Kingdom #1 on Total Film 50 most disappointing list

Stoo

Well-known member
Dr.Jonesy said:

Stoo, I'm so glad you're this interested in me to the point where you've memorized everything I write.
:)
Find something more to do with your time and I'd hardly call a T-Shirt "owning merchandise".
You wrote that you "don't own one piece of merchandise" and you have more than just that shirt.

Anyway, why have you been pretending to be 10 years older than you really are?:confused:
 

AndyLGR

Active member
Stoo said:
This isn't the 1st time you've said that. Why have you been lying about your age lately?:confused: These past few years were your late teens because you were 15 when "Crystal Skull" came out.:gun:
What a bunch of bull. You do own merchandise and the only Indy movie release you were alive for was "Kingdom"
Maybe that explains the love for it. My son is similar. He's seen the originals on DVD, yet the only one he's seen at the cinema and was alive for was KOTCS (he's now 14). Its his 2nd favourite Indy movie behind TOD. Possibly it's an age thing then.
 

Dr. Gonzo

New member
AndyLGR said:
Maybe that explains the love for it. My son is similar. He's seen the originals on DVD, yet the only one he's seen at the cinema and was alive for was KOTCS (he's now 14). Its his 2nd favourite Indy movie behind TOD. Possibly it's an age thing then.

This may make sense as the younger kids nowadays dig the Star Wars prequels ... never saw it that way.
 

AndyLGR

Active member
Dr. Gonzo said:
This may make sense as the younger kids nowadays dig the Star Wars prequels ... never saw it that way.
Yeah my son loves the prequels too. Maybe we are miserable old gits too ;)
 

kongisking

Active member
Rocket Surgeon said:
I'm here!

I guess the place to start is your penchant for ignoring or forgiving the flaws of films and focusing on the virtues.

What flaw would Skull have had to have to make it hard to impossible for you to ignore?

A section where they all turn into South Park cut-outs?

I guess my personal philosophy is that even with bad films, it is worthwhile to focus more on its virtues, if any, and commend it for those, while condemning it for its flaws. If the virtues outweigh the bad stuff, then I call it a good film. Other way around, it's awful. I like to think every film ever made is either a good movie with some bad things, or a bad movie with some good things. It's just me trying to be fair to each movie, as I recognize a lot of work goes into these things, and therefore I feel like it's slightly disrespectful to outright dismiss even bad films entirely, out of respect for the men and women who put blood, sweat and tears into making them. Especially, when the bad films DO have some good to recommend them for.

A good example of how I view bad movies is Transformers 2, which I would genuinely call one of the worst films ever made. However, I am fully willing to commend it for the little things it gets right. Such as: I like the Optimus Prime fight in the forest. Incredible visuals, there. And I still enjoyed Shia's performance, in spite of the terrible material given to him. Also I really love John Turturro in those films. I just find his character hysterically funny.

So there's an example of my thought process behind reviewing films. With KOTCS, it really came down to me choosing the good over the bad. And there's definitely the bias of a person who wants so badly to love a new Indy film in there too, so I may be delusional, too...:rolleyes:

Now, if KOTCS had had something like Indy talking to animals or singing, it would probably be too much for me to take, I'll admit...that stuff is the realm of Disney, not Dr. Jones! :p
 

Dr. Gonzo

New member
AndyLGR said:
Maybe we are miserable old gits too ;)

Ya, but kids also like this...

yo-gabba-gabba03.jpg


...so... ya know?
 

Montana Smith

Active member
What's with the knobbly d1ldo on the left? And Ron Jeremy a few pages back?

Even if it had been In Diana Jones With a Crystal Vibrator Kingdom would still have been #1 on the 50 most disappointing porno films of all time.
 

Dr. Gonzo

New member
Montana Smith said:
What's with the knobbly d1ldo on the left? And Ron Jeremy a few pages back?

Even if it had been In Diana Jones With a Crystal Vibrator Kingdom would still have been #1 on the 50 most disappointing porno films of all time.

