Okay sports fans... here's the Indy answer to
this.
AFC East
New England = Belloq (It seems like he's always winning... Which everybody resents.)
New York Jets = Monkey Man (You've got style... but not a lot of screen time.)
Buffalo = Whoever Shia Labeouf is in Indy IV (Young talent is good. But is it enough?)
Miami = Colonel Vogel (That old guy might have some fight left in him...)
AFC North
Baltimore = Hovitos (They'll keep you from what you want, but their weapons are wildly inaccurate.)
Pittsburgh = Marcus Brody (Can he overcome recent buffoonery and return to his former glory?)
Cincinnati = Thuggee slave (Never let imprisonment keep ya down!)
Cleveland = Dietrich (Bad, but mostly unmemorable).
AFC South
Colts = Young Indiana (There's really no reason he should have survived... but he's the hero.)
Jaguars = Mola Ram (Sudden personnel changes are his specialty.)
Houston = Toht (Scary but worthless in a fair fight.)
Tennessee = Short Round (The Young fella had a surprising amount of success.)
AFC West
San Diego = German Mechanic (Clearly superior, but those little lapses in concentration hurt. BIG TIME.)
Denver = Henry Jones Sr. (Well, I guess your plans make sense to YOU.)
Kansas City = Marion (How can you go on after taking that many shots?)
Oakland = Grail Knight (Regarding those QBs... "You must choose... but choose wisely.")
NFC East
Dallas = Elsa (Hot. But man... those slippery fingers can kill you.)
Philadelphia = Lao Che (Intimidating, but his team is injury prone.)
New York Giants = Willie Scott (Got a few things going... but the incessant whining makes everybody crazy.)
Washington = Mustached Merchant (Spends money on some very questionable things.)
NFC North
Chicago = Republic of Hatay Tank Crew (Squashes everything flat, but couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.)
Minnesota = Weber (Mustached and totally irrelevant.)
Green Bay = Forrestal ("He was good... he was very good.")
Detroit = Venice Librarian (C'mon, nobody's THAT stupid...)
NFC South
New Orleans = Kazim (Earlier, he came out of nowhere with surprising effectiveness. But is he in for a tragic fate?)
Carolina = Wu Han (Pretty effective, but dies too soon.)
Tampa Bay = Kali Victim (Everyone's happy to see him, but for all the WRONG reasons.)
Atlanta = Big Thugee Guard (We're all watching your inescapable, slow-motion demise with morbid fascination.)
NFC West
Seattle = Tough Sergeant (Took a terrific punishment last year. But can he take the wheel?)
St. Louis = Cairo Swordsman (Dangerous, but surprisingly easy to kill.)
Arizona = Maharajah (The flashy kid hasn't got it done for you so far...)
San Francisco = Chen (How's that hand?)
