Gypsy's Kiss
- Thread starter hffan2000
- Start date
A
Aussie Jones
Guest
I don't think anyone likes criticism. I think Gypsy's Kiss is worthy of publishing.
monkey
Guest
I'm sorry Finn that I had to say what I said, because I consider you a friend (and I would never think of kicking you).
I understand constructive criticism, but stating bluntly that you don't think it's worth ten cents, well, that really hurt, especially when it is something that I spent quite a lot of time and effort on.
Earlier in this thread when you were being rather blunt with your criticism, I tried to do what my Mom taught me many years ago. She taught me that when people hurt your feelings or insult you, instead of turning on them with anger, you instead try to kill them with kindness.
Well, that didn't seem to work, so I had to state my feelings.
OK, that's done, now let's move on.
No hard feelings.
I understand constructive criticism, but stating bluntly that you don't think it's worth ten cents, well, that really hurt, especially when it is something that I spent quite a lot of time and effort on.
Earlier in this thread when you were being rather blunt with your criticism, I tried to do what my Mom taught me many years ago. She taught me that when people hurt your feelings or insult you, instead of turning on them with anger, you instead try to kill them with kindness.
Well, that didn't seem to work, so I had to state my feelings.
OK, that's done, now let's move on.
No hard feelings.
Chattar Lal
Guest
..
Last edited:
Sure thing... but you better learn some Finnish first. And as being overly critical... not really. Just on my usual level, since I read a lot.
<small>As for those other 'love it'-comments go ...of course it's the best thing you've ever read if it's the <i>only</i> thing you've ever read.
(You get the idea.)</small>
<small>As for those other 'love it'-comments go ...of course it's the best thing you've ever read if it's the <i>only</i> thing you've ever read.
(You get the idea.)</small>Chattar Lal
Guest
I can't speak Finnish but I like your music. Such as Sibelius: 7 symphonies...
IndyGirl821
Guest
I think Monkey is the best writer at The Raven.
ElodieJones
New member
Congratulations for this great adventure!!!
I have end to read it yesterday!
And I think that, it's really in the spirit of Indiana Jones.
Like the movies.
I love this story !!!
I have end to read it yesterday!
And I think that, it's really in the spirit of Indiana Jones.
Like the movies.
I love this story !!!
INDYfatigable
New member
Great story Monkey! But, dude, what's with the end?
Klaus Kerner
Member
Sorry for unearthing this ancient thread, but I have just finished reading this.
This MASSIVE story is available here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/1973091/1/Indiana-Jones-and-the-Gypsy-s-Kiss (primate/monkey also uploaded hos other stroy to that site).
I used https://fichub.net/ to dowwnload the story as an pdf and used a german service (similar to your lulu.com) to make a paperback out of it (did the same with Sunken Continent, which is the other story by monkey). Judging from the synopyses I have read I created a cover using existing artworks.
The books turned out a lot bigger than the other Indy-books in my shelves.
I decided to give these fanstories a go since i was hungry for new Indy-material after the FoA, SoK and Smoking Mirror - fannovels (and I will read others like Sword of Gods, Curse of the Nile and Prisoners of he Damned in the future). The reviews on these two fanstories here and other places indicated that this is a really great Indy-story ... and I have to agree wholeheartedly.
The pacing of the book is exceptional. The chapters are held rather short so you can read a couple of chapters in one go. Other novel often have such huge chapters that you can not finish them in one session. The tension is always kept high and a lot of cliffhangers are used to keep you invested in the story. SoK had a lot of "changes of the settings/locals" , this one also has a lot of locations BUT unlike SOK, it really works here. Indy and Vadoma are getting chased across Europe by the authorities, Nazis and other baddies. From the start of their escape you know where they want to go and which route they want to take so it make a lot of sense to the reader. There are a lot of action sequences in the book and it felt like that there was always something exciting happening. This worked a lot better than SOK for me. In understand that this story was released chapter by chapter on this site years ago and you can really tell by the way it was written because of the use of the cliffhangers
The opening-segment in the Inca temple and the chase on the train and the river was very suspenseful and a rather big opening piece. It gave you a good introduction to the pace of this story.
