KotCS on various 2008 lists

The Man

Well-known member
http://www.examiner.com/x-488-Movie-Examiner~y2008m12d23-The-10-Worst-Movies-of-2008-Part-II

7) Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull...

After waiting 20 years for the word to come down through the pipeline that an actual dyed-in-the-wool Indiana Jones movie would finally be returning to the big screen again, I can honesty admit that as a fan I was excited. But I was also very, very, very, veryveryveryvery worried that this film was being released 15 years too late.

The only small bit of comfort I could find in hoping that the film would be any good was that Steve Spielberg has grown-up as a filmmaker since he made The Last Crusade. I didn't even mind that Ford had aged a bit since his last run in the brown fedora. In fact when I think about my experience with Kingdom of the Crystal Skull the only think I even liked in the film was Harrison Ford. He seemed both anxious and capable to do this thing right. As for the rest of the flick...

Blame George Lucas all you want anti-Lucasians, but it was Steven Spielberg's name on the Director's chair. He signed off on the prairie dogs, the refrigerator escape, Ray Winstone's salty sidekick, Cate Blanchett's ultra-underused super-villain, Mutt Jones and the terribly embarrassing monkey swing scene, and all that other sci-fi mumbo jumbo that belongs firmly locked in the spoiler vault. But locked up so well that no one who's never seen it will have to see it - and we that have shall never have to speak of it again...

It's not that Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a truly "bad" movie. But it's a really bad Indiana Jones movie. Even worse it's a really terrible Steven Spielberg movie. Something nobody has seen since... God... Maybe ever? I'm a huge fan of the Jones franchise. Even Temple of Doom. I LOVE Temple of Doom. But I'll never watch Crystal Skull again in this lifetime.

I want those six hours that I stood win line with costumed fans out in front of the Seattle Cinerama back. Those six long hours I could have spent drinking beer and watching round one of the Spurs/Lakers playoff series. But those hours are long gone now... And hopefully on their tail will follow the remaining dusty memories I have of this clunky, cruddy, mellow-dramatic, soft-as-soft-serve Indiana Jones flick...
 

Agent Z

Active member
The Man said:

That's an interesting top 10 list there.

Apparently, people are downloading to download..as there is some spotty quality of films at the top.

I mean, do I want to risk legal action because of Zohan on my hard drive?

Kind of interesting to see TDK at number one, since I couldn't recall a quality CAM of it even being out there for the longest.

Btw, I wonder if this report takes into account the number of streaming sites that are linking to these films.
 

Moedred

Administrator
Staff member
Here's the Time article:
05_nuke.jpg

To "nuke the fridge" means to exhaust a Hollywood franchise with disappointing sequels. It was coined after a ludicrous scene in the latest Indiana Jones installment in which the hero climbs into a refrigerator and somehow survives a nuclear explosion. The term is patterned after "jump the shark," which comes from the 91st episode of Happy Days — in which Fonzie jumps over a shark tank while water-skiing in a leather jacket — and now denotes the point at which something trendy starts to really suck.
And the Onion's worst list (#16 of 17).
George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, and Harrison Ford's fourth go-around with the archeologist/adventurer starts well enough, but quickly gets lost in the wilds of dumb gags, questionable CGI, lazy performances, and a grand finale that's anything but. Watching it is like watching a lovely balloon slowly deflate into a sad lump of hackery. "Knowledge was their treasure," huh? Go away now.
 

Attila the Professor

Moderator
Staff member
Interesting. Is Empire picking out the best moments as defining moments? A look at the list suggests so. If so, I could sort of buy that choice, of the ants, and I guess if you're going for things that are both memorable and good, that might fit the bill best.
 

The Man

Well-known member
Attila the Professor said:
Interesting. Is Empire picking out the best moments as defining moments? A look at the list suggests so. If so, I could sort of buy that choice, of the ants, and I guess if you're going for things that are both memorable and good, that might fit the bill best.

The ant sequence has gotten a bad rap. It's the closest to icky that the movie gets. The CG is pretty necessary - and pretty well done. After Hangar 51, it's the most physicality that's required of Ford. A minor gem lost between the roughs of the jungle chase and the rubber tree...
 

Goonie

New member
Indy IV may have made it onto a number of 'worst of 2008" lists, however, this was the worst event in the Indy universe this year:
:(
indianasouthpark-2.jpg
 

Forbidden Eye

Well-known member
Indy 4 might've been "Movie with the most mistakes of 2008", but at the main page pointed out, it's the least flawed Indy movie.