Bwahahaha! Smiffy is cracking the code.
 

LeHah

New member
I think "Total Film readers" misunderstood the concepts between "most disappointing" and "movies they didn't like".

But the list wasn't to create discussion, simply bolster old established hatreds. Its a very "safe" list, written for common idiots to feel smart. "My opinion is bolstered by something I found in print! Other people agree with me! I must be part of a larger, thinking group and this proves it!"

Silly, badly reasoned thinking. Indy 4 is my least favorite of the series but it's still a fun time and perfectly defendable provided the person you're talking to has a pair of functioning synapses.

"(Successful newspapers) never defend anyone; if forced to, they do so by denouncing someone else " - HL Mencken
 

Montana Smith

Active member
LeHah said:
I think "Total Film readers" misunderstood the concepts between "most disappointing" and "movies they didn't like".

But the list wasn't to create discussion, simply bolster old established hatreds. Its a very "safe" list, written for common idiots to feel smart. "My opinion is bolstered by something I found in print! Other people agree with me! I must be part of a larger, thinking group and this proves it!"

Indeed.

The fact that Sucker Punch even appears anywhere on that list proves part of your point.

The "common idiots" were "disappointed" with Sucker Punch as they were too dumb to grasp that the partial intention of the film was to attack the kind of movie they expected it to be.

KOTCS, on the other hand, was a movie aimed precisely at those "common idiots". But succeeded in just being idiotic itself. ;)
 

Nurhachi1991

Well-known member
Freaking Star wars is always ahead of Indiana Jones.... It get's tv shows,comics,books, toys, video games and everything under the sun


and the ONE time Indy is number 1 on a list it's for a disappointment...




:mad:
 
LeHah said:
Silly, badly reasoned thinking. Indy 4 is my least favorite of the series but it's still a fun time and perfectly defendable provided the person you're talking to has a pair of functioning synapses.

"(Successful newspapers) never defend anyone; if forced to, they do so by denouncing someone else " - HL Mencken

Yeah, but it was disappointing, even if this weren't an Indiana Jones board. The fact that it made an all time list just illustrates the goodwill Indy (had) has...

What film was more disappointing in your eyes?

"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy so I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too." - R. Dangerfield
 
Phantom Menace and Matrix Sequels are tops for me

And Quantum of Solace isnt that bad after repeat viewing, watching it immediately after Casino Royale like both were one 3 1/2 hr movie....biggest Bond disappointment to me to date is Diamonds are Forever.
 

AndyLGR

Active member
featofstrength said:
Phantom Menace and Matrix Sequels are tops for me

And Quantum of Solace isnt that bad after repeat viewing, watching it immediately after Casino Royale like both were one 3 1/2 hr movie....biggest Bond disappointment to me to date is Diamonds are Forever.
Yes the Matrix sequels werent great by any stretch. But I still think Phantom Menace is better than those and also KOTCS. Diamonds are Forever is a good call too, especially as it was Connery and the most disappointing aspect is its a more light hearted Bond movie than the ones he did previously, I think that one set the tone for the Moore version of Bond.
 

Mickiana

Well-known member
Rocket Surgeon said:
Yeah, but it was disappointing, even if this weren't an Indiana Jones board. The fact that it made an all time list just illustrates the goodwill Indy (had) has...

Well put. 'Most disappointing' doesn't mean 'worst', as in worst movies of all time. It's relative, because CS is a descendant of Raiders. CS should have been better, even if that means having been a very different movie, in fact that would have been necessary come to think of it!
 

LeHah

New member
Rocket Surgeon said:
Yeah, but it was disappointing, even if this weren't an Indiana Jones board.

I'm going to reply to this with an email a close friend sent me when Crystal Skull originally hit theaters. The language is a little strong but I think it suits the purpose of the point he was trying to get across...

Self respect demands that you defriend these people. Never speak to
them again. They are a cancer. What they spread is the kind of crap
that eats away at the soul and makes a point of preventing you from
ever enjoying anything again. I am absolutely serious.