Akhenaton and Nefertiti are used as the background for the McGuffin. The Armana-period is probably the most interesting in the history of Egypt and gives a lot of potential for an Indy-Story. The McGuffin is explained near the beginning of the book but it rarely gets mentioned in the middle of the story, which focuses on Indy´s escape through Europe. Indy and Vadoma get to Armana at one point in the story. The potential to go to the ruins of Tuthmoses workshop and mention the bust of Nefertitit was not used. I also really liked that Pompeji was used as a location and how it was connected to the artifact/story. Vadoma is a great Indy-girl and Indy has great chemistry with her.
There is a lack of a main villain. An evil german archeologist is mentioned in the beginning but not seen in the story at all. At the end of the story there is a Russian archaeologist and a German Major but they are introduced so late in the story that they can not be compared to a main antagonist. Since the majority of the plot focuses on Indýs escape through Europe a main villain is actually not needed here.
As other reviews have pointed out (and Monkey/primate admitted to that in a foreword) the ending of the story did not quite land. When the "unread pages" of the book got thinner and thinner I wondered when the final act / climax would begin. A lot more pages could have been used for the ending.
I like the setting of an undiscovered tomb in the Valley of the Kings and it starts very well but it ended rather abruptly. Indy doesn´t even get to see the Sun Tablets. The tomb caves in because of a firefight with the Nazis ... that should have happened AFTER Indy got to the tablets. The tablet are not even mentioned at the end of the book at all. I don´t mind the tomb caving in and getting flooded (and the tablets getting lost in there) BUT Indy and the reader needed to get to the tablets first!
So yes, the final act could have used more work BUT the story that lead to those last pages was really exciting and therefore gets a high recommendation from me! I will be doing a cruise on the Nile at the end of September. Will be cruising between Luxor to Aswan ... Indy cruised the Nile from Cairo to Luxor in the book (I will take that route by plane). So my cruise starts where Indy´s ended. I will be fondly thinking about this Indy-adventure when i am on the Nile in 2,5 months.
This MASSIVE story is available here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/1973091/1/Indiana-Jones-and-the-Gypsy-s-Kiss (primate/monkey also uploaded hos other stroy to that site).
I used https://fichub.net/ to dowwnload the story as an pdf and used a german service (similar to your lulu.com) to make a paperback out of it (did the same with Sunken Continent, which is the other story by monkey). Judging from the synopyses I have read I created a cover using existing artworks.
The books turned out a lot bigger than the other Indy-books in my shelves.
I decided to give these fanstories a go since i was hungry for new Indy-material after the FoA, SoK and Smoking Mirror - fannovels (and I will read others like Sword of Gods, Curse of the Nile and Prisoners of he Damned in the future). The reviews on these two fanstories here and other places indicated that this is a really great Indy-story ... and I have to agree wholeheartedly.
The pacing of the book is exceptional. The chapters are held rather short so you can read a couple of chapters in one go. Other novel often have such huge chapters that you can not finish them in one session. The tension is always kept high and a lot of cliffhangers are used to keep you invested in the story. SoK had a lot of "changes of the settings/locals" , this one also has a lot of locations BUT unlike SOK, it really works here. Indy and Vadoma are getting chased across Europe by the authorities, Nazis and other baddies. From the start of their escape you know where they want to go and which route they want to take so it make a lot of sense to the reader. There are a lot of action sequences in the book and it felt like that there was always something exciting happening. This worked a lot better than SOK for me. In understand that this story was released chapter by chapter on this site years ago and you can really tell by the way it was written because of the use of the cliffhangers
The opening-segment in the Inca temple and the chase on the train and the river was very suspenseful and a rather big opening piece. It gave you a good introduction to the pace of this story.