What's more interesting is the fact that Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is currently the Indiana Jones film with the least mistakes at moviemistakes.com!

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade - 133 mistakes
Raiders of the Lost Ark - 96 mistakes
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - 65 mistakes
And this isn't the first time Indy tops the movie blunders list either. The highest honors also went to Raiders of the Lost Ark in 1981 and again to the Last Crusade in 1989!
Only Temple of Doom didn't make the top as it had to make room for The Terminator in 1984.

(y)
 

Attila the Professor

Moderator
Staff member
I mean, this measures goofs though more than anything. It'll pick up some continuity stuff, sure, and you want people to care about that and put care into it, but it's not at the meat of what gives a film value.
 

Moedred

Administrator
Staff member
Some low-circulation (assuming they're on paper) journals weigh in:

San Francisco Examiner, 10 Worst Movies of 2008
7) After waiting 20 years for the word to come down through the pipeline that an actual dyed-in-the-wool Indiana Jones movie would finally be returning to the big screen again, I can honesty admit that as a fan I was excited. But I was also very, very, very, veryveryveryvery worried that this film was being released 15 years too late.
The only small bit of comfort I could find in hoping that the film would be any good was that Steve Spielberg has grown-up as a filmmaker since he made The Last Crusade. I didn't even mind that Ford had aged a bit since his last run in the brown fedora. In fact when I think about my experience with Kingdom of the Crystal Skull the only think I even liked in the film was Harrison Ford. He seemed both anxious and capable to do this thing right. As for the rest of the flick however...
Blame George Lucas all you want anti-Lucasians, but it was Steven Spielberg's name on the Director's chair. He signed off on the prairie dogs, the refrigerator escape, Ray Winstone's stupefyingly bland sidekick, Cate Blanchett's ultra-underused super-villain, Mutt Jones and the terribly embarrassing monkey swing scene, and all that other sci-fi mumbo jumbo that belongs firmly locked in the spoiler vault. But locked up so well that no one who's never seen it will have to see it - and we that have shall never have to speak of it again...
It's not that Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a truly "bad" movie. But it's a really bad Indiana Jones movie. Even worse it's a really terrible Steven Spielberg movie. Something nobody has seen since... God... Maybe ever? I'm a huge fan of the Jones franchise. Even Temple of Doom. I LOVE Temple of Doom. But I'll never watch Crystal Skull again in this lifetime.
I want those six hours that I stood in line with costumed fans out in front of the Seattle Cinerama back. Those six long hours I could have spent drinking beer and watching round one of the Spurs/Lakers playoff series. But those hours are long gone now... And hopefully on their tail will follow the remaining dusty memories I have of this clunky, cruddy, mellow-dramatic, soft-as-soft-serve Indiana Jones flick...
Idaho Mountain Home News, Worst Movies of 2008
8. This does hurt to write, I was a big fan of The Last Crusade, I thought the chemistry in that movie between Connery and Ford on screen was remarkable. Now, fast forward 20 years, with Crystal Skull, and this just didn't live up to any of my expectations and personally I think the series was better off retired after The Last Crusade.
Denver YourHub, 10 worst movies of 2008
1) I know I said that Hamlet 2 was possibly the worst movie I have seen but there was no greater crime in 2008 than Indiana Jones. Steven Spielberg you're better than this. You could have just remade Raiders of the Lost Ark and I wouldn't have felt so ripped off like I did with Crystal Skull. The more I think about it you could have stuck Indiana Jones in Hook, remade that, and I would've felt better. How do you f*** this one up? What sort of sick power does George Lucas have over you? Crystal Skull was bonkers bad: aliens, Mutt, Marion, androgynous Cate, bad soap opera Male/Female bickering, Indiana getting married at the end, no Sean Connery ... ugh. I hate to say this but when is the next National Treasure movie coming out? Let me put it to you another way; when I was 19, there was this girl, Tera Becker. I liked her this........................ much. I wanted her to be my girlfriend. On New Years Eve, we were both at the same party. She was being flirty with me. I was drinking Southern Comfort and not pacing myself. I eventually threw up...most on the floor; she was hit with a little shrapnel...maybe a bit more than a little. She never spoke to me again. I was crushed. If someone said that from now till the day I die, every girl I meet that I am interested in, the end result will be the Tera incident, or I can watch Crystal Skull again. I am taking the former. That's how much I hate the movie, that's how much I hate what George Lucas and Steve Spielberg did to destroy a great legacy.
Rhode Island Valley Breeze, Worst Films of 2008
You Broke My Heart: George Lucas, you lost me at "Star Wars: Episode I," and Stephen Spielberg, you're like a kindly uncle who knows how to work a camera, but you don't really shock and awe enough to populate my DVD collection, and Harrison Ford, well, you kind of put me to sleep. But in 1981, when the three of you collaborated on "Raiders of the Lost Ark," it was an adventurous kitschy kismet that connected and resonated with generations not yet familiar with the pompous of CGI. But this year, as the three of you re-connected to release part four in the Indiana Jones franchise, "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull," you left me dejected and confused. The computer-animated monkeys and ants, the escape from a nuclear bomb in a refrigerator, the addition of a long-lost teenage son, the freakin' aliens. Everything pandering and perplexing, nothing quite working the way it did nearly 30 years ago.
It's as if your dad, uncle, and their work buddy got the old band back together, but instead of playing classic rock jams, they decided on Lil Wayne covers. Embarrassing? Sure. Unfortunate? Even more so.
Next time, fellas, just talk about it during dinner. Then sleep on it and work on something else.
 

