The Man
Well-known member
http://www.examiner.com/x-488-Movie-Examiner~y2008m12d23-The-10-Worst-Movies-of-2008-Part-II
7) Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull...
After waiting 20 years for the word to come down through the pipeline that an actual dyed-in-the-wool Indiana Jones movie would finally be returning to the big screen again, I can honesty admit that as a fan I was excited. But I was also very, very, very, veryveryveryvery worried that this film was being released 15 years too late.
The only small bit of comfort I could find in hoping that the film would be any good was that Steve Spielberg has grown-up as a filmmaker since he made The Last Crusade. I didn't even mind that Ford had aged a bit since his last run in the brown fedora. In fact when I think about my experience with Kingdom of the Crystal Skull the only think I even liked in the film was Harrison Ford. He seemed both anxious and capable to do this thing right. As for the rest of the flick...
Blame George Lucas all you want anti-Lucasians, but it was Steven Spielberg's name on the Director's chair. He signed off on the prairie dogs, the refrigerator escape, Ray Winstone's salty sidekick, Cate Blanchett's ultra-underused super-villain, Mutt Jones and the terribly embarrassing monkey swing scene, and all that other sci-fi mumbo jumbo that belongs firmly locked in the spoiler vault. But locked up so well that no one who's never seen it will have to see it - and we that have shall never have to speak of it again...
It's not that Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a truly "bad" movie. But it's a really bad Indiana Jones movie. Even worse it's a really terrible Steven Spielberg movie. Something nobody has seen since... God... Maybe ever? I'm a huge fan of the Jones franchise. Even Temple of Doom. I LOVE Temple of Doom. But I'll never watch Crystal Skull again in this lifetime.
I want those six hours that I stood win line with costumed fans out in front of the Seattle Cinerama back. Those six long hours I could have spent drinking beer and watching round one of the Spurs/Lakers playoff series. But those hours are long gone now... And hopefully on their tail will follow the remaining dusty memories I have of this clunky, cruddy, mellow-dramatic, soft-as-soft-serve Indiana Jones flick...