A few notes also - I used the Macapa location because of the Hellboy Nazi connection. I'm a massive HB fan as well. ;) It also ties in with Crystal skull, for reasons that will be explained later (don't worry, they are just character and history references; there's no CS crap gonna happen haha)

This first chapter was all shot in my back garden.

I'll post chapter 2 in a few days.
 

Lance Quazar

Well-known member
Dark Horse said:
The Golden skull is just a throw away maguffin to place Indy in Macapa. It has no relevance to the overall story. Things will all reveal themselves, don't worry. ;)

Excellent. I had the feeling that the sequence was just an Indy prologue in the "classic" (non KOTCS) style - a stand-alone adventure that would have little to do with the rest of the movie, except as a means to establish characters or themes.

In that context, it all makes sense. The Nazis don't care about the skull, they were always after Indy himself (I'm guessing). Great misdirect, it works beautifully with the surprise ending.

Keep up the great work, can't wait for part 2.
 

Stoo

Well-known member
Dark Horse, I was enjoying it up until the point where the robot showed up.(n) Other than that, you've done a splendid job with the photos, the word ballons, bullet streaks & blood, etc. and the general, comic-book-page format. This is one of the better fan projects to appear here in quite a while so I'm looking forward to more (if you ditch the robot, that is).;)

P.S. In case you haven't seen it yet, this thread may interest you: Your Figures In Action! (with PICS!)
 

Dark Horse

New member
Thanks fellas.

The Sci Fi aspect is vital to the story. It will all be explained.

I think folk who are familiar with H.P. Lovecraft's work are going to enjoy this more than those who aren't.
 

Stoo

Well-known member
Dark Horse said:
The Sci Fi aspect is vital to the story. It will all be explained.
The sci-fi aspect has now killed my enjoyment of your project. Shame you took that route.:( Sorry, Dark Horse!:hat:
 

The Drifter

New member
I've got to echo Stoo's statement. While you've done an outstanding job setting these panels up, the sci-fi fell flat.
I will still continue reading it, but I hope it will change course.
 

Lance Quazar

Well-known member
You guys (Stoo, Drifter) suck. This is a seriously impressive effort.

I will admit, Sci-Fi Indy would not be my preference, either.

But, in spite of those preferences, I found this impossible not to enjoy.

It's an action packed ride. The last panel is sensational. The action scenes are kinetic and very entertaining.

I admit, the exposition and the sci-fi mumbo-jumbo did drag a little bit. It does seem to hew a little too closely to KOTCS for my tastes (alien artifact with strange powers, etc.)

When you mentioned Hellboy, I thought you were going more in that direction, as the Hellboy universe is filled with weird tech, bizarre creatures, every kind of occult belief/mythology under the sun. But I don't think (and I have admittedly only read a fraction of the Hellboy/BPRD books) that they have used aliens. To my mind, aliens and Indy are not an ideal mixture.

However, there is still a lot of enjoy here and I overcame my prejudices based on how much fun it all was.

Indy's dialogue was very good.

The sets, filled with do-dads from various action figure lines, was imaginatively put together. Good customs, too.

I do have a few nitpicks regarding story.

I thought it was disappointing that Indy does nothing at all to assist in his own escape.

He is rescued by people we have never heard of before and that feels a little like a cheat.

Okay, in fairness, Indy did say he was waiting for "Ackbar", but we're led to believe it's just one guy, not a well-armed commando team.

I would have liked it if those characters were at least hinted at to a greater degree. Or if Indy had at least done something to distract the bad guys or something so that he literally isn't just a helpless damsel until he is saved by his friends.

Anyway, keep these coming, DK. I am enjoying this tale very much. Thanks for sharing!!
 

The Drifter

New member
Lance Quazar said:
You guys (Stoo, Drifter) suck. This is a seriously impressive effort.

Um, I did say that this project was outstanding. I'm just not keen on the direction that it has took. Aren't Stoo and I entitled to our opinion?
Dark Horse did post this for the world to see, after all. And, I assume he knew he would get feedback (either good or bad).
 
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