Akhenaton and Nefertiti are used as the background for the McGuffin. The Armana-period is probably the most interesting in the history of Egypt and gives a lot of potential for an Indy-Story. The McGuffin is explained near the beginning of the book but it rarely gets mentioned in the middle of the story, which focuses on Indy´s escape through Europe. Indy and Vadoma get to Armana at one point in the story. The potential to go to the ruins of Tuthmoses workshop and mention the bust of Nefertitit was not used. I also really liked that Pompeji was used as a location and how it was connected to the artifact/story. Vadoma is a great Indy-girl and Indy has great chemistry with her.
There is a lack of a main villain. An evil german archeologist is mentioned in the beginning but not seen in the story at all. At the end of the story there is a Russian archaeologist and a German Major but they are introduced so late in the story that they can not be compared to a main antagonist. Since the majority of the plot focuses on Indýs escape through Europe a main villain is actually not needed here.
As other reviews have pointed out (and Monkey/primate admitted to that in a foreword) the ending of the story did not quite land. When the "unread pages" of the book got thinner and thinner I wondered when the final act / climax would begin. A lot more pages could have been used for the ending.
I like the setting of an undiscovered tomb in the Valley of the Kings and it starts very well but it ended rather abruptly. Indy doesn´t even get to see the Sun Tablets. The tomb caves in because of a firefight with the Nazis ... that should have happened AFTER Indy got to the tablets. The tablet are not even mentioned at the end of the book at all. I don´t mind the tomb caving in and getting flooded (and the tablets getting lost in there) BUT Indy and the reader needed to get to the tablets first!
So yes, the final act could have used more work BUT the story that lead to those last pages was really exciting and therefore gets a high recommendation from me! I will be doing a cruise on the Nile at the end of September. Will be cruising between Luxor to Aswan ... Indy cruised the Nile from Cairo to Luxor in the book (I will take that route by plane). So my cruise starts where Indy´s ended. I will be fondly thinking about this Indy-adventure when i am on the Nile in 2,5 months.
Hello to the moderators here. Thank you for allowing me back on your great forum. You know who I am, and I have even asked to be banned from here. I am glad that you did not. With years come wisdom. I know that before I was very arrogant and wasn't the best. But years have past....hell, I've served more years than some people have served for 'manslaughter' (even murder if you've got the right lawyer). I am no longer my arrogant self. I am a different person who has made positive changes. Thank you for not banning me. I am working hard on a better version of myself.
All that said....what happened to "Indiana Jones and the Gypsy's Kiss"? It has disappeared from your 'Indiana Jones Fanfiction'. When you click on it now you get:
Why is that? I think that IJ and the GK is one of the best fanfictions evert written. I know....because I wrote it. And I know that it is pretty good. Why has it been removed from your site?
When I click on it this is what I get.
Not Found
The requested URL /community/fanfiction/novelizations/gypsy_kiss.doc was not found on this server.
Also, recently, another member of your forum named Dyoghenes has created a fantastic covert for it: I wish I had the skills to present this cover to you, but I don't.
Anyway....I hope I can show this cover soon. Or maybe he will.
All that said....what happened to "Indiana Jones and the Gypsy's Kiss"? It has disappeared from your 'Indiana Jones Fanfiction'. When you click on it now you get:
Not Found
The requested URL /community/fanfiction/novelizations/gypsy_kiss.doc was not found on this server.Why is that? I think that IJ and the GK is one of the best fanfictions evert written. I know....because I wrote it. And I know that it is pretty good. Why has it been removed from your site?
When I click on it this is what I get.
Not Found
The requested URL /community/fanfiction/novelizations/gypsy_kiss.doc was not found on this server.
Also, recently, another member of your forum named Dyoghenes has created a fantastic covert for it: I wish I had the skills to present this cover to you, but I don't.
Anyway....I hope I can show this cover soon. Or maybe he will.
See your inbox
I tried that same logic when my wife found my burner phone. I tried explaining that "Side B**th" was a term of endearment akin to Adam and Eve, but she wasn't buying it.
That honor goes to Moedred
Thanks Moedred!