Moedred

Administrator
Staff member
Most Popular Movie Trailers of 2008
2. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

IMDB's Most Searched Movies Of The Year
7. It wasn't even close to the worst movie of the year despite what some would say but as more time passes it becomes clear that the producer Mr Lucas was far more invested in this project than the director and star ever were. How many hits were people logging on morbidly to see if Harrison Ford had died of old age before the movie's release?
 

MaxPhactor23

New member
caats said:
your inability to form a sentence is pretty good too

Did you honestly just say that? Have you looked at your writing abilities lately? Hah!

Poor baby's just disgruntled because his favorite ****ty movie's being bashed constantly. Awe! ;)
 

The Man

Well-known member
No. 2...

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has been discussed ad nauseam (hey, some real Latin) here on CHUD.com so I'll keep it simple.

This film arrived on the crime scene where our childhood's bruised and rectally hewn form lie whimpering and, seeing no remaining sign of the Star Wars prequels, loosened its belt buckle and plunged its already ripened c*ck into our already gaping new abyss and adding to the already frowning dead inner child we once were caretakers of.

That we didn't feel the sting due to the already massive trauma by its predacessor doesn't make the violation any less repugnant.

Cut from the film: The beating, pulsing heart of adventure and the nostalgic love of yesteryear. And our innocence and delight.

Performance of Hate: Karen Allen. She ought to be hit with a mirror on Katanga's boat.

Would it help if the main character was gay: No, but Harrison Ford does wear an earring!

If CHUD had a blurb on the box it'd be: "George Lucas is prejudiced against space aliens but it's perfectly fine if they're interdimensional aliens but has no clue that if you talk to an alien it means the same f(u)cking thing."
 

MaxPhactor23

New member
Forbidden Eye said:
Indy 4 might've been "Movie with the most mistakes of 2008", but at the main page pointed out, it's the least flawed Indy movie.
(y)

That's debatable...cause I know more then a few people that would say KOTCS has the most glaring of flaws in all of the Indy series aka the script. ;)
 

Major West

Member
I'm away for a few weeks and come back to see the same old forum nutters posting away their links as if to prove something.:sick:
 

Crusade>Raiders

New member
Let me put it to you another way; when I was 19, there was this girl, Tera Becker. I liked her this........................ much. I wanted her to be my girlfriend. On New Years Eve, we were both at the same party. She was being flirty with me. I was drinking Southern Comfort and not pacing myself. I eventually threw up...most on the floor; she was hit with a little shrapnel...maybe a bit more than a little. She never spoke to me again. I was crushed. If someone said that from now till the day I die, every girl I meet that I am interested in, the end result will be the Tera incident, or I can watch Crystal Skull again. I am taking the former. That's how much I hate the movie, that's how much I hate what George Lucas and Steve Spielberg did to destroy a great legacy.

I just couldn't stop laughing at this. WOW, thats some serious hate.
 

Attila the Professor

Moderator
Staff member
Major West said:
I'm away for a few weeks and come back to see the same old forum nutters posting away their links as if to prove something.:sick:

Take a look up for awhile and tell me if The Man has only posted views on KotCS that agree with his own; you'll discover that not to be the case.
 
Top