Embarrassing Checking Accounts

A

AlivePoet

New member
Here's one: I was taking the metro today in the city, and, well, there was an impeccable tush that just boarded the train. She was facing the completely opposite direction, and it seemed like an opportune time to check her out from behind. Admittedly, I liked what I saw, and gave it ample attention. Then I realized that because we were facing the window, she was getting all of it head on.

:eek: ;) (I hope I don't come across as evil to the female Raveners here... it's actually natural.)

Any great accounts you guys and girls care to share?

*Obviously keeping it PG-13 in content, for the sake of the board.
 
IAdventurer01

IAdventurer01

Well-known member
Maybe because it's because I'm currently studying accounting, but this is not what I expected from a topic titled "Embarrassing Checking Accounts."

I'd love to participate in this topic, but I tend to be so ... oblivious ... that my friends often attempt to make me "more perverted."
 
A

AlivePoet

New member
IAdventurer01 said:
Maybe because it's because I'm currently studying accounting, but this is not what I expected from a topic titled "Embarrassing Checking Accounts."
Click to expand...

Can I qualify this as a cerebral victory, or do pun titles transcend intellect?

IAdventurer01 said:
I'd love to participate in this topic, but I tend to be so ... oblivious ... that my friends often attempt to make me "more perverted."
Click to expand...

That's funny. Half the time while walking I subconsciously do a 360 after a lovely lass passes by. In fact, apparently I did it so often that my ex-girlfriend once asked me if I suffer from vertigo. If she was being sarcastic, add that to the list of reasons why she is now my ex.
 
monkey

monkey

Guest
Ah yes, Girl Watching, one of my favorite endeavors.

I can't tell you how many times I have been a "Supermarket Stalker". Going down the same aisle three or four times just to check out some ............nice young Lady(s)....even to the point of forgetting what I came to the supermarket for in the first place.

...Or how many times I've narrowly avoided a disastrous accident while driving along the beach in summer.

...Or falling in Love at least four or five times on the way home on the train....(depending on the number of stops).

And even when I am out with my Lady friend, she doesn't mind if I do a few 360's. she doesn't mind if I do a little window shopping, as long as I stay exclusively with her brand.

So Alivepoet, you got caught looking? No worries, my guess is that the Lady probably appreciated it very much.
 
A

AlivePoet

New member
It really is tricky, knowing whether or not they appreciate this gazing activity. My guess--and believe it, that's all it is--is that they're ambivalent toward the whole gazing thing. Maybe they're annoyed at times, maybe flattered, but so long as it's a hands-off deal, they're soaring on top of the world.

But truly, all gazing and no grazing makes for a very horny bull.

Alright, now this is beginning to feel... dirty...
 
Violet

Violet

Moderator Emeritus
^ ROFL!!!!

You're not evil, AlivePoet. Let me make you feel a little better (why did that sound dirty? I'm just about to tell a story....)

I was dancing at a niteclub a few weeks back with some mates and I see this pretty decent guy dancing with a couple of his mates. Now another guy (who I was not into) keep trying to dance with me, even though I kept rejecting him and telling him no (some guys just don't get it). Eventually that guy got the idea and sod off. I kept looking over at the decent guy, hoping he might want to dance with me. His friends called me over and introduced themselves (they all were pretty easy on the eye) and no dancing. He walked past me a couple of times on the dance floor and kept staying on the same side of the floor as me, so I seriously couldn't work out whether he was shy and liked me or what. He left eventually. So I guess he wasn't into me, though I just couldn't understand why he had stayed there so long.

So yeah... that's my story. There's plenty of similar ones to that.
 
A

AlivePoet

New member
^ Good story Violet! Appreciate that. Always reassuring to hear empathy from the opposite sex, to know that we fellas are every bit as capable of being the mystery to you girls that you are to us.

Here's another account: I ate a meal in the dark at a blind restaurant one time, and I tried checking out a blind waitress. I couldn't easily, as it was pitch black--but my then-girlfriend wouldn't know easily, either. Well, they lit the dim candles when we started eating, so I could barely make out the waitress' figure, but just barely was enough to let me know that the waitress had a lovely figure. Then I felt guilty because, well, she couldn't know. Also, my then-girlfriend caught me in the act. Well, so what? The food was fantastic.
 
Rocket Surgeon

Rocket Surgeon

Guest
I've been to Casinos all over the States but nowadays I just gamble with my ATM Card. I go into a crowded lane in the store and swipe the card, (come on baby, come on baby).

Once the very nice lady told me it didn't work and I was mortified! I asked her to try again and she did and said "I'm sorry sir".

I asked her to try again and started to hear the groans and general *****ing of the people in line behind me, but I begged for a last roll, I mean swipe of the card and she turned the pad my way and I grabbed a plastic bag, covered the magnetic stripe and Yahtzee! It hit! Boxcars!

I turned to the people in line pointed right at them and said YES! SHUT UP!(not really).

Not all of them turn out as well though...

I did have an embarrasing one at Church one time, as an altar boy, at a funeral...but she was SO beautiful!
 
indyclone25

indyclone25

Well-known member
i was leaving a store with my son yesterday when a very attractive woman was going into it and i turned my head to check her from the behind as as i did she turned and looked at me i kinda turned red and shrugged my shoulders and she just blew me a kiss and walked into the store --- i can tell you ---i felt pretty good after that . :hat:
 
monkey

monkey

Guest
indyclone25 said:
i was leaving a store with my son yesterday when a very attractive woman was going into it and i turned my head to check her from the behind as as i did she turned and looked at me i kinda turned red and shrugged my shoulders and she just blew me a kiss and walked into the store --- i can tell you ---i felt pretty good after that . :hat:
Click to expand...

For a married man (I'm assuming) with kids, that's pretty close to "Scoring".

Good on Ya Indyclone!

Let there be no ban on men looking at women.......regardless of marital status.....etc.

As long as it is done with discretion and class.

It is only natural.
 
Rocket Surgeon

Rocket Surgeon

Guest
monkey said:
For a married man (I'm assuming) with kids, that's pretty close to "Scoring".Good on Ya Indyclone!Let there be no ban on men looking at women.......regardless of marital status.....etc.As long as it is done with discretion and class. It is only natural.
Click to expand...

So it ISN'T alright to bark at other dogs even though you're chained to the porch?
 
A

AlivePoet

New member
Freshly in: Had a few drinks tonight at the Jazz Fest in Montreal, and then I ran into a friend from NYC. I didn't remember her being as attractive as she appeared tonight! Well, we had some good laughs, some Canadian/American humorous jabs, and I nearly went for her... the only thing holding me back was the fact that there was a very attractive girl dancing just in front of us, and I mean really breaking it out...with a nearly perfect figure, graceful form, sexy as a Utopian maiden (but with tighter clothing). Anyway, she was quite the distraction, and I didn't make a move on my friend for the night. Now being sober, I'm glad I didn't...it could have led to some commitments I'm just not wanting to deal with right now, or else ruined a Platonic friendship.

So, there you have it--proof that a sexy @ss can actually save your own.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top