If they released Last Crusade today, that part of the internet would
be furious about how it wasn't as serious and dark as Temple of Doom
and how awful it was that it used characters from the original movie
instead of a new supporting cast. And here's the thing: the internet
would be *right* on every single critical point except the one that
actually matters - that Last Crusade was a great movie and a heck of a
lot of fun to go see.

Here's what the stupids on the internet don't get: academic
criticism is a *game*, not a science. Here is how the game works: in
any single situation ever it is possible to use your tiny human brain
to break apart any piece of art. Anyone can come up with pretty words
to explain why every movie or book or painting in the universe has
some terrible flaw. And it will sound especially convincing to idiots.

It's something English majors and people who glue dinosaurs back
together do to pass the time without taking even slightly seriously
that somehow got picked up by worst scum imaginable. That crap is what
happens when your little brother finds your Magic cards - he thinks
it's so cool that his vast intellectual superior has fun with this and
so he makes up his own rules, tears up the cards in frustration and
drools all over the place. In this case, I'm absolutely sure that I'm
not speaking figuratively.

Here's the bottom line: Crystal Skull was a good time. It makes all
the mistakes we imagined it would... it manages to make some of them
work in ways we never expected and falls flat on others. It also does
a lot of other *entertaining* (oh my!) things that I hadn't counted
on. I left the theater happy and I am much, much smarter than anyone
on your friends list.

CONCEPTUAL SPOILERS FOLLOW:

The amazing thing about Crystal Skull is that it's just another
Indiana Jones movie. It's abjectly not the brooding twilight farewell
movie we all assumed it would be. Spielberg/Lucas/whoever made this
movie (hurrr - nobody actually cares) managed to make a movie that
pretends we've been watching Indiana Jones movies for the past 19
years and that this is another one of them. The movie actually
directly apologizes for the fact that this didn't really happen at one
point. It's very cool.

It goes through hoop after hoop after hoop to create this illusion.
When Spielberg says it's just another movie, he's not trying to
deflect criticism -- he's directly stating the point of the film. I
could go on and on about what it does well and what it screws up (it
does many things well and screws up many others)... but whats the
point. Go have a good time at the movies.


What film was more disappointing in your eyes?

I'm not sure about disappointed - that is such a specific emotional thing, I don't know if I can explain it? - but I can make a list of a bunch of far, far worse movies starting with Nolan's Batman films and going straight through Prometheus, that newer Spider-Man and heaps of other schlock.
 

Montana Smith

Active member
Disappointment is merely a reflection of the result versus the expectation.

Since I had no anticipation, and therefore no expectation, for KOTCS, its position on the list is really irrelevant.

My reaction is that it was an uninvolving and poorly constructed exercise in exploiting a character already in the popular consciousness.

In the end I only viewed it because I relented to curiosity.

I wanted to see if it was as ridiculous as it looked in the trailers that had played on television. It was certainly not a film I intended to see in a cinema. Why break a tradition of never having seen an Indy film in the cinema? And it was certainly not a film I intended to buy on disc at retail.

I do find it curious, however, that a film so obviously intended for the under-twelves ended up with a PG-13 certificate. ;)
 

kongisking

Active member
Montana Smith said:
Disappointment is merely a reflection of the result versus the expectation.

Since I had no anticipation, and therefore no expectation, for KOTCS, its position on the list is really irrelevant.

My reaction is that it was an uninvolving and poorly constructed exercise in exploiting a character already in the popular consciousness.

In the end I only viewed it because I relented to curiosity.

I wanted to see if it was as ridiculous as it looked in the trailers that had played on television. It was certainly not a film I intended to see in a cinema. Why break a tradition of never having seen an Indy film in the cinema? And it was certainly not a film I intended to buy on disc at retail.

I do find it curious, however, that a film so obviously intended for the under-twelves ended up with a PG-13 certificate. ;)

Am I allowed to be slightly insulted by the unspoken accusation that those who loved it have the intellect of someone under twelve?
 
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