You fell into committing one general cliché that, I admit, may just pass through an everyday readers' mind unnoticed, but one that has read a lot and knows something about story structuring will go like "oh no, not <i>this</i> again..." and once that is written into the story, there is just one way it could possibly end between the protagonist and his love interest.
What it is, I'm letting you to figure out by yourself a little longer.
Then there's more... of course, majority of the fans of your story will now jump out of bushes and ask me how can I ever mock such a beatiful and well-written story like that, but it had a few structural bits that bugged me. Don't worry (anyone of you), I'm not going to tear Monkey man off that great shrine of the Indy fiction writers he had obviously just rised in your mind by trashing <i>Gypsy's Kiss</i> completely, because I liked the general idea in the story and the plot itself, I really did... but there's always something.
Gypsy's Kiss had a few problems with pacing. Every really good story has its beginning, middle and ending in close balance, something GK unfortunately had not. The beginning dragged (and was too long to serve the balance), the middle part was too shattered with some issues getting too much highlight and some brushed past even little too quickly (of course, this will most often be the case when one is writing a serial with every chapter ending to a cliffhanger, though there is a better way to work the structure and still come up with decent chapter endings that make the reader to crave for more), and the ending... it really didn't slowly rise and build up to the climax, it just suddenly kicked in and was over just as fast, this got it to lack majority of this so-called extra tension it could have received.
Then there is the issue about characters and the way they were pictured. To pace through the story, there must be lesser and more important characters, and the writing style should make it clearly out. GK however... well, to give you a concrete example is the Nazi major in the end. The final chapter was written in a way that gives you an impression possibly making you to think he was the main villain of the story... <i>but he had actually made his first appearance barely one chapter earlier</i>. I think I don't have to tell you the things that are for granted to make you figure out what is wrong in this picture. There are more similar things with characters, but more about them if Monkey man wishes for a more detailed report.
And it gets us to the another... the point of view the story used. For 90% of the story, the teller's eyes were locked on Indiana Jones. They only jumped to describe the things about some other character's POV only when it appeared you need to give a thrill impression or tell the readers something crucial that would seemingly appear more logical if they were told that way; which is actually a sign of a writer who still needs to hone his/her skills. Especially chapter eight was this kind of odd bird. It just suddenly jumped out of context, because there was no more secquences like that. And by this I don't mean that the writer should have told us more about the kid in question, but e.g. take us off Indy and describe what Marcus or the Nazis were doing in the meantime.
The writing style is good, dialogue flows smoothly with no artificial "cheap takes" to move them from subject to another, all in all good. It's the story flow that prevents GK from being a masterpiece. Too many odd things here and there.
<small>And please, do not try to play knight in a shiny armor and tell me I'm taking it too rough on an amateur writer, I'm well aware of that. But when the context itself goes out for being something like this (every chapter got an announcement on the main page, all the praising comments)... the critique has to be the same caliber, right? Keeps the world in balance.